In My Head

The beginning of the fall semester was exciting, it was certainly different to what you imagined it would be like back in high school. Still, you focused on your classes and your extracurriculars, but you did have something else to study. By now there wasn’t much left to research in regard to scents, so it was best to look into alphas and the type of training they underwent. The basics you knew. Alphas were supposed to care for omegas in all aspects, but there wasn’t much about how they went about learning that. You’d normally ask Chan these things, but he’d likely know what you were really after. 

There was the option to ask the other alphas in the dorm, but Chan could find out about your investigation. Then again, you could argue you were just asking normal questions. There was no harm in at least trying. With that in mind you decided to go to Seungmin. You invited him out to come to the garden with you. A relaxing hobby that would also give you some space to talk outside the dorm. Besides, you really did need to check in on the plants, so it was a win-win situation. Seungmin didn’t think you had any ulterior motives either, making this the best plan.

“Seungmin.”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“What are your duties? Like, what does omega care and protection mean for you?”

“Well, in regards to care, omegas are very sensitive to pheromones, so alphas need to keep control of themselves so they don’t negatively affect any omegas.”

“Then… is it true omegas were mistreated before?”

“It’s not your fault omegas are sensitive. Back then others didn’t care to learn to control themselves, and omegas suffered the worst for it.”

“You make it sound like the real problem here are the alphas.”

“I think you’d be right. Even though alphas were also sensitive to omegas, the type of violence that occurred was unacceptable. That’s why the OCPD originally had betas as well.”

“Wait, really? I’ve never heard anyone mention that before, and I don’t think it’s in the history books either…”

“It’s not common knowledge or relevant since they’re no longer part of the department, but they do teach the alphas about it.”

“So, what were betas like as agents?”

“They served as mediators in the early years of the OCPD. Since betas weren’t strongly affected by pheromones, they’d keep the alphas in check and make sure the omegas weren’t harmed.”

“That sounds pretty important. How come there aren’t any betas now?”

“At the end of the day omegas are more obedient to alphas, thus the alphas underwent some more training to be better suited caretakers. Once that was successful, betas slowly faded out of the department.”

“Wow, it kinda sucks we’re not taught this.”

“I know. Although I’ve heard rumors about betas being brought back into the department.”

“Really? Why now?”

“No idea, that’s if it’s true. Regardless, that’s not something that concerns either of us.”

“Then, that’s all care stuff, what about the protection part?”

“Honestly that was more of a thing when omegas still lived among normal society. The entire department had a duty to protect omegas until they were of age and brought to these places. Nowadays I say it’s more about care than anything else.”

“I think so too.”

You didn’t get much out of Seungmin, at least not what you were looking for, but gardening together was fun. You thought about the type of questions you could ask without causing trouble, and who to ask, but something else came up first.

“What’s pupspace?”

The living room in the dorm was always a good study space, and that’s where you were when Felix suddenly brought up a random question. You had no idea what he was talking about, but Changbin had some answers.

“Where did you hear about that?” Changbin questioned.

“I saw it written down in Jeongins notes the other day, but I had forgotten about it until now.”

“That is something us alphas are being taught about at the moment.”

“So, what is it?”

“It’s something omegas go into when really calm and relaxed. Like the puppy instincts take over. Although it’s also said to be a defense if an omega gets too overwhelmed or stressed. It’s not a common thing though, not too much is known about it to begin with. Omegas either slip into that space on their own depending on the circumstances or can be guided into it.”

“Can you do that?” You asked. “Put an omega into pupspace?”

“I think they want to teach us, but it’s very important to be cautious and kind when an omega is in such a state.”

“They don’t teach us about it, and it’s about us.”

“Maybe your classes just haven’t gotten there.”

“Then why do you guys learn about it first?”

“Well, we’re supposed to take care of omegas, and this is-”

“It’s different from calming an omega down. Are they gonna teach you how to force an omega into that state?”

“No. The right environment is needed for the omega, and one has to be gentle.” Changbin explained. “You can look over my notes if you want. I’m not trying to keep any secrets here.”

With that said you figured you had him cornered to ask about the summer training, but before the words could leave your mouth Chan came in. He asked who wanted ice cream and Felix jumped at the chance. You definitely couldn’t ask what you wanted to with Chan around, so you let it go for the moment. You just needed to figure out who you could actually ask, and who would actually tell you what you wanted to know. Then the answer practically hit you on the head.

