➪the one where you leave and leon lets you.
Warnings: no spoilers for re4 remake, angst, mentions of infidelity, ada being a sneaky b!tch, this is pure angst, mentions of blood, mentions of trauma, mentions of death, abuse, toxic relationships, abusive relationships, swearing
Word Count: 2.7k
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3
Leon’s leg had not stopped bouncing since you walked out the door of your shared apartment. That was nearly an hour ago and he hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch, where his elbows pressed to his knees and his hands pressed against his mouth.
He stared at the coffee table, and more specifically, at the small box that he placed on it just a few seconds after you left.
How had things become this screwed up? How did he let you slip away? Why didn’t he try to stop you when you fled the apartment with nothing but tears in your eyes?
You didn’t even take your phone in your rush to get away from him. He found that out when he entered the communal area of the apartment and looked all over for you before deciding to just call you. Your phone went off and it was then he realised that you had left it on the kitchen counter.
That was when he disappeared back into your shared room and rummaged around in his drawers for the box he bought six months ago. It was a month later when he made, he was sure, the biggest mistake of his life.
Leon needed information that only few had, one being a person he wanted to keep in his past forever. Somehow everything always came back to Ada, as frustrating as it was, and that was how he found himself tracking her down.
Turns out she was in the area and was more than willing to give Leon the information….but not without a cost. And the cost was the one thing he swore he would never involve in this part of his life. You.
She didn’t threaten you or anything, but she did insist on him partaking in things that would surely ruin your relationship. Fast forward to now and those things came back to bite him. Hard.
The sound of the door opening tore him out of his thoughts and instantly his eyes were on you. He turned his head and watched as you entered the apartment and closed the door behind you, fiddling with your fingers as you avoided eye contact.
You stand by the door for a few seconds, debating on turning right back around and leaving again, or just getting this over with. One sharp intake of breath later had you slowly walking over to Leon. He didn’t dare move or open his mouth to apologize as he watched you with guilty eyes, afraid that you would leave him again if he were to ambush you with all the thoughts that ran through his head in the last hour.
He missed you.
He was terrified that you wouldn’t come back to him.
He loved you more than life itself.
He needed you. And it scared him.
He never allowed himself to rely on others as he had been betrayed too many times to count, but he quickly gave that rule up when he met you. Not only did he rely on you to be his escape from the cruel, bad world, but he also relied on you to be the one person he trusted the most, the one person who would never turn their back to him.
Yet here you were, hesitating to sit beside him. How did things go so wrong?
You swallow harshly and sit next to him, placing your hands on your lap as you glance at the small box on the table. It was obvious what it was and you had to look away quickly before you ran away again.
Leon hadn’t been able to take his eyes off you, and the traces of tears still on your face did nothing to calm his racing heart. He refrained from reaching out to you and feeling the sense of comfort you always provided him. Instead, his leg came to a stop and he turned his body to face yours. “I didn’t know if you were coming back,” he said, not surprised at how unsteady his voice sounded.
You kept your eyes on the floor as you picked at the skin around your nails. It was a habit you had grown out of since you met Leon as he was somehow able to calm your nerves and take away the feeling of anxiety you dealt with on a daily basis.
His eyes narrowed as you inhaled sharply, your index finger moving to cover the small cut you had just made from pulling too hard at the skin of your thumb. He hadn’t seen you like this in months, so tense and uncomfortable. He hated that he was the reason you slipped back into old habits.
You pressed your finger harder against the cut, attempting to stop the small flow of blood as you answered him, “I didn’t want to,” you still refused to meet his eyes and that, along with your words, was enough to have his heart beat faster at the very real fact that he was losing you. You were slipping away and he was powerless to do anything about it. “I wanted to run away, go back to how I was before I met you. I wanted to feel somewhat normal after what happened….what you told me.”
Leon closed his eyes at that and turned his head away. Those were the words he never wanted to hear you say. Your life before him was terrible and you were running on pure adrenaline half the time, unsure if you would even still be alive when tomorrow came. The way your life was before…you were barely living. And he saved you.
He showed you that the feeling of abandonment you felt everyday was no way to live, and he filled in every hole that had formed in your heart. The one from your parents leaving you, the one from when your ex-boyfriend put his hands on you too many times to count, the one from when your best friend drank too much one night and decided to drive home anyway.
He took every ounce of pain you had and made it dissolve until it was a distant memory. The pain was replaced with happiness, love, want, desire. He never let you go through life alone - not if he could help it, anyway. Even on the days he was called away for work, the weeks you went without hearing a word from him were bearable as he left you with the assurance that he was coming back and he always would. And you understood.
You were his entirely. His person, his reason to keep fighting, his reason to never give up. You were and always will be the love of his life, and nothing anyone could ever do would change that.
Even his own fuck up wouldn’t change that.
“Y/n,” he said, not missing the way you tensed up even more at the way he said your name. “I’m so sorry.”
He wanted to say so much more but he had no idea where you two stood. He had never in his life felt more powerless, so out of control to the point where he was resisting the urge to pull his hair out. Did he even deserve to beg for a second chance? For you to allow him to explain what happened?
Leon had never felt more ashamed.
You finally look over at him, sadness overflowing in your eyes as you ignore his words. “So, every night you said you were with Chris or out running errands…you were with her?” You ask, not wanting the answer but knowing you needed to hear it for you to be able to move on and find the closure you were never able to get in your past relationships.
It seemed as though Leon didn’t want to answer either as his eyes stared into yours, silently begging you to not make him answer the question that would surely shatter any hope left to fix what he broke.
