Walk Around My Mind

I miss this. I miss having a space where I can feel like I can put my thoughts into the world and not feel like people I know are taking it as “me dropping a hint”. I used to use my tumblr as a visual journal where other people could describe what I was feeling whereas I couldn’t do that myself. (I still can’t.) But when I started being someone’s girlfriend for the first time in my life, I ended up abandoning this. And now after 2 years I realised it was because I had feelings I wanted to hide from this person. (Insecurities and many shit in the way.) I lost track of what I posted on purpose and what was posted automatic (I had an organising system where I would put posts I felt really important in the autopost with a really long future date - because I like so many posts) and with time I found my tumblr posting things automatically and it wasn’t reflecting my journaling feeling system anymore. But, I lost track of that. And I won’t delete anything. I’ll just start fresh from now.