“Hey, y/n, how are you?”

After a class you wound up running into Gunil. He was happy to see you, and so were you. It finally occurred to you that the best person to ask was someone outside the dorm entirely. So you asked Gunil if he wanted to join you for a study session and to catch up over your study breaks. He liked the idea and you both agreed to meet up in the library at a later date. You booked a study room for the two of you, and didn’t tell the others you would be hanging out with Gunil. As far as they knew you wanted some alone time for studying. You both did work on your assignments and study, but naturally you started to talk about other things. It had been a while since you last saw each other.

“What did you do over the summer?”

“I took up gardening. It’s really fun and relaxing, you should try it sometime.”

“I don’t have much of a green thumb.”

“I could show you.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on the offer.”

“What about you though? What did you do over the summer?”

“Not much. I still had some classes, and studying. I did some training, and I got to sleep way more.”

“Oh yeah, the alphas in the dorm were gone for a bit for this summer training. How long were you gone for?”

“Uh, about two weeks.”

“What was your training for?”

“Just basic stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Strength training, and whatnot. You could consider it like a bootcamp, but nothing too crazy you need to worry about.”

“Then, why don’t you tell me what you did? What kind of training do you alphas need to go off campus for?”

“Why do you want to know so badly?”

“Why don’t you want to tell me?”

“Cause it doesn’t matter.”

“So it shouldn’t matter if you tell me the truth.”

“It’s not important. It’s just training.”

“What kind of training causes your scent to change?”

“…” Gunil got quiet for a moment. “What are you talking about?”

“I know your training was supposed to be for two weeks. Some were gone longer than that, and others didn’t come back at all. You know that too.”

“…”

“Our scents aren’t supposed to change, but they can as a result of trauma.”

You got up from your seat and slowly approached Gunil. He didn’t do anything, just watched you. So he didn’t reject you when you leaned in closely to breathe in his scent. Just like the others you caught a hint of that underlying numbness. Without realizing tears began to form. It hadn’t truly sunk in what you were investigating, but now it was. All the alphas had gone through something major, yet they were all acting like they were just fine. You slowly stepped back, keeping your composure.

“What happened to you, Gunil?”

“… I can’t answer that.”

“Why?”

“It’s not your concern.”

“It’s not fair to keep this a secret!”

“This isn’t really some secret, it’s just that you’re the only one asking.”

“What?”

“The alphas know not to talk about the summer training, and the omegas just accept the simple answer. Everyone knows the alphas undergo more training in order to be agents. Alphas take special classes, we always have, so doing some special summer training isn’t out of the ordinary. This whole thing isn’t some big secret to uncover cause no one else sees it that way.”

“…”

“You’re stressed and annoyed by this, I can tell, I can smell it off you, but you are doing this to yourself.”

“… are you going to tell me what you did in your summer training…?”

“No, I won’t, and no alpha ever will.”

“Then I’ll ask someone in higher authority.”

“Don’t. There will be major consequences if anyone finds out you’re asking about this. Not just for you, but all the others in your dorm too.”

“…”

“Have you told Jisung or Felix about what you’re doing?”

“No. I’m the one who figured out something was wrong, and I wasn’t going to make anyone else worry.”

“Y/n, you have to let this go. For your sake above all else.”

“… I… I don’t think I can…”

“You need to stop. Alphas disappear from this place every now and then, but omegas can disappear too. I don’t want you to vanish from my life again, but I can’t see you if you’re like this.” Gunil packed up his things. “If you actually want to protect those around you, drop this.”

You stayed by yourself in the study room for a long while. You thought over Gunil’s words, at least grateful for his candor above all else. Regardless of all your efforts you remained at square one. You knew nothing, and it was made very clear to you that nobody intended to tell you anything. You gathered up your things and wandered around campus for a bit. You saw so many others going about their lives. The omegas happy in blissful ignorance, and the alphas smiling like nothing was wrong. You were the only one hurting.

