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a/n: YES I KNOW THE CHEMISTRY NERD KUROO CONCEPT IS FAR TOO OVERUSED. but i unfortunately could not care less. and i wanted an excuse to use cheesy pick up lines. so heejehjehjw here
this was especially inspired by @showhay's fic here (if you see this nique i love your writing so much and i'd love to like dm u but im rlly scared hahehdh) so major credits there!!
reader kinda mentally crashes out but like jokingly. this is all fluff :3 and the axis mundi line actually came from real life with my bsf and me during class
oh and reader is female. i have NO IDEA how to write gn or male readers im so sorry i promise i'll work on it
summary: kuroo relies on the power of his lame nerdy pick up lines to woo you. is he successful? far more than he ever expects.
tetsuro kuroo was annoying. unfair. because the smartest 3rd year by far at nekoma high should NOT have been this charming. or attractive. why couldn't he just be stupidly intelligent and leave it at that? why did he have to be the team captain for a national level volleyball team? why did he have to look like THAT, stepping out of the locker room, hair wet from a shower and sticking perfectly to his forehead. you so badly wanted to tell him to put the hair gel DOWN. but oh well, he still looked hot alright with that stupid hairstyle that should not have worked for him. but still did. not only that, but he just had to go and be a nice person as well. couldn't he have been a douchebag? he had EVERYTHING else going on for him! but nooo he had to just be this loyal, hilarious, and supportive friend, student, teammate, and captain. it was infuriating.
and it was bad enough that you were thinking this way about him at all. because it meant his "attempts" were working. to be honest, they'd been working probably even before he'd started trying. but these attempts had you giggling like a ridiculous 13 year old every evening. never in front of his face though; you didn't want to widen that stupid adorable smirk of his any more than necessary.
see, you and him had known each other ever since junior high, and you've always had a teensy, tiny little crush on him. along with every other girl who'd ever come in contact with him. and you were close-ish? close enough that you'd wave and smile if you saw him, but you never had a conversation with him for over 10 minutes. not to mention, you'd sure as heck never initiate an interaction with him. and you liked it that way! it was fun just admiring someone from afar, never having to worry about anything becoming real- until the universe decided to flip your life entirely upside down.
it had started 3 months ago with a note he passed during advanced biology.
"y/n, are you made of copper and tellurium, or can i just call you Cu-Te?"
you stared at that scrap of paper for about a minute before sputtering and throwing it back at him, pretending like your cheeks weren't the same shade as his tie. he'd laughed, far too loudly for a class that half the students were failing, but you supposed when one was that smart and had even the professor obsessed with them it didn't quite matter. you even told him to be quiet, which he did, but not before winking and grinning to himself even afterwards.
the next incident happened in the lab that same week. he'd leaned over, seemingly waiting to use the microscope after you. but after he'd tapped your shoulder and gotten your attention, he whispered, "i'd kill to be the cell under that microscope. you know, getting all of your attention." you'd then choked on absolutely nothing, leading to him gently patting your back, making some excuse to your professor about how the magic of science just caught you so off guard. and of course, your poor, clueless professor just laughed it off before going on about how he once experienced something like that... but none of that registered to you because tetsuro's hand. was. on. your. back. his extremely strong hand that you'd seen hit countless volleyballs, the hand you'd stared at one too many times in class, the hand that you'd love to hold someday-
another incident happened the exact same day. this time in history class. you had been learning about latin concepts, beliefs, how they impacted daily life, all that. then tetsuro walks around the classroom, yet another note in hand, dropping it at the corner of your desk on his way to the pencil sharpener.
you take a deep breath, begging yourself to stay calm as you unfold it and read it. "i think i believe in the concept of axis mundi now. because you're the center of my universe ;)" not the wink. he did NOT draw an adorable little wink emoji onto that paper. he was going to actually KILL you.
more and more incidents came in the days and weeks after that.
"i'd cross a cell membrane without transport proteins just to reach you."
"are you mitochondria? cause you're the powerhouse of my heart."
"if you were a triangle, you'd be acute one."
"are you an asymptote? because I find myself getting closer and closer to you."
"i'm so attracted to you that scientists will have to discover a fifth fundamental force."
and somehow, with each pick up line, you grew closer and closer. he opened up a bit more, and you laughed a little easier around him. he pretended to need help with certain subjects just to spend more time with you, and you genuinely saw yourself improving because of how much he'd study with you. and though you wouldn't find out until one fateful day, he was falling harder and harder every day. what had started out as a little silly crush on his side became a full on unrelenting desire to be with you, make you laugh, and make you feel, well, happy.
then that one day came. tetsuro pulled you to the side without his familiar teasing grin but rather a look that seemed almost... nervous? he rubbed the back of his neck, hesitating and chuckling awkwardly. "y/n... i'll be honest, i tried really hard to find a nerdy line to start this off with," he began, making you giggle softly. "but i couldn't. because none of them truly express everything i feel. i know i started this off as a silly little way for me to be funny and nerdy, but if you couldn't tell, i really like you. like, a lot, a lot. to the point where if i'm in the same space as you - like right now - my heart starts doing backflips, and even though i know scientifically that that isn't possible, it really feels like it. so, i guess what i'm trying to say is... god, i really suck at this, don't i?" both of you broke into laughter, your smile growing wider as you began to see where this was going. "you got this, tetsu," you encouraged, a little teasingly but genuinely at the same time. he nodded, grinned, and spoke again. "okay. yeah. i got this. what i'm trying to say is, i'd really love to call you my girlfriend. so would you please go out with me? or not. you can say no, of course, though that-" he was quickly cut off by the soft press of your lips against his and the warmth of your arms around his neck. "yes, tetsuro. i'd love to be your girlfriend." he breathed a sigh of relief, smiling like an absurdly handsome idiot now. "thanks. i think i actually would've passed away if you said no." he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. then another. "i guess you could say that... we got that chemistry, right?"
