Reds

Thinking about Lancelot removing the strands of hair from Guinevere’s comb and sniffing them. He’s a major league freak and I love that about him.

Sir Lancelot has an effect on women that I can only describe as being akin to the effect that the Beatles had on women and girls in the mid-1960s. Female characters see him and begin screaming and fainting and pissing themselves and ravenously tearing his clothes off his body.

When I started actually reading the foundational Arthurian legends, I realized I did not hate the Guinevere and Lancelot romance, I actually love it. The problem is that modern retelling are afraid to have it be the toxic femdom BDSM freaky extremely sexual long term knight sidepiece thing it is supposed to be. He should be crawling on the ground for it and she should be kicking dirt on him.

Breaking several of his fingers bending the bars on the window of the room she was imprisonment in, having sex with her, leaving blood from his wounds all over her sheets and then crawling out of the window again. If he wanted to, he would.

I love how the Lady of the Lake did NOT want Lancelot to become a knight or leave the lake but she kitted him out in white armor and gave him a bunch of magical artifacts and brought him to Camelot because that was what he wanted. Björk listener mother, emo jock son.

When I started actually reading the foundational Arthurian legends, I realized I did not hate the Guinevere and Lancelot romance, I actually love it. The problem is that modern retelling are afraid to have it be the toxic femdom BDSM freaky extremely sexual long term knight sidepiece thing it is supposed to be. He should be crawling on the ground for it and she should be kicking dirt on him.

you’re either fucking with me or fucking against me

A sword is the perfect gender neutral gift.