When you got back to the dorm you took a moment to compose yourself before walking in. You put on a smile and acted like everything was okay. Most of the others were gathered together for a movie night, but you told them you had some things you wanted to do and wouldn’t be joining them. They were none the wiser as you retreated to your room. Once again you just stood around, not sure what to do with yourself. A moment later you heard another door close, realizing it was Chan. You made a choice then and there, going to Chan’s room, and locking the door behind you.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t do this, Chan…” You admitted. “I can’t just ignore the problem… and not knowing is killing me…”

“You don’t need to stress over this. Y/n, I’m right here, I’m okay, we all are. There’s no reason-”

“Are you even my Chan?”

“What? That’s ridiculous, what kind of-”

“That’s how I feel… Chan left… and when he came back he was different… his scent was different… that doesn’t just happen…”

“Y/n-”

“Are you really the alpha who did everything to make me feel safe and happy? Or is he gone?”

“Y/n-”

“I can’t live like this, Chan! If… if you’re really him you need to be honest with me, please, please just tell me what’s going on… I can’t do this…”

You collapsed to your knees, tears blurring your face as you begged through your sobs. Chan watched you for a moment, his own resolve breaking bit by bit. He slowly approached and knelt down, gently reaching over to pet you and pull you into his arms.

“It’s dangerous to tell you. If anyone knew that you knew, we’d all be in big trouble.”

“I’m not okay… I’m really not… I don’t know who I can trust… I’m all alone here and… I can’t…”

“… y/n…”

The ache in Chan’s heart was indescribable. You were such a mess, and your scent told him this wasn’t some act to get information from him. He didn’t choose to do this to you, yet he was responsible nonetheless. He couldn’t bear to see you like this, yet the only remedy he had wasn’t exactly great either.

“… y/n, y/n, y/n…” Chan took your head in his hands. “I will tell you the truth, but only if you’re calm.”

“… huh?”

“Do you remember when Changbin was talking about pupspace?”

“…no… no you can’t-”

“Sh, sh, listen to me. When in pupspace you’re still you, you’ll understand what I’m saying, but it’ll be on a delay, and I can make sure you won’t freak out. This is the only way this works, okay?”

“… okay… you promise, right? You’ll tell me the truth…”

“I will, I promise.”

Chan asked you to give him a moment while he set something up. You were trying to dry your tears, seeing him grab the bed sheets and pillows, taking them into the bathroom. When he was done he brought you over, seeing he had turned the tub into something cozy. He got in first and then had you sit in his lap. He wiped away the last of your tears and placed a blanket over you. The bathroom door was closed, and his scent was certainly in the air and all around you. Chan wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on your head. It was quiet, but you could hear his heartbeat. 

The calm and steady rhythm was like a lullaby, and his scent was growing stronger. You had to put your trust in him right now, so you let all this wash over you. Slowly your heart and your mind started to settle. You were still worried about this whole thing, but it wasn’t weighing on you so heavily. It’s like the burden had become weightless. You felt like you were floating, and you snuggled against Chan. It really was cozy in his arms, but you knew you were here for something else.

“I’m sorry I made you worry so much… it was never my intention…”

“… I know…”

“Y/n, I’m alright, okay, you need to remember that.”

“… what happened, Chan…?”

“I packed a bag and went on a small trip… they knocked us out and when we woke up we were somewhere new… no windows… kinda cold…”

“… were you scared…?”

“A bit, but it wasn’t that bad.”

“… what was the training…?”

“To start they did a routine physical on us, just to see where we were at… then… then…” Chan kissed your head. “Then they locked us in these cells… it was like a puzzle box… we had to do a list of things in order to get ourselves out…”

“… why…?”

“I guess it was a cognitive test at first… then… it became something else…”

“… like what…?”

“They put us in the cells… and then pumped the room full of pheromones… omega pheromones to be specific…”

“I… I don’t understand… why would they do that…?”

“Cause instinct takes over… they triggered a rut and… we can’t really focus in a state like that… and there wasn’t really relief…”

“Chan… that’s… that’s torture, isn’t it…?” 

“It was just training. In order to do our job we need to be in control of ourselves, so they put us in a situation to learn. If we wanted out of the room we needed to fight our instincts and get ourselves out.”

“… all… all the alphas did this…?”

“Yup. Endurance training. The constant exposure… we get stronger… of course not everyone can handle this… so those individuals were dismissed…”

“… you were gone for so long…”

“I was okay, I just needed to do some more training. I’m looking after you as well as Jisung and Felix, I have to be capable for all of you.”

“… that’s not fair… they… they hurt you… they…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay, I’m okay, and so are the others.”

