please be quiet, hope is noisy

shoutout to the person who tagged this "#geronimo stilton" for living their truth in a way most of us could never find the courage to

person who genuinely hates themselves so much they can barely look anyone in the eye: i must remain humble lest my hideous ego spiral out of control

see the premise of "if you struggle brushing your teeth, just do it in the shower" relying on logic of "you might struggle with teeth but surely you shower every day right? right...?" is just so hilariously wrong it's asinine that it's one of the most popular such advice

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

sneezes really hard and an egg shoots out of me while punching a hole clean through my panties and jeans, ricochets off the ground and re-enters me perfectly