and accepting that i'll always be changing

i'm still taking commissions (gifsets, layouts, themes, psds, tutorials, etc), you can find all my resources here, my ko-fi shop here, and my giffing tutorials here.

if any of these help u out, pls consider helping me out? and if you don't need anything but would just like to help, i'll thank you forever. any amount, no matter how small, is extremely appreciated and makes a world of difference! thank you!

pp.me / kf

thanks to everyone who's helped so far, it genuinely means the world to me !! i am very very close to hitting my goal & i have a few bills due for my medications & some of the aftercare of the dental procedures i've been going through so if u guys could help me reach it before monday i would appreciate it so much!!! my commissions are still open, and any any any amount is of immense help, no matter how small! pls rb if u see this post? thank u guys sm <3

0/26

the only thing you could actually accuse him of is just being a bystander while it was happening, which, like, yeah he very much was lol. but also he had his own vessel to deal with (and although jake abel did describe their relationship as "hostile" at first, i do think all signs within the show itself point to michael still completely hiding adam from sight when in possession of his body. remember in 15x08 when lilith approached adam and referred to him as "michael" even though it was very much adam at the forefront of the body? or the fact that lucifer never once brought up adam in the show even though that would've been a great taunting point? there was a scene in a s11 production script of him bringing up adam, but it never actually happened in the show. So. Conclusions can be drawn) and, again, honestly probably just did not care about what was happening on That Side Of The Cage (dude literally just failed his entire life's mission because of sam, too). again: what other angels do with their vessels is Not His Problem. the only thing he was concerned about back then was making sure that HE was a good son and set a good example.

“I’m right here Val.”

“No you’re not…”

In a universe where Valerie finds out about Danny being half ghost but ends up mourning him instead. Finding out your ex boyfriend/friend died can’t be easy. Worst of all, you didn’t even notice.

They make your hands cold. They give you little asshole pucker wrinkles around your mouth. They kill you so fucking slow. Make it so your lungs hurt all the time. They make every cold a chest cold that takes months to go away. They suck your money out bit by bit, every day forever. Just be a little bit more poor forever until they kill you in fifty years. They kill you for fifty years. Just a little shorter of breath, just a little colder, heart beating a little too fast. And the longer you go, the harder it is to quit.

I have this fic idea bouncing around in my head of post-canon Maya realizing she's aromantic, and realizing that thinking she liked Lucas was a mix of 1. Feeling platonic attraction and 2. Everyone else assuming she liked him. (Ye old 'where does the platonic attraction go? That's right! The romantic attraction hole!'). Josh, as she said in Ski Lodge, was a fantasy (belonging with the Matthews in a permanent way + ye old arospec experience of 'who do I like? Uhhhhhhhh that person of the opposite gender seems unobjectionable let's go with that'). And then she has a lot of feelings because the whole triangle situation which dominated literal years in her friend group was like, unnecessary? And feelings about peer pressure + relationships + allonormativity in there. And also then feeling like she can't come out to her friends without that whole mess getting dragged into the conversation.

Hello!!!! This sounds like an amazing fic and I am begging you to send it to me if you write it!!! I've thought about writing arospec Maya a few times, too, but the thoughts never work when I try lmao. But everything you said makes sense!!! I have always seen the Josh thing as, like you and Maya said, a fantasy. I think that he was something she could never have and she knew it, and the amatonormativity of the world and also like middle school leading to aro people just kind of picking someone to "crush" on that they never really liked that way is a very common experience from what I've seen from other aromantics. (I had a bunch of friends who were obsessed with and attracted to anime characters, so I did this with a fictional anime character that I just thought was kinda cool, ofc lmao) . And like you said, him being part of the Matthews and how much she wanted to be a part of all of that makes it make even more sense. I don't think for a second that if something actually started between them (which would be disgusting because he is literally an adult, but whatever), she would actually feel right in that relationship.

I always struggle with the Lucas thing a little when thinking of aromantic Maya, because there was a time I liked them romantically, but I don't think that she was ever really into him in a romantic way when I think about it. She says herself that when she went on a date with him, it didn't fit. She says she "doesn't want a nice guy" but Idon't think that's the real issue here. and it makes perfect sense that everyone else thinking she liked him pushed her to assume she did too and not realize that wasn't what it was.

She also has the lines "I don't know what I like anymore." and "I need to know who I am before I know what I like." in True Maya, and while I don't think that the writers actually intended that to sound queer as hell...it sounds queer as hell.

You're completely right, those lines have always felt SO queer to me too. Like literally she says "WHAT" i like, not who and i think that makes is way more queer sounding.

@whumpgifathon day 13: injury