And a bonus post for you, I’m sorry.. I really tried to be ok with everything. But I know you won’t be alone and I’ll work on being ok alone but in a healthy way. It doesn’t matter in the end the little shit I have to say, I know what I need to do and you’ve been doing what you need to do. Like I said ultimately I blame myself for being hurt cause I knew the position I was in it just never fully solidified till now. You’re in love again and I’m glad you’re able to feel that especially after the fucked up shit I did. Maybe I’ll feel that again maybe I won’t but rn I don’t really care about that. I just want to be able to be able to say I’m happy. And unfortunately for everyone to be happy I have to leave but I appreciate everything this past half a decade. But you clearly moved on so I’ll leave us and these blogs in this past for good. I might not be able to delete it fully but I can delete the app from my phone and never use it again. Which is what I say but Idk man, I don’t know the future and I hate saying concrete shit. Idk nothing I write will fully convey what I feel and there’s no point cause you don’t feel what you do for me anymore. Idk. Point is, Thank you for the past few years, it’s been kinda traumatic and we’ve been through more than normal people should have and thats not something to take lightly. I appreciate you and what you’ve done for me this entire time cause I know I’m not easy to deal with at all. Just..Ik imma do everything possible to forget you and whatever happened this half a decade, but know that no matter what you’ve made a big stain in my soul so I can’t forget you guys completely. I’m just sorry I was such a fucker and ruined the one thing I didn’t wanna ruin for reasons I haven’t even come to terms with myself. Idk I’m a bad person at heart so this outcome doesn’t suprise me. But this way everyone is happy and I truly wish the best for you two. I’m sorry I was how I was and some part of me will always have a soft spot for you, so sorry if u get a random drunk texts months after not talking to you. I know how this shit works and I know we’ll never be as close as we were before, but you helped me through a lot of shit I couldn’t have gone through alone especially back then so thank you. Idk I’m bad with goodbyes and a week doesn’t feel like enough time to say everything. Idk. I’m sorry, I’m not going to say I love you because there’s no point in deliberating my feelings towards you and even if there was a hint of love there’s no point but you’ve been with me through more shit than anybody in this world has been through and I really appreciate you being in my life as long as you were. If you weren’t there I would’ve died and like even if I was upset because of you, you were there and I survived. Thank you, I’m sorry this is how we ended up and for all the drama most of this decade cause Ik it was fucked up from the shit I did, and I hope everybody can be happy in the way they deserve. I can’t ever really forget this time and I won’t/can’t but I’m here for you if you need me. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, hopefully if you see me again I’ll be a better person.