“… but… but you… next summer…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. We did well enough to pass this time around. By graduation we’ll be excellent.”

“No…”

“No, what?”

“… you… you shouldn’t… do that…”

“I need to be able to take care of you. If I can’t control myself when you’re not in control I could hurt you or worse. I’ve seen what an out of control alpha can do, I don’t want to be like that around you, so this is necessary.”

“No it’s not.”

“Sh, sh, sh, everything’s okay. It happened and it’s over now.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to apologize for, okay, but this has to stay between us. I know it’s a lot, and it sucks to hear, but you have to keep this to yourself. Promise me.”

“I promise…”

“Good, good. I’m sorry for worrying you so much.”

Everything felt like a dream, but his words kept you connected to reality. Just picturing what he said, you could understand why none of the alphas would ever talk about it. There’s nothing to be proud of, and it sounds like humiliation too. It was awful to know what those close to you had gone through, it still weighed heavy on your heart, but at least knowing helped with the ache. This whole thing was cruel, and hard to believe, but Chan didn’t do anything to make you believe he was lying. He gave you the truth, and now everything was laid bare before you.

“Chan…”

“Hm?”

Emotions were overflowing from Yunho, but he needed to compose himself. Too much had happened too fast, a betrayal on two sides. He didn’t want to believe it, even now, but the truth was out, and there was nothing that could change that. He knew he could deal with his sister later, so for now the most important matter was in relation to Seonghwa. He wanted that person out of the palace as soon as possible, which meant he had to confront them now. Both Seonghwa and his guard Hongjoong were locked up, calm and quiet. He hated it.

“I acted alone.” Seonghwa stated. “My family has nothing to do with my actions.”

Yunho scoffed. “You expect me to believe that?”

“My father would never approve of my actions as it would cause conflict and break relations between our families. You know that to be true. So exile is the best way to maintain peace, and I shall go without issue.”

“You’re very calm considering the circumstances.”

“I know what must happen now.”

“Then tell me, why were you involved with the princess?”

“Is it so hard to understand that my actions were based off love.”

“You really expect me to believe that as well?”

“I suppose you know better than I how her life has been. Sneaking around and going to her at night was the only way to care for her, to love her as she rightfully deserves.”

“Well because of you I’ll need to keep a better eye on her. She’ll remain in her quarters indefinitely, and guarded at all times.”

“You’re not better than the king and queen.”

“I am nothing like them!” Yunho snapped. “If they were in charge of the situation you would be dead by now, but I won’t cause my sister such harm. So instead of death you’ll live in exile and never see the princess again.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. You want me dead as well, but I thank you for your merciful heart.”

“You’ll leave in the morning, and never return.”

“Then let me make one thing clear.” Seonghwa stood up, standing face to face with Yunho. “If you hurt her, I will know, and I will make you pay.”

Those words were nothing but an empty threat, but Yunho appreciated seeing something real, even if for a moment. He didn’t bother with a reply and simply walked away. Whether he believed Seonghwa’s words or not didn’t matter. That traitor was leaving, and he’d never allow them near his sister again.

“Jongho.”

“Yes, your highness.”

“I will not tarnish the Park name now as it would disrupt peace. Once I ascend the throne I shall get new advisors. So let’s keep this as simple and as quiet as possible.”

“Yes, your highness.”

“We’ll just say that Seonghwa is not cut out for the palace or the role of a royal advisor. They’ll be relieved of their responsibilities and leave the palace indefinitely.”

♦♦♥♦♦

You couldn’t sleep that night, merely pacing back and forth, wiping away tears and choking back sobs. By now your eyes were red and puffy, and your throat a bit dry and itchy. You felt responsible for everything that had happened, and the guilt of it all weighed heavily on your shoulders. Above all you hated yourself. You were so pathetic, and you couldn’t do anything about what was going on. So you resorted to lashing out, destroying everything in your room, screaming until your voice went hoarse, ignoring all the pains and aches that bloomed on your body. These injuries were nothing compared to what Seonghwa was going through, what you had put him through.

