NeneRuki

I don’t deserve to live...It’s too much pain for my major depression. I’m being hated. I can’t live without love and happiness...I could turn into disappear...There’s no point in me staying alive...I lost my happiness and love! I don’t care about myself and I want to be in coma...! The forgotten Ruki unloved...*sobs* I still love Vanessa and Rin and EvaMissTopia and Mei too....All I want is make Mei happily...I gave her birthday gifts to her... I want to be forgiven, trying my hardest to apologize her many times last year until lost all of my emotion...my sparkle eyes...my eyes became pupil there’s no sparkles... I know there’s caring about me...it was Rin and Shigami, Bill and Vanessa too...I thought Shigami opened up to saying hi to me, and still concerned for me... I don’t know what to say but it’s impossible for me unable to answer them....I couldn’t answer I’m afraid...I kept hiding myself without knowing what happen to me. I could finish all of my drawing list last and I can’t continue to staying alive...I’m major depressed. All I need to be treatment to staying hospital for become in coma...because of my depression but I begun to hate myself as bitch and obsessed. I prefer my existence will be no longer in this worlds. I started to hurt myself that because of my depressed. All of my weakness, Rejected, Alone, Hurt, Last Chance, Losing Friends, Replaced, Abandon, Heart-Broken Shatter, Blocked, Bitch, Loneliness, Betrayed, Hated....that hurts me so much...you don’t know how much I had go through...it’s so much having hard times my life being depressed last year. I started to hate myself since I got kicked out of my precious memories from Tales of Cafè group chat. I did hurt myself for my sin atone...I tried to wanting to be loved, like a friend caring for me....But I keep loving Vanessa and Rin, Eva and Mei forever and ever. I sacrifice myself for loving Vanessa, Rin, Eva and Mei...My depression much worse...I want to die...I can’t live....