Mysfyt

He will be the death of me. I can feel the hot breath of my impending doom on the back of my neck. I am very aware that if I don’t cut him out of my life permanently and entirely I will end up dead. Not because he killed me with his own hands but his lifestyle and my over whelming love for him. I can without reservation say I would be willing to lay down my life for that man. I also unfortunately know that he would not do the same. He says he loves me, he knows I’m the only one that has his heart. He wants to marry me someday. But I know it is not true. He I’m sure even believes his own lies. But truth be told, he would sell me out for 20 sack of dope. I will never mean as much to him as that shot. He worships her and gives his all to her. The almighty Crystal. I wanna believe he loves me and only me, I wanna believe he does not cheat on me with both men and women. I wanna believe he is willing to walk away from the needle to be a family with me and my son, he’s been with my son longer than anyone. He breaks my heart over and over again. Just as soon as I am getting over him and I don’t miss him, somehow he makes me fall hard for him again. I hate him for this. I hate him more than I hate anyone. And yes I still love him deeper than I knew was possible. My devotion to him does not wavier. I need it to though. I need to cut these ties between us but I’ve tried over and over. I just don’t know what to do. I just know if I don’t get away from him I’m gonna end up dead way too soon.