You only stopped when there was nothing left unbroken. You laid among the mess, the last inklings of tears sliding down your face. You reached for the necklace Seonghwa had given you, holding it tight as your heart ached. Time had no meaning, and before you knew it you saw bits of daylight creeping in. Once you realized what that meant you rushed out of your quarters. Except when you made it to the gates the guards posted there grabbed you and held you back. You started screaming and begging, desperate to see Seonghwa one last time. The guards weren’t budging, and then you saw Mingi, Yunho’s royal guard. Your heart immediately dropped, fearing the worst in seeing him.

“Is… is Seonghwa gone…?” Mingi shook his head. “Please, I want to see him off, please, please.”

“I can’t do that, your highness.”

“Please! I have to see him!”

“Your highness-”

“She can come with me.”

As you were begging, Yeosang seemed to come by. You were certain Yunho had sent him over to check on you, but he were your chance.

“With all due respect, I was-”

“I’ll take responsibility.” Yeosang assured. “I am the one looking after her health after all. If she’s kept from this, it will negatively affect her.”

“…”

“Come now, we don’t have much time.”

Yeosang pushed aside the guards and took your hand, leading the way. He escorted you, and Mingi followed as well with some other guards. You were certainly a mess, but cleaned yourself up as best as you could. It was very early in the morning so no one else was really around, which was all the more reason for Seonghwa’ exile to happen at daybreak. By the time anyone knew what had happened, he would already be gone. You were nervous, a part of you not fully accepting what was happening, and you had no idea what you would say. None of it mattered though as the moment you saw Seonghwa dressed in white your mind went blank and you ran to his side.

“Seonghwa!”

The guards escorting him intended to stop you, but Seonghwa pushed past them and met to embrace you. They likely would have separated you, but Mingi told the others to hold off and let you both have your moment. You were so focused on Seoghwa you didn’t even realize your brother was approaching.

“What is the meaning of this!?” Yunho snapped. “What is she doing here!? I never-”

“She needs this.” Yeosang interrupted, stepping in front of Yunho to halt him in his tracks. “If you don’t allow her to bid him farewell her mental state will suffer more. I brought her here, I shall take responsibility.”

Yunho actually growled at Yeosang, but let it go. This would be the end regardless. So he could allow a few moments to say goodbye, even if he hated it.

“Seonghwa… I’m so sorry…”

You hugged Seonghwa tightly the moment he was in your arms again, fresh tears starting to fall. He hugged you tightly in return, gently rocking your body to the side and rubbing circles into your back.

“Sh, it’s not your fault.”

“It is…”

“You weren’t the one sneaking into my quarters.”

“Seonghwa…”

“Sh, please don’t cry. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“I don’t want you to go…”

“I have to, you know that.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologizing, it’s okay.”

You pulled away from the hug, Seonghwa wiping away your tears. He was holding himself together, and he looked so ethereal in the morning light.

“You… you were going to tell me something… what is it…?”

“Now is not the time, but I must ask you to be strong, and to take good care of yourself.” Seonghwa caressed your cheek. “I will make this right, I will find my way back to you, I promise.”

“Seonghwa-”

Before you could say more Mingi grabbed you and pulled you away from Seonghwa. He held you back as other guards dragged Seonghwa back to his original spot. You tried to hold on, but your hands slipped from his, and his warmth lingered on your fingertips. You were held back as Seonghwa’s exile was properly announced, presented as him being unable to fulfill his duties and voluntarily leaving. It was all a lie and it hurt even more. Tears kept flowing and blurred your vision. You couldn’t watch him go so you hid your face in Mingi’s chest. He awkwardly tried to comfort you, but it wasn’t going to help much. The silence that fell was quietly filled with your sobs. After a moment Yeosang pulled you towards him, softly telling you it was time to go back to your quarters. In any other situation you might have fought back, but you were so defeated you simply let Yeosang lead you away, back to your cell.

You felt dead with every step, moving further and further away from the person you loved so much. Your vision was still a bit blurry, a few sniffles here and there. The pain in your chest was indescribable, and you hated knowing you had to go on like this. This was all just a bad dream you wanted to wake up from, but you didn’t know if you would. Yeosang was leading the way, and you weren’t paying much attention until you heard multiple footsteps. It was too early to be hearing so many people, and when you looked up you immediately stopped. You saw the Queen and her entourage approaching. Instinctively you moved behind Yeosang, grabbing his clothes and trying not to let fear overtake you. As she approached you caught her gaze and knew she was upset with you. She certainly had multiple reasons.

