Wish You Knew My Name Now

im sexy and i know it girl look a dead body girl look a dead body

my dark twisted secret is i always use my turn signals whenever possible because i believe they were included in vehicles for a reason. i’m a bit of a freak this way. a weirdo

I love Tumblr’s holiday traditions.

‘tis the season, time to reblog pocketss halloween flight rising comic

I love this meme because I think humans 10,000 years ago or 100,000 years ago would also like it

Very Good Trope: Civillian is told “ stay in the car” while hero goes to confront villain. Hero gets in over head and all seems disaster. Civillian crashes car into villain. 

Me, watching: ohhohoho! But they stayed in the car! Yesss, this is very good!

Half the fun is that they followed the letter of the order while violating the spirit. The other half is watching Chekhov’s Civillian smash through the wall.

chekhov’s civilian, i love it. you can stay. 

im not immune to how corsets make breasts look

“I LOVE that game!” (watched a letsplay and commentary about it)

this counts and i’ll hear nothing against it

if watching sports counts as enjoying the sport, then watching video games counts as enjoying video games.

And literally a huge part of gaming has ALWAYS been the experience of sitting around together, watching one person in the group play while everyone else cheers, heckles, shrieks, and generally has a good time.

the mcu is the “the curtains are just blue” of cinematic experiences

Is that why it’s so good?

f scott fitzgerald scared to say god himself is watching nick carraway and his band of socialite hedonists so he makes up an optometrist billboard constantly overlooking them (out of fear, hes scared)

michael crichton throwing out a version of jurassic park that just says “science, without restraint, can be dangerous. and dinosaurs are cool”

edgar allen poe’s first draft of telltale heart: “if you kill someone…..you might feel bad about it/:” but he starts trembling looking at it and says “no…..i’m too much of a pussy…to say this”

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

We interviewed her, obviously.

Such a developing story.

I love this story

This was a wild ride from start to finish

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

Ok actually genuine tip for new tumblr users: if you see a post you like and want to reblog but theres a bad/annoying added on bit in the reblog chain feel free to just reblog that post straight from op or the last person who knew how to mind their business

Or just mock the edition. That usually works

oR jUsT mOcK tHE eDiTiON. tHaT uSuAlLy WoRkS

sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid

A single person’s bed is generally against 2 walls, a couple’s bed is generally against 1 wall, and people with 0 walls have no fear of the dark/unseen with direct access to their head, and therefore cannot be human.

ok the bed just out in the middle of the room is bad but have you considered: only the footboard end against a wall

no i hadn’t. why would you put that image into my head?

I’m at a loss for words

STay out of my study unless you intend to have sex with me

BACK UP, YOU CANT JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT TO THOMAS’ FUNKY BED SET UP AFTER JUST LOSS-ING TUMBLR LIKE THAT