A Nerd Supreme

Being in front of the camera can be scary. Frankly, it’s unnatural to have a device shoved in your face that can create a version of you in a flash. That kind of experience is only typical for celebrities and politicians and many of them don’t like the experience either. The difference is that they’ve had tons of practice at looking a certain way when they know their image is about to be captured.

You may not be a celebrity, but you would probably love to have an image of yourself that you love. So, here’s a simple exercise that can help you get more comfortable in front of the camera:

If you Loved your IMAGE, who would you share it with?

Almost no one shares images of themselves that they hate. But chances are, if you loved a photograph of yourself, there’s at least one person you’d want to share that image with. Maybe this person is your best friend, spouse, sibling, crush, or even an ex you want to make jealous. Whomever it is, when you take your next photograph, picture that person and then...

Act like that person is standing where the camera is.

If the person you’d share your portrait with was your best friend, it’s unlikely that you’d look uncomfortable in front of them. In fact, your body language might become more relaxed, your smile might become fuller, and your personality might show up more at the thought of that person.

Picturing the person you love turns out to be really easy for weddings and couples sessions because the person is usually standing right there looking at you with love and adoration. This is part of why first looks can be so powerful on a wedding day. This also works for posed portraits, such as the image on the left.

In my clinical work, I’ve seen the many ways that grief and loss affect important milestones. It lingers in the laughs you can no longer hear, in the smiles you can no longer see, and even in the arguments you can no longer have. Most people readily think about grief due to the deaths of loved ones, but grief can also come from strained relationships. This is particularly true for members of the LGBTQ+ community whose birth families may not be accepting of identities.

This kind of absence has most palpably felt during the preparation for and celebration of a wedding. The mix of joy and sorrow can be overwhelming as you navigate the complexities of celebrating love while mourning the absence of a loved one. Here are some strategies to help you cope with grief on your wedding day:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

In the best-selling novel The Fault In Our Stars, John Green has this very pithy saying, “Pain demands to be felt.” Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise. It's okay to grieve even amidst celebrations. Recognizing and accepting your feelings can help you process them in a healthy way. It can sometimes sneak up on you in unexpected ways, even if you've done a lot of processing already. If you’re grieving someone on your wedding day, it helps to think of grief as a sign of your heart’s capacity for loving someone. for some, that may be a gift in itself.

2. Create Remembrance

It's important to create space for your grief, both emotionally and physically, if possible. Incorporating tributes throughout the wedding to honor and remember your loved one. This could be setting aside a seat, wearing something of theirs, or playing their favorite song. These gestures can help you feel their presence. In the very first wedding ever shop professional, the bride’s mother passed away. The couple chose to honor her with a small candle display next to the lounge area of the venue. I thought it was the sweetest thing, and it has stuck with me ever since.

3. Lean on Support

Surround yourself with understanding family and friends who can provide comfort and support. Having someone to talk to or lean on during emotional moments can make a significant difference. Family isn't made but blood alone. It can also be made by the space people occupying your heart. The holes that grief leaves don't feel quite so big when you've got a support network around you.

4. Take Breaks

Give yourself permission to take breaks if you feel overwhelmed. Stepping away for a moment of solitude can help you recalibrate and center yourself amidst the festivities. Honestly, taking breaks is so important and often overlooked in wedding days. Irrespective of whether or not someone is grieving, planning breaks into the day is something that I always recommend for the couples that I work with.

5. Seek Professional Help

If you find the weight of grief too heavy to bear, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor. Professional support can offer you coping mechanisms and strategies to navigate your emotions. These days, there are tons of services and resources online to help you get started. One option that I usually recommend for my patients is Psychology Today (not sponsored). You can filter search results based on a number of factors, such as insurance networks, the availability of remote options, etc.

6. Embrace Moments of Joy

Allow yourself to experience moments of joy and happiness during your wedding. It's okay to laugh, smile, and celebrate love amidst the sadness. Most people would want you to be happy even if they're not there to celebrate with you. Finding a balance between grief and joy is key to honoring all your emotions.

8. Reflect and Remember

After the wedding, take time to reflect on your experience. Journaling, creating a memory box, or visiting a special place can help you continue to process your feelings and cherish the memories made on your wedding day.

Choosing your photographer is probably the hardest decision; next is deciding how you want to display your images. It’s great when you’re sure what you want, but some folks don’t know what they want. Whenever I work with a client who is not quite sure of what they’re looking for, I recommend folio boxes.

Folio boxes offer a unique versatility that differentiates them from traditional albums and wall art. Unlike albums, folio boxes allow for easy customization and reordering of prints. You can swap out images, create different sets for various occasions, and display their prints as you see fit. This flexibility makes folio boxes practical for those who value variety and adaptability in showcasing their photographs. The most common way people use the folios is to switch out the images on display periodically. You can easily switch out prints to match your decor or mood, creating a dynamic display that evolves over time.

Here are three other ways that you could use your folio box:

Venue Decor

This option is particularly excellent for weddings and other parties. Use the images from your portrait or engagement session to mark off stations such as food, drinks, and lounge areas at your event or party. You can also use them to mark off individual tables for your guests.

They make great Gifts.

Folio boxes are great for sharing memories. Unlike wall art, which will most likely live solely in your space, you can give individual prints as gifts to loved ones such as parents and grandparents so that they can have a piece of the celebration with them as well. This versatility ensures that the photographs remain accessible and cherished by all the people who matter to you.

Use The Box for your new memories.

Once the images have been hung, gifted, or displayed, the one thing that remains is the box itself. Use the empty box to collect new mementos of your life in the years to come. Unlike that old cardboard box that you put in storage and forgot about, your folio box is beautifully crafted and will feel right at home in your living room

Lo - Fi Vibes - SoundCloud

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