“You-”

The Queen did not care for you trying to use Yeosang as a shield, and she moved to strike you. Of course you hid, waiting for that physical pain, but it never came. When you peeked your eyes open you saw Yunho holding the Queen’s arm and then shove her back.

“The Princess is under my care. You have no right to harm her.”

“Really? Your care? And how did that go?”

“I’ll remind you this was happening before I took over, and I’m the one who dealt with it.”

“Of course.”

“I will also add that the Princess is confined to her quarters indefinitely under my orders. She is not to leave nor is she allowed any visitors without my approval. So don’t think you can scold her later.”

“Hmph.”

The Queen took one last glance your way before leaving with her entourage. Before you would have been grateful for Yunho, but right now he wasn’t in your good graces. From there Yunho escorted you back to your quarters. When he saw the mess that had become of your room he made no comment.

“Since the sun is up, why don’t we have breakfast in your garden? Meanwhile I’ll have your court ladies-”

“Leave.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to see you.”

“Alright, I’ll let you rest. Although, your court ladies do need to clean the room and you need to eat. I don’t want you-”

“Just go already.”

“Okay.”

For now Yunho would comply with your request. He was worried, but you’d likely need some space for the time being. He could give it, and others would keep an eye on you for him. Mingi’s most trusted guards would remain outside your quarters, and they all had their orders. Once Yunho was gone you collapsed in bed as tears started falling again. Seonghwa was gone, you knew that for sure now. Every moment that passed meant he was further and further away from you. He told you he’d make things right, that he would come back, but you had no idea how he’d keep such a promise. All you could do now was hope and wait, even if it hurt. So you quietly cried, laying in bed until you passed out on your own. The night had been extremely eventful, and you were far more tired than you even knew. You slept until your court ladies awoke you, bringing you food.

They moved some things aside, trying to suggest that they could clean while you ate but you told them to leave immediately. The two quickly excused themselves, leaving you with food. You weren’t actually hungry, and for a while you just stared at it. In reality you wouldn’t eat, but you knew Seonghwa would be worried. You forced yourself to take a few bites, but that’s really all you could manage. The rest you threw out, then you noticed the medicine. You really wished Seonghwa had tried it, he likely would have told you all about it. Still, you knew it was important but you only drank a bit before throwing the rest out as well. You left the mess of your room as it was and laid in bed. You pulled out the necklace you had, seeing the sun and moon together. It was just like you and Seonghwa, both from two different worlds, but still finding a way to be together.

The days blurred together in meaningless repetition. Your room remained a mess for a while as your court ladies would slowly clean, bit by bit as they came to drop off food and pick up empty dishes. You’d drift in and out of sleep, staying in your undergarments and refusing to bathe. When food was brought you’d only manage a few bites, taking a sip of your medicine, and tossing everything else out. The animals would eat your leftovers so they did well to cover your tracks. You didn’t cry anymore, having dried up all your tears. You knew this type of living wasn’t what Seonghwa wanted from you, but you didn’t have the energy for anything else. All you could really do was hold onto his promise, but the more you dwelled on it, and as everyday passed it became harder to believe. You missed Seonghwa, everything about him, but now you were supposed to live without him. You honestly didn’t know how long you could last.

♦♦♥♦♦

Yunho gave you space, just as you wanted, knowing very well he was the last person you wanted to see. At least he knew you were eating meals and taking your medicine. Soon enough he was going to need to send Yeosang to check on you, and he himself would have to pay you a visit. He knew it likely would not go well, but it was necessary. Of course in the meantime he had other matters to deal with. The sudden news of exile stirred up trouble in the palace, and such a thing warranted an audience with the King. For such a meeting Minister Park was present as well, which was to be expected.

“Your highness, I deeply apologize for the actions of-”

Yunho held up his hand. “You do not need to apologize. I am aware that the boy acted of their own accord, and I hold no malice towards you or the rest of the Park family.”

“That is very wise of you, my son.” The King stated. “Then we can move forward with assigning another-”

“No, that won’t be necessary.”

“Pardon?”

“I’ve had my own advisor by my side for many years now, and I rather they remain as my sole advisor. I also have no intention of having a Park as my royal advisor going forward.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“Indeed I am. This long standing relationship between the Jeong’s and Park’s is what led to this whole incident in the first place, and I will not allow a repeat. My decision is final on this.”

“I see, and how is the princess?”

