::: mEntal__torpOr :::

02. REUNION ( * @narcotiqs ;  미소를 잃지마라요 ! 사랑해. )

What Chanyeol had done was rather risky, taking into account that the specific night was supposed to be reserved purely for rehearsals; they were less than a week away from delving into the second leg of their tour, and even just a single session missed could amount to big consequences. But, the fact of the matter is, he’s Chanyeol. He would risk anything for his friends, even if it meant getting into trouble. And that, my friends, is exactly, was what he did, on a cold Monday night. The young rapper had left the dorms before rehearsals could even begin: he took off on his bike, clad in his usual multiple layers of clothing, carrying nothing but his backpack which contained a plethora of hand-picked souvenirs from Hong Kong and Japan. He was almost certain he wouldn’t get noticed, but only a few blocks away from establishment and he was already being chased by fans with huge, expensive cameras. To his luck, the deafening commotion was drowned out by his helmet - yet he still somewhat feared for himself as his chosen mode of transportation only allowed him minimal protection from the environment. He was panicking. Switching lanes seemed to be the best option for him, until he opted to speed up, and completely veer away from the busy streets. It took him years, but he safely arrived to his destination. It wasn’t an easy task, no; it wasn’t the first time, either. In fact, he was so painfully used to that type of scenario, but despite it all, he would still feel a sense of panic. But he was there now – he was outside his friend’s place, parking his motorcycle, remaining seated. He decided to send a text, hoping to calm himself down before making a grand entrance.

[ 19:24 → 내 카이 ☕️ ] Rapuzel rapunzel!! Let down your hair!!!

There was no need for Kai to be at a wedding that he has planned himself when he knew everything will go according to plan. Especially because he knew the people he hires would get shit done. He had that much confidence in them but coincidentally and incidentally so, at the end of planning every damn wedding, he gets an invite either to his mail or email or text ( how formal, right? ) It’s unnecessary he thinks most of the time and it is natural for him to deny the invite. 

But his kind nature defeats him and he ends up paying a visit, thinking he might as well see how everything he planned has worked out perfectly. And so, here he is exiting out of his small red Kia. The hired chauffeur parks his car somewhere as he enters the venue, everything is going well it seems and he’s right on time. 

The couple is cutting the cake, he’s spotted by the groom whom waves him over and Kai ever so shyly walks up to the stage. Head lowered out of respect and catching all of the crowd looking at him or was it the couple? Firstly, he’s introduced very formally and by this, he’s amused because he has shared a few laughs with both the bride and the groom. But he understands why he can not be anything else but this. A guy who made their happiest day possible. It’s a gift he’s told quite often to be able to come up with something so quickly but he doesn’t think of it too much. 

And as all things should go on so does the event right after everyone in the crowd acknowledges his existence, having to deliver a speech as well and so he does; short and sweet. After this he no longer feels like he has to stay, he’s done his part. Now the car keys are handed over to him, car ready to go, he drives away straight to his home. Upon arrival, he gets rid of the blazer, vest and tie first and falls back on the bed. And of all thoughts in his head, only one comes to mind that he’s craving pizza. It isn’t the healthiest choice at this hour but somehow he’s already ordered himself one, now he waits.

Ping! It’s his phone, he could’ve sworn he put it on silent, whomever this is better be someone that’s worth him getting up and checking. And he’s read the contact name, puzzled because of the time and also the text. What did Chanyeol mean? In context, the text means seeing who’s at the window. But he’s not convinced that the elder is there or could he be? Curious, Kai opens the window and looks down.. and down. Chanyeol is there although tiny but there. He waves hesitantly because he’s still puzzled and texts with his left. 

one’s priorities changes when the nature of their work is saving lives. you’re programmed to start the day thinking that you have to be at the hospital, doing rounds or at school, listening to three hour lectures regarding bodily functions. now even if that sounds awfully exhausting and mundane, complaining about it will do nothing but waste your time. so instead, you just suck it up and proceed with your day. but if you’re lucky enough, during those moments of setting aside your own interests and needs, something nice will come along. 

a workaholic like sueji has little to no regard of things that doesn’t concern her studies. as much as she disliked disappointing people, most invitations to dates and parties are turned down, leaving her guilty for the most part but with a lot of time in her hands to excel in her field of work. such sacrifices must be made in order to be the best. yet that doesn’t mean that she’s completely stripped off of compassion. she’s still a girl inside that shell of a woman and loneliness occasionally knocks on the door to greet her with its melancholy. 

so she finds something, anything, to keep her company. much like the cigarette that’s delicately held in between her fingers. with a gentle tap against the ash tray, ridding its end off the ashes, the lady then brings it to her cherry red lips for a drag only to be interrupted by a message notification coming from the phone inside her pocket — whoever it is should have a good reason for breaking the almost peaceful state that she’s in.

but instead of a cross expression, her once blank face is overcome with one that depicts amusement. perhaps it’s her lucky day; the message seemed to be the ‘something nice’ that made her evening less humdrum. 

