“You’re Not The Midwest, You’re A Man”

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

we need more fat fitness instructors and I'm dead fucking serious

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

"i get a little bit genghis khan" was such a strange and delightful thing to say in a pop song

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget

fun fact about character development by the way. you can make them develop worse.

parasocialism is bad Unless its with me. i love you. yes You. Specifically

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

Can we please go back to putting summaries on the back of books?? Idc what Susan thought. I want to know what the book is about.

God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.