“Fine. I have the situation handled, and she will not be a problem to you.”

“Handled? The whole palace is aware of the exile, even if the public believe it was a voluntary leave. You call that handled?”

“The palace was never suited for him. Everyone can agree on that, so the story is not one to be questioned. If there is nothing else to discuss here I shall take my leave as I have other matters to attend to.”

What’s done was done, so there really was no reason to discuss such things further. Without another word Yunho excused himself.

“Your highness.” Jongho began. “If I may, your actions here could be taken the wrong way. Others may think you are making enemies.”

“I’ve always had enemies, Jongho. Some I didn’t even realize.”

♦♦♥♦♦

“This is all still incredibly dangerous, Seonghwa. We are lucky to be alive.”

“Actually being killed would have been difficult, I do bear the Park name afterall.” Seonghwa commented. “What I despise is how this all went down, and I’m worried about y/n.”

“We should get news from the palace soon.”

“Are Wooyoung and San alright?”

“They should be. Neither had strong ties to us, and our relationship appeared purely professional. They’ll likely keep a low profile for the time being to not arouse suspicion or make others question where their loyalties lie.”

“Good.”

That fateful day, after the painful goodbye, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were escorted to the edge of the town. They were given a horse and some basic supplies, another escort team took them further away, leaving them in a small village to live quiet lives. Of course any attempt to return to the palace would result in imprisonment, and there were those around who would keep an eye on them and make sure they didn’t try anything. Seonghwa had no intention of returning to the palace without a plan, and now that he was out here, there was something he needed to do. As long as he didn’t go towards the palace he could do as he pleased, so Seonghwa and Hongjoong packed up for a little journey.

“Where exactly are we going, Seonghwa?”

“This exile works in our favor. There is someone we need to find. They’ll be able to help us.”

“Who could possibly be out here that can provide help? And for what exactly?”

“You’ll see.”

“Well, we’ve been traveling for days now, is this person really worth it?”

“Incredibly so.”

All that traveling led them to a small home out in the woods. The whole place was isolated, and felt oddly familiar too. Seonghwa slowly approached the house, shouting to see if anyone was present. For a long while it was quiet, and then an older man appeared with a sword.

“Who are you? Why are you here?’

The question itself had a difficult and complicated response, but this person looked them over and seemed to recognize the type of clothes they wore.

“I see we are in the same predicament.”

“Precisely.” Seonghwa confirmed. “You’re the exiled Prince Jeong, Grand Uncle of the current Crown Prince.”

“That may be, but the question remains, who are you and what do you want?”

“I want your help. I know why you were exiled, the true reason, all over some secret you did not want to keep. For you it was just something not to speak of, but it is happening now with the current Princess.”

“The Princess? Are you saying she-”

“Yes. I’ve confirmed it myself, and I’ve seen the true records of the royal lineage. I know exactly what has happened in the past in regard to this situation.”

“And what exactly do you want to do with this information?”

“I had plans before, but now all I want more than anything is to get the Princess out of the palace and go far away.”

“You need my help for that?”

“As a royal you know the palace better than I, you would also know how far the King’s reach truly is. I need to get her out safely, and to leave this kingdom entirely.”

“I admire your dedication, but if what you say is true, the safest place for her is the palace.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Yes you do. You come here asking for an escape plan, yet there is another idea in your head. The latter is what needs to be done, and I can help with that as well.”

“The Princess won’t like it.”

“You care for her, don’t you? Why else would you go through such trouble? You know what needs to be done here, and you know it is for her sake.”

“It shouldn’t have to be this way.”

“We both know this situation was created by others, and we have a duty to rectify that.”

You still couldn’t believe you were here. It was truly a dream come true. Once upon a time you watched them on a screen, and now they stood before you, alive and real, well, maybe not exactly alive.

“Hi… I’m y/n, one of the new managers.”

You held your hand out, although you should have known better. Instead the seven boys lined up and did their introduction.

“1, 2, 3. To the world this is NCT. Hello, we are NCT Unity.”

You clapped your hands and jumped up a bit before getting a glare from the other manager. You cleared your throat, and offered a bow in return.

“I look forward to working with you.”

“We look forward to working with you too.”

