God's Favorite Mutt

if you use potholders how will you ever build up the calluses necessary to pick up scalding hot metal without burning yourself so severely? it’s like you’re not even trying to get better

I mean, my mother uses potholders, but she’s in her 70s. You’re just… too YOUNG to be resorting to potholders at your age.

If you start using potholders, your inability to hold hot metal will only get worse.

As a professional cook I was, and still am, able to pick most stuff up out of an oven without a pot holder. I might get blisters and maybe it will hurt, but usually it won’t

"Testosterone will make you gain weight" GOOD. Fuckin' tired of looking at your twink ass. Eat that entire pizza or I'm kicking your teeth in. Just let that ravenous, base desire consume you.

coworker who doesn’t care that you’re trans. coworker who complements your new haircut with a ‘tight fade, bro!’ coworker who takes you to sports bars and buys you too many beers so that it’s not as awkward when you hug chest to chest as your team wins. coworker who takes you to play sports with the other guys, hard contact sports like rugby and football and wrestling, just so he can knock you to the ground and feel his weight on top of you. coworker who rolls you a blunt in his backyard and lights it while it hangs from your lips. coworker who shotguns smoke into your mouth after you tap out of the rotation because ‘c’mon big guy, a little more won’t kill you!’ coworker who invites you camping to ‘toughen you up!’ and ends up fucking you hard, facedown, in the dirt, leaves, and twigs before dragging you back into the tent to give you a proper blowjob because ‘all men wanna get their dick sucked, bro. it feels amazing, i’ll show you!’

sorry i turned your shy, innocent daughter into a rowdy and unashamedly horny man. yeah he's so much happier now. yeahhh sorry it's permanent too. might do it again tomorrow

i hav so many cool hobbies! like jerking off. and sleeping. and crying