and accepting that i'll always be changing

I have this fic idea bouncing around in my head of post-canon Maya realizing she's aromantic, and realizing that thinking she liked Lucas was a mix of 1. Feeling platonic attraction and 2. Everyone else assuming she liked him. (Ye old 'where does the platonic attraction go? That's right! The romantic attraction hole!'). Josh, as she said in Ski Lodge, was a fantasy (belonging with the Matthews in a permanent way + ye old arospec experience of 'who do I like? Uhhhhhhhh that person of the opposite gender seems unobjectionable let's go with that'). And then she has a lot of feelings because the whole triangle situation which dominated literal years in her friend group was like, unnecessary? And feelings about peer pressure + relationships + allonormativity in there. And also then feeling like she can't come out to her friends without that whole mess getting dragged into the conversation.

Hello!!!! This sounds like an amazing fic and I am begging you to send it to me if you write it!!! I've thought about writing arospec Maya a few times, too, but the thoughts never work when I try lmao. But everything you said makes sense!!! I have always seen the Josh thing as, like you and Maya said, a fantasy. I think that he was something she could never have and she knew it, and the amatonormativity of the world and also like middle school leading to aro people just kind of picking someone to "crush" on that they never really liked that way is a very common experience from what I've seen from other aromantics. (I had a bunch of friends who were obsessed with and attracted to anime characters, so I did this with a fictional anime character that I just thought was kinda cool, ofc lmao) . And like you said, him being part of the Matthews and how much she wanted to be a part of all of that makes it make even more sense. I don't think for a second that if something actually started between them (which would be disgusting because he is literally an adult, but whatever), she would actually feel right in that relationship.

I always struggle with the Lucas thing a little when thinking of aromantic Maya, because there was a time I liked them romantically, but I don't think that she was ever really into him in a romantic way when I think about it. She says herself that when she went on a date with him, it didn't fit. She says she "doesn't want a nice guy" but Idon't think that's the real issue here. and it makes perfect sense that everyone else thinking she liked him pushed her to assume she did too and not realize that wasn't what it was.