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I'm lowkey in love with your writing and you cuz you're always so sweet and your reposts HAHAH I love your tags !! I hope you have the best day ever ๐
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THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WISHES !!!!
being a fic consumer is what keeps me in business โฆ.. writingโฆ.. you get the drift so THANK YOU FOR STICKING AROUND AND READING
im always kicking and giggling my feet when i get messages like this thank you ๐๐
and iโm so happy to know someone reads my tags ๐๐๐๐๐
best day ever
thank you so much for dropping by and feel free to stop by anytime
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HEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOVA I've had it in my calendar for years lol I cant miss it ๐ซถ
OMG JACK I CANT BELIEVE YOU SAVED IT ILYSM
thank you truly for being here for me across so many years <3 you are a core part of the memories iโve made on this platform and i owe so much of the fun iโve had to you
i canโt believe itโs been like 4-5 years !! time flies
iโm doing well! itโs good to see you active again hehe .. after i left animeblr, i was on the kpop side for a few years before leaving blr altogether :( although, i do pop in sometimes to read fics :3
life has been so busy but i suddenly remembered that actor tooru fic you wrote me once and then i went back to discord to reread our texts because woah .. that was such a good time! i miss you and our little friend circle. hope you are doing well! and iโd love to catch up on discord!
iโm glad you still lurk around here to read that brings me so much joy to know youโre here and around <33
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if there was one thing that kuroo tetsurล unfortunately knew well, it was that he might be his friend groups biggest situationship warrior.
it wasn't his fault, not truly anyways. being friends with the volleyball team meant that he was constantly attending their games, going to their afterparties, and of course, serendipitously, always ending up in your dorm room before he was about to crash.
it wasn't like he didn't want to date you. heavens, he did, more than anything else in the world. this yearning of his kept him up at night and more distracted in class than heโd ever even want to admit.
there was just one small problem.
he had no idea what you felt for him. at all.
heโd confided this in akaashi one day outside of a boba place, sipping his taro milk tea with the distinct feeling that you wouldโve enjoyed this as much, if not more than him had you come along.
akaashi sipped his own drink, raising a dry brow. โyou mean to tell me that nekomaโs best read blocker canโt read a crush?โ
he sighed dramatically, setting his drink down on the table. โtrust me akaashi, if it was obvious, i wouldโve already asked them out.โ
he settled deeper into the chair as if it would give him answers. โeverytime i think that iโve finally understood what they feel for me, something comes up to contradict it. for example: they complimented my outfit for the career fair. but the counterpoint is that everybody was dressed that way.โ
akaashi cracked his knuckles, adjusting the frame of his glasses. โbut they complimented you specifically.โ
โor that other time that they stayed up late to help me with my homework when i couldnโt even stay up after tutoring bokuto. but theyโre just kind.โ
โhave you ever stopped to consider that maybe they arenโt making a move because they canโt seem to read you either?โ
kuroo stilled.
akaashi continued. โi donโt know a single damn person whoโd ever bother to keep hosting you in their room everytime you have a game. or living in this kind of excruciating limbo unless they like you. or theyโre oblivious.โ
โwhoโs oblivious?โ
kuroo felt his soul rip out of his body as he sees you, draped in sunlight and looking ever so ethereal. the sun kissed tendrils of your hair, making you look like youโd appeared from some other plane of existence entirely.
โkurooโs crush,โ akaashi said cooly, the subtlest smirk on his face as he sipped his milk tea. โweโre discussing whether or not thereโs a possibility that they like him back.โ
you rose a brow, pulling over a chair to sit beside your recent best friend. โiโm offended i didnโt know about this. kuroo? who is this person?โ
kuroo coughed.
no way.
โnothing!โ he blurted out. excellent. he was clearly and arguably the smoothest man alive.
โliar!โ
โkuroo spends a lot of time with them,โ akaashi shrugged. the bastard. โheโd rather stay in limbo than make a move.โ
โi have the solution,โ you grinned, willing your heart to stay together.
crushing on kuroo had been arguably the worst decision of your life. kind, handsome, and thoughtful, you realized halfway through your friendship that he could ruin your life and youโd say thank you.
โwhich is?โ kuroo asked, his own heartbeat loud in his ears.
โpractice on me,โ you giggled. โask me out. make a move. iโll give you feedback. we can practice so you can beat your situationship.โ
kurooโs eyes widened.
what. the. fuck????!!!!
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