that boy is corrupt,

❝ if you wanna learn, for self-defence, i'll teach you, ❞ beau promises. not tonight, and not because he loves fighting, but he will. he hopes, desperately, that it's not something ella will ever need. he'll fight for her, he'll bloody his fists, before he ever lets anything get to that point—but he hopes, too, that that is never necessary. he's not a fighter on the ice, most of the time, nothing more than cleanly hitting someone into the boards, but there are times he's dropped gloves, times the cap on the anger he bottles up is knocked off and he explodes. in day to day life, he's even less of one. beau doesn't want to hurt anybody. at least not unprovoked.

but he'd do it for her in a heartbeat.

❝ mm, i know. you told me. ❞ god, he loves her. he loves her so much. it's so easy to kiss her back, to let his fingers tangle in her hair, to press lips to her forehead. he wants this forever, this closeness. beau had always thought he preferred being alone, that it didn't matter that he'd not had a relationship in a long time; he loves his friends, loves being around people, but he values his space and being able to retreat to the quiet. but ella is different; she brings him out of his shell when he needs it, and is a gentle cushion in the quiet he needs to recharge. her presence is always easy. even when she's drunk.

beau chuckles, shaking his head. ❝ nope. now, 'cause i reckon you'll be asleep the second you lie down. c'mon, sweetheart. ❞ he kisses her forehead and steps back so he can pick up her dress, shaking it out and folding it over a chair to be dealt with properly tomorrow. at least it won't be crumpled. while he waits he starts undressing himself, unbuttoning his shirt with fingers that only fumble a little, placing it with her dress. ❝ you good? ❞

of course he would. of course he would! a part of ella thinks there may be no limit to the amount of things that beau would do for her if she asked, and it took her a long time to get used to it. he has the biggest heart of anyone she has ever met, and the genuine support in his voice tells ella everything she needs to know; even if it is the wine talking. teeth sink into her bottom lip for a moment, as though pondering over the offer. perhaps it would be good for her to learn a bit of self defense from someone more apt to it than she is, but there’s another part of ella that worries it would bring up too much of her past with it. instead, she manages a smile and a quick nod, “ i’ll think about it. “

ella takes another large drink from her glass of water, a smile quickly forming on her lips. “ and i’ll tell you a million times if I have to. you are the most beautiful man i have ever laid eyes upon, beau rafferty. ” her feet stumble a bit as she tries to shift her weight, but a hand catches her quickly on the counter top. maybe he’s right, as much as her altered brain might tell her otherwise, she should finish the water before going to bed.

ella tremaine -- an international student at briar university from switzerland studying social work. she is on a work-study visa and works full time in the campus bookstore when she isn't attending class. her bubbly and outgoing personality hardly overshadow her kindness and emapthy for others around her. she is the president of several clubs around campus, including a nature conservation club and also acts as a liason for the international students office because of her fluency in several languages. parties are not her favorite thing, but she has been dragged by her brother (@tremaynes) to a few of them to help get her out of their house and the bookstore for a while. they are the ultimate karaoke duo.

margot tilley -- a psychology major at briar university and the star forward for the women's hockey team. she's gained the reputation of "hockey barbie" because of her dyed blonde hair and always having her hair and nails done. don't let it fool you, she is absolutely relentless on the ice. her older brother matthew plays in the NHL for the seattle kraken and margot has aspirations for the exact same thing. her studies are the last thing on her mind because, for her, it's PWHL or bust.

give that to me! where did you find this?!

do you drink coffee or tea?

sorry– am i crazy, or have we met before?

do you trust me enough to close your eyes?

when were you planning on telling me?

at the risk of being a cliché, do you want to get out of here?

can i convince you to stay the night?

do i look like someone who knows what that means?

would you consider giving me a second chance?

do you really think that's helpful right now?

would you mind showing me around?

do you ever plan on forgiving yourself?

are you thinking what i'm thinking?

can we ... go out and do something crazy?

why are we whispering?

who exactly are you, anyways?

can't we just be civil for a minute?

does the past ever keep you up at night?

if you have nothing to hide, what's the problem?

how long has it been since i saw you last, [ name ]?

did the power just go out?

are we still doing the thing where we pretend not to care?

how should we celebrate?

can we just ... start over?

why is this so important to you?

how was i supposed to know that?!

do you want me to stay? it doesn't have to mean anything.

where are you? nobody's heard from you.

can you help me zip this up?

why do these things always happen to me?

you don't secretly hate me, right?

can i get you something to eat? –or drink?

ready to see what i've been working on?

where have you been disappearing off to?

what's that perfume you're wearing?

you're laughing?! do you really think this is funny?

are you planning to stay for dinner?

did you think it was going to be easy?

you see where you went wrong, don't you?

when did we become so cold and distant?

who are you working for?

did you really do all of this for me?

can i open my eyes yet?

haven't you heard the stories?