“Please,” you whispered, holding back a sob as you felt your eyes sting from unshed tears. The look in his eyes gave you the answer, but you needed to hear him say it, hear how he ruined what you two shared, how he broke the connection. Even if it hurt you more than anything else from your past, you needed to hear it. “Just answer the question.”
Leon broke eye contact again as he stared at the wooden floor, his jaw locked as he held back tears of his own.
“Were you with her?” You ask again and Leon hated how defeated you sounded. You didn’t even sound angry or annoyed, you just sounded heartbroken and embarrassed. He was convinced he would rather have you scream at him than have you talk to him in the quiet, tearful voice you were using now.
He waited a few more seconds before forcing out the answer that would surely be the final breaking point in your relationship, the beautiful, fragile thing it was. “Yes,”
The single word was powerful as it was the final nail in the coffin of your broken relationship. You quickly look away, nodding as you wipe away the blood on your jeans. You weren’t sure where to go from here and you had no clue what to say next. Your eyes land on the box again and you decide to keep asking questions you really didn’t want to know. “Was that for me?”
Leon didn’t know what you were talking about until he looked over at you again and saw what you were staring at. He felt offended that you would even ask that as he was sure he made his feelings for you crystal clear. Then again, your current situation was entirely his fault, and your trust in him was nonexistent at this point, so he really couldn’t blame you for beginning to question everything.
He had to hold back his scoff that would surely make things worse when he answered, “Of course it’s for you,”
You look down before back at the box again, hating the fact that you wanted to see what the ring looked like. You bring your finger up to your mouth and chew on your nail, wincing at the sore skin that surrounds it. “Can I see it?”
Leon felt his heart sink. This was not how he envisioned showing you the ring. In a perfect world he would’ve taken you out on a date, probably to your favorite spot - the lake you used to go to when things became too much as it brought you comfort - and he’d make another memory with you there. He’d get down on one knee and wouldn’t have a care in the world about the inevitable grass stains that would form on his pants and he’d ask you to be his forever. Like you were always meant to be.
He didn’t bother answering as he grabbed the box and held it out to you without a word, his eyes glued to the floor. You take it from him, brushing your fingers against his hand as you did so and unknowingly making his whole body ache for your touch. As you held it in your lap, you bit your lip as you looked over at him. His head was turned so you couldn’t see his face, and maybe that was for the best.
You open your mouth to say something, but all words die on your tongue and you close it again after a few seconds. Taking a deep breath, you look back down at the black box and convince yourself to just get it over with. You just wanted to see it, that’s all, then you can move on and leave this behind you.
When you opened the box and looked at the ring, you bit down harder on your lip to stop a cry from spilling out. It was perfect and the definition of your dream ring and you wanted to sob at how well he knew you and your style. It was simple but so beautiful and so you. Your vision blurred and you tried to blink back the tears as you closed the box. It was useless as tears still flowed down your face and landed on your jeans.
Leon brought his hand back up to his mouth and he pressed his knuckles to his lips, turning to you when he heard you close the box. You hand it back to him without a word being spoken and he refrained from taking you in his arms when he saw how you tried to discreetly wipe under your eyes.
He looked at you while remaining silent, completely speechless at what was currently unfolding before him. There’s so much he wanted to say, but what was the point? The relationship was over, that much was obvious when you asked to see the ring that should’ve had a permanent place on your finger for the rest of your life. The ring you should’ve seen in a surprising and special moment, not during a break up.
Break up.
Leon’s heart hurt as everything set in. You were breaking up with him and leaving him to face the harsh reality on his own.
You clear your throat and wipe your damp hands on your jeans, no plan in mind when you sit up straight and say, “Okay,” it came out more in a breathless tone rather than sounding confident, something you cringe at before continuing, “I should go pack my stuff.” You nodded at your own words as you stared at the floor, beginning to stand up.
That made Leon hold the box in his other hand as the one closest to you reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Wait, please,” he quietly begged and you froze at his touch. You sat back down, though you never got to fully stand up to begin with, and face him. He looked heartbroken with unshed tears gathering in his waterline, his blue eyes begging you to stay with him. You could get lost in those ocean blue orbs he called his eyes, and you have done just that many times before. But not now. You couldn’t give in and accept his apology when he was the one who betrayed you beyond repair. “Let’s just talk about this some more.”
His hand was beginning to burn against your skin, so you gently pulled away, ignoring the hurt that flashed across his face. “There’s nothing left to talk about,” you say quietly, giving him a sad smile that he wished he never saw as he knew it would haunt him when he tried to go to sleep without you tonight. “I think we both know that.”
No, he wanted to say, let me fix this. Let me save us.
No words left his mouth as he watched you stand up and make your way to the bedroom. You were in there for what felt like hours before you walked back out, your duffle bag slung over your shoulder and a backpack on your other one.
You don’t say goodbye as you grab your phone on the way to the door, glancing back at him one last time. He was still in the same spot, his shoulders tense, his jaw locked and his eyes glued to the box in his hands.
You tear your eyes away from him and open the door, hesitating for just a second before you walk out and close it behind you.
When Leon heard the door shut and knew he was alone, the tears he had been holding back since he confessed what he had done came flowing freely down his face. He opened the box and looked at the ring, your ring. It always would be. You were the one girl he had ever dreamed of giving it to, and all it was now was a reminder of what he did and what he ruined.
He took it out of the box and held it between his thumb and index finger, watching as it sparkled in the light of the setting sun. Tossing the box aside, he reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys. He stared at the ring for a few more minutes before unclasping the chain and sliding the band onto the key ring, right beside the key to this very apartment.
