mika

♡ 16 | it/she/he | 👾 ─୨୧ : "slow down the feelings, i’m too attached,,! ✦

rain

roses

failed once more, failed again to say what was on my mind in that moment. i guess it’s not much of a surprise considering it would be more beneficial for me to never mention the past two days, the only two days in a long time when i haven’t picked up the blade, have been hell on earth. the thoughts consume my every waking moment and have begun to follow me into my dreams. i try so insanely hard to always be positive but it’s really difficult when you want to tear your body apart nearly every second you’re alive, ya know. i’m happy everyone is still here, seeing everyone have fun without me feels simultaneously so happy but god it feels like a spear right through my heart too. in a way, that’s the way it has always been and that’s the way it always will be. i feel i’m fated to never truly be happy. my arms are still barely healing and the scars on my thighs are deep and very visible.