[ name ], what are you doing here?

what's it gonna take for you to trust me?

do you believe people can change?

how about we catch the ten o'clock showing?

don't you remember what happened last time?

why is it so unbelievable that i'd want to help you?

you're [ name ], aren't you?

who did this to you?!

how did you know i'd be here?

what's that supposed to mean?

do you think i'm irredeemable?

what kind of mess have you gotten us into?!

do you see anything you like?

what do i owe you for the food?

why won't this stupid thing work?!

does tonight really have to end?

holy shit. can you believe we really pulled that off?!

i can tell you're upset, [ name ]. what happened?

how long have you been standing there?

do you ever wish you could just ... run away?

haven't we been here before?

wait, shush ... did you hear that?

did i miss today's newsletter or something?

can we put our differences aside for a second?

what are you getting out of this, exactly?

you'd tell me if something was wrong, right?

are you willing to bet on it?

would you kill for me?

what made you think that was okay?!

do you believe people can change?

what's the worst thing you've ever done?

you were going to leave without saying goodbye?

[ name ], can you sit up for me?

can i kiss you?

where are your keys? you're not driving like this.

how's life been treating you?

where have you been?!

aren't we supposed to be alone tonight?

aw, has someone had a little too much to drink?

where are you going with this?

are we really doing this right now?

have you eaten today?

can i crash here for the night?

how did you learn to lie so well?

can i at least buy you a drink?

where should i meet you?

is that  ...  blood?!

are you trying to make me jealous right now?

what’s your problem? you're acting weird.

[ name ], you're ... real, right?

where’s your sense of adventure?

do you like horror movies?

what are you trying to prove?

can you give me a ride?

do you have any idea what you've done?

shouldn't you answer that?

why should i be the one to calm down?

have you been up all night?

why are you lying to me?

is that my [ jacket / hoodie / shirt ]?

what are you so afraid of?

do you want to grow old with me?

you’re gonna walk away from this?

are you nervous? your hands are shaking.

where am i supposed to go?

how many fingers am i holding up?

you want me to just walk away from this?

[ name ], slow down– what's wrong?!

are you embarrassed of me?

what's that smell? something's burning.

how can i make it up to you?

why can't you stay out of it?

is this some kind of trick?

come on, what do you have to lose?

do you ever still think of me?

idiot. why didn't you tell me?!

can we stop and think about this rationally?

how long has it been since you’ve slept?

what's your ideal first date?

are you ready to tell me the truth?

i almost died, and you're laughing?

what do you mean, "sort of"?

can we just stay like this forever?

when can i see you again?

can we put this behind us?

oh ... you thought of me first?

where did you learn to do that?

oh my god,  are you bleeding?!

where are you?  nobody’s heard from you.

[ name ], are you drunk?

how can i make this go away?

someone's jumpy today. are you feeling okay?

are we safe here?

what can i do to convince you?

what could possibly go wrong?

you have no idea who i am, do you?

how do you really feel about me?

why can't you look me in the eyes?

did you know you talk in your sleep?

were you following me?

can we just pretend this never happened?

are you just barely getting home?

are you even listening to me right now?!

where does it hurt?  can you show me?

are you trying to get yourself killed?!

how about we just forget the world exists?

how long have you been keeping this from me?

were you ever going to tell me?

what do you make of this?

[ name ],  what the hell?!

can we just be honest with each other, here?

are you trying to keep me a secret?

why does your story keep changing?

how long have you known?

it can't be that bad, right?

are you happy? i mean, really happy?

isn't this place amazing?

did i interrupt something?

how am i supposed to trust you?

are they still following us?

are you fucking serious?

do you remember our first kiss?

can we take a break for a minute?

how about we disappear for awhile?

you're going to walk away from this?

can you please just cut the crap?!

why didn't you tell me you were hurt?

how can i make this go away?

can you just look at me, please?

is there anything i can do to change your mind?

do you ever stop talking?

that depends. are you done lying to me?

are you sure this is legal?

how do you take your coffee?

can you keep your voice down?

The study session was your idea. You haven't opened your book once.

I know what people say about me. I'm asking what you think.

You're the only person on this campus who treats me like I'm more than my jersey number.

We said no feelings. I think I'm really bad at rules.

You left your hoodie at my place three weeks ago. I've been sleeping in it. Don't make it weird.

Practice ran late. I know. I'm sorry. Please don't be asleep yet.

The whole team thinks we're together. When were you going to tell me you didn't correct them?

I don't bring people to my games. I got you a ticket. Show up.

You tutored me all semester. The least I can do is take you to dinner. A real one.

I've kissed a lot of girls at this school. I keep thinking about the one I haven't.

Tell me again why this is such a bad idea.

That thing you said after the game. Did you mean it or were you just caught up in the moment?

I asked around about you before I talked to you. I'm not embarrassed about that.

