Away With The Fairies

I feel like this isn’t my life. This isn’t supposed to be my life. I always feel like I’m on borrowed time; an imposter on the verge of being found out. Why can’t I just be happy? I just exist in this weird void, aimlessly floating from one experience to the next. I build sandcastles and then have an overwhelming urge to knock them down. A needle stuck on the same groove of an old record. Maybe it comes from being a sentient meat-sack insignificantly whirling around in the infinite nothingness. The smallest blip in the fabric of eternity. You know? I don’t know.

I Am So In Love ☺️❤️

I feel like I keep having 'new starts' and they very quickly turn to shit. 9 months ago I was moving to a city I loved, with my dream job. Fast forward to now and again I find myself in the position of desperately trying to scramble for somewhere else to work, due to an early case of burn-out from shitty management, daily abuse and literal death threats. I live with a genuine psychopath who I'm 99.9% sure is a prostitute who uses my home as her place of work, and I'm feeling trapped again. In September I'm moving in with my love ❤️ but we still need to actually find somewhere and I'm worried the move is going to take priority over me finding a new job. At first I considered the fact that maybe I just self-destruct if things get too cosy, but my other housemate jumped for joy when I suggested terminating this tenancy early due to her absolute hatred of the aforementioned psychopath, and my colleagues at work are so stressed and miserable that one is in the midst of a genuine mental breakdown and the other is losing her hair in clumps (rewind to memories of myself, circa 2013). I guess another 'new start' is just literally on the horizon. The thing with this one though is that I honestly have no idea what to expect. Where do I see myself in 2-5 months time?? The honest answer - fuck knows. 😂

With my weird shift patterns, I can always count on my best friend to get drunk with me on a Sunday (even when he has to get up Monday morning). What a babe 🍾💕 (at Brighton Centre)