‘do I need to pay you to text me back?’

( sms: romeo ) haven’t checked my phone in days, my apologies. ( sms ) although, if you’re really going to pay me then why not? ( sms ) then again, money cannot buy happiness, so no thank you. ( sms ) but anyway… iwas studying for an exam for the past two days and i just got out of a 12 hour shift - i got to see a beating heart today, you know? ( sms ) but sadly, only a glimpse… ( sms ) i’m glad that you found the rose lovely. you’re welcome and i hope you’re doing alright.

The blacks and whites that surround his apartment mix well along with the orange and fresh citrus notes that touch his nose as soon as he enters. Nothing beats this, coming home and feeling so welcomed especially after doing so much in a day. 

Nothing gets better than this...

The Rose is still so pretty, he’s been changing the water every day, the scent is still there although a bit faint. He hums singsongingly, a tune that he’s not familiar with, walking around and finally settling on the couch to watch a bit of TV, eyes drooping and just happens to fall into a state of slumber. 

His eyes finally open to find that it is now the next day. The wall clock reads nine am. Heart pounding, he’s quick to get up and get ready, how many appointments he’s missed by now will take a toll on his day. He’ll be stressed all day, trying to get those clients back, apologize and try to book them again. The strain he feels in his head is already peaking, he hates his anxiety to do everything perfectly, he hates his body for being so imperfect. 

Today will be bad and he knows it. 

It’s only when evening time arrives again, the loneliness sets in when he’s not surrounded by a body. Kai sighs, loudly even but he’s not in a place anyone can notice and hence he’s busy playing on his phone while the traffic light goes red. He’s been waiting for one response in particular even though the text could be ignored because it wasn’t much, but his fingers move themselves to text again, days after the last one he sent, feeling quite irritated. 

How can she be busier than him? He’s sure he sounded serious. The reply he receives is fast and it almost makes him laugh but he doesn’t. Unfortunately, he has to drive, right when he reaches his friend's house, he parks and gets out with his phone, texting back on the way.

“I don’t make good citizens do anything.  I make bad citizens behave.” Suwon would have been offended that the other man didn’t turn to face him, but he was used to people trying to ignore his presence.  Somehow, people seemed to feel that if they ignored the police, they would go away.  That wasn’t the case.  They weren’t like creatures that only saw movement.  No.  They saw everything, or mostly everything.  If Suwon had seen the other’s face, he would have noticed the face of utter disgust and annoyance; instead, he only realized the other was less than amused when he came to stand almost shoulder to shoulder with him.

“Is it really worth it?”  he motioned to the red man, the numbers showing up to countdown to white.  “Only 25 more seconds to go.  You’ve got this.  You can hold out.  I can feel it.  You’re a strong one.  You won’t fold.  You’ll prove how resilient you are by ..oh, see? 15 seconds to go.  You’ll be the champion and uphold the law.  I can feel it.”

It’s funny, the male actually thought he’s a bad person. 

He’s committed no crime nor sinned in his life other than looking at porn which is completely natural. Kai’s a pretty clean kid and yet the other seems to insist him into doing something he wouldn’t even do, even if he was being watched by the C.I.A. “Dude, are you okay? You sound weird.” Is this his thing to bother people and say things like that? Is this normal? Kai’s pondering all sorts of questions right now and yet he’s still focused on the errands he needs to run. He is in no hurry, the only hurry he has now is to get away from the elder.  

“Tech-savvy? Of course, I am!” Kai says after being asked if he knew how to use a camera, laughing under his breath, he watched Alex do his thing in front of the camera. Honestly, he was getting tired of coming here and seeing Alex always either editing the new video he just shot or catching him doing a video. When will he get the time to spend with him? Not like he’s ever insisted of course this is all in his head. But when you see the same thing all the time, it gets kind of tiring. 

He’s aimlessly walking around the small space, waiting for Alex to be done but his patience is wearing thin. Chewing on a sandwich obnoxiously right in front of Alex, looking down at his face, the chewing only gets louder and finally, Alex looks up. Kai grins.

The period of time between the sunset and the sunrise is when he was most productive. And seeing him now just leaving the grocery store with a couple of bags in hand, he looks up to spot any stars. But the skies in Seoul are either always clouded or the light pollution makes the bright stars look so faint, it always disappoints him. He misses the stars back at home they always shone so brightly and endlessly until the Sun said, Hello. 

Kai sighs a little while he walks, the footsteps behind him seems way too near and seems to be following him down every street he went. He doesn’t live too far away now but he starts to feel a bit afraid. It isn’t like he can’t handle a stalker or land a punch it’s just the general anxiety of being alone right now, who knows who the person is? He takes a shallow breath and dramatically turns to face the male, eyes immediately on theirs. 

For every ∯ I get I will say/confess something without specifying for whom it is meant

For every ∯ I get I will say/confess something without specifying for whom it is meant

∯ Did you feel better leaving your heart with me,and taking your mind with you?