I've never had someone wait up for me before. I didn't know what to do with it so I panicked.

Everyone on the team knows I'm gone for you. I'm the last one to say it out loud.

Stop apologizing for taking up space in my life. I made room on purpose.

I told coach I was injured. I'm not injured. I just needed to see you. 

You came to the away game. You hate away games.

I'm not good at this. I'm good at hockey and not much else. But I want to try. For you.

The girl I was pretending to date is the only one I actually want. Life is funny like that.

Draft day is coming and I'm more scared of losing you than losing my shot.

I've been in love with you since the library. Third floor. Two years ago. You had headphones in.

Don't let me sign that contract without knowing if you'd come with me.

You're the smartest person in any room you walk into. I don't know why you're in mine.

The bet was stupid and I knew it was stupid and I did it anyway because it meant spending time with you.

You deserve someone who shows up. I'm working on being that person. Just don't give up on me yet.

My teammates are idiots but they're not wrong about this one.

I've never been nervous before a game. I'm nervous right now and the game isn't for six hours.

You said you didn't want anything serious. I've been trying to be okay with that. I'm not okay with it.

I graduate in May. So do you. I don't want the thing between us to fizzle out. 

I know you're not mine. I also know I'd do anything to change that.

The whole campus is at that party. I'd rather be here. With you. On your couch. Watching whatever you want.

You looked at me different after the game last week. Why?

Tell me what you want. Not what you think I can handle. What you actually want.

I've been the fun one, the easy one, the no-strings one. I don't want to be that with you.

You're the only reason I made it through finals week. I'm not sure you know that.

I don't do mornings. I did this morning. I'd do every morning. That terrifies me.

The long distance thing scares me. You scare me. I'm choosing scared.

I'm not asking you to wait. I'm asking you to want to.

It stopped being fake somewhere around week two. I just didn't know how to tell you.

WARNINGS: alcohol

no,  i'm  not  hitting  on  you.  unless  it's  working.

you're  not  doing  karaoke  again.

why  are  there  fries  in  your  purse?

what's  the  strongest  drink  on  the  menu?

no,  i  don't  remember  your  name.

you  come  here  often?

what's  your  star  sign?

if  you  tell  anyone  what  i'm  about  to  say,  i'll  key  your  car.

it's  last  call.  get  a  drink  or  go  home.

they  just  tipped  with  monopoly  money.

i  think  i'm  in  love...

i'm  saving  this  story  for  your  future  wedding  toast.

i'm  your  wingperson  tonight,  give  me  the  target.

you're  not  from  around  here,  are  you?

i'm  your  best  friend,  not  your  conscience.

say  that  again  and  i  will  make  a  scene.

you're  my  bestie  now,  i  don't  care  that  we  met  30  seconds  ago.

i'd  buy  you  a  drink  but  i'd  rather  make  you  breakfast.

this  one's  on  my  tab.

is  that  a  fake  id?

i  swear  i  only  had  two  drinks...

this  is  a  judgement  free  zone.

they  said  they were working  late... 

let's  play  pool.  if  i  win,  you  owe  me  a  real  conversation.

if  i  tip  you  $20,  will  you  say  i  was  never  here?

that  was  supposed  to  impress  them...

it's  not  a  fake,  it's  retro!

don't  test  me,  i'm  not  drunk  enough  to  forgive  you.

can  you  lie  and  say  i'm  not  allowed  tequila  anymore?

give  me  your  phone.

if  you  want  a  mojito,  you  can  muddle  the  mint.

i  don't  think  that's  your  real  name.

make  me  something  dangerous  and  don't  ask  questions.

you're  cut  off.

you  cannot  cry  on  a  stranger's  shoulder!

can  you  get  me  something  non-alcoholic?  i'm  designated  driver.

no,  i  don't  want  to  join  the  conga  line.

if  i  ask  for  a  double,  will  you  pretend  i'm  not  spiraling?

you  always  ruin  nights  like  this!

okay  but  technically,  i'm  turning  [18/21]  this  year.

i'm  not  your  therapist.  that'll  be  $14.

no,  you  don't  need  to  text  them,  that's  why  i  took  your  phone.

tell  him  i'm  your  sister  or  something.

you  ever  seen  somebody  ruin  their  own  life  in  5  minutes?  watch  this.

you  can  throw  up  now  or  in  my  car.

if  i  were  a  drink,  i'd  be  the  one  you  remember  tomorrow.

we  said  no  shots,  why  are  there  shots?!

promise  you  won't  hate  me  tomorrow?

let's  go  somewhere  quieter.

we  always  do  this.  drink,  flirt,  run...

i  don't  want  tonight  to  end.

can  we  get  pizza  after  this?

do  you  want  to  dance?  i  won't  step  on  your  feet.

don't  climb  on  the  table!

i  am  not  your  lawyer.

why  are  you  laughing  and  texting?!