NCT Unity is a seven member kpop boy group. The leader was Taeyong, and his members were Johnny, Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Jeno, Jaemin, and Jisung. Many like to refer to them as Tae and the J-line. They were an absolute powerhouse in the industry, and had a secret appeal to them. They were androids. Their company had put a lot of care and effort into creating them, making them the perfect idols. You had to say they nailed it. All the members were gorgeous, and incredibly talented. Although they did have different positions in the group. You had been a fan, an NCTzen, for years, so to actually get to work with them, and see them everyday. Your fangirl heart was about to burst from your chest, but this was a big girl job, so you needed to remain professional and composed.

“I have to take this, I’ll be right back.”

The other manager stepped away for the moment, leaving you alone with the boys. You were trying to stay calm, keeping your head low and hoping you weren’t coming off as weird. All of a sudden you saw someone’s face, seeing that they had bent down to meet your gaze.

“Hi.”

“Jaemin!”

“Oh, you know my name. You must really be a fan.”

“What!?”

“We can hear your heart racing.”  Johnny commented. “And your body temperature is spiking. If you’re not a fan we might need to take you to the doctor.”

“No! No, I’m fine… it’s just… a lot…”

“So you are a fan?”

“Of course she’s a fan.” Jeno stated. “She clapped for us when we introduced ourselves.”

“Ah… that was inappropriate of me, sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s great to have someone like you as our manager.”

“Me? We’ve only just met.”

“But as our fan you’re already great.” Jisung added. “So, how long have you been following us?”

“Uh…”

“It’s okay, you can be honest.”

“Since your debut… there was already so much talk about you guys predebut and I was curious. You guys were incredible from the start, and still are.”

“Wow, you must be one of our first fans.” Jaehyun remarked. “We’re honored.” 

“Have you ever been to one of our fansigns?” Jungwoo asked. “I don’t have your face saved in our database.”

“Wait, what? You have a database to remember faces?”

“We like to remember the fans we meet. We’ll be sure to remember you now.”

“Which reminds me.” Jaemin added. “Can we get your number? Now that you’re our manager we should have it.”

“Oh, right, we should exchange contact information.”

“We don’t have physical phones.” Johnny explained. “So you can just give us your number.”

“Okay then.”

You provided them with your number, learning that they could call you remotely as they had cell access from, well, themselves.

“I’m curious.” Taeyong wondered. “Do you have any of our albums?”

“Of course…” You admitted shyly. “I think of myself as a bit of a collector.”

“Then who’s your bias?”

“Um…”

“Oh please, it’s obviously me.” Jaemin stated. “I’m the best.”

“Have you looked in the mirror?” Jaehyun teased. “I’m her bias.”

“The obvious answer is Taeyong.” Johnny pointed out. “He’s the most popular one.”

“That’s not true!” You said. 

“So, I’m not your favorite?” Taeyong questioned.

“Uh… that’s not what I said.”

“Then who’s your bias?”

“Honestly…”

“Yes, we wanna know.”

“I don’t think I could pick.”

“What?” Jeno questioned. “That can’t be true.”

“It is, I swear. You guys are all amazing, and I don’t think I could pick any one of you as my bias.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re our manager.”

“I can’t be showing favoritism, but you’re all great.”

“Who do you collect then?” Jungwoo asked.

“No one in particular. I keep the cards I pull, but I’ll admit Jaehyun keeps popping up.”

“Guess that makes me the winner.” Jaehyun smirked. 

“On a technicality.” Jaemin stated. “So, what’s your favorite comeback?”

“Well… I really liked it when your hair was blue.”

Jaemin threw a smirk your way before running his hand through his hair. As he did so the color changed from brown to blue. You were left with your jaw on the floor.

“You can change your hair color just like that!?” 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about us.”

The manager returned and the boys all lined up again, Jaemin’s hair fading back to brown, meaning running his hand through his hair was all for show. There wasn’t really much to explain to you, so this was gonna be a hands-on learning type of job. Obviously the first thing to familiarize yourself with were the schedules, both group and solo ones. The days were certainly busy, but you got used to it and began to get into your own rhythm. For the most part you were more like an assistant manager, doing tasks that were assigned to you here and there, along with observing and making note of important things. Of course you also had to keep your fangirl side in check as this job allowed you to learn so much more about the boys and how a group like this worked. For safety and security reasons not much was shared with the public about the inner workings of the boys or the group, so all the things you were learning were incredible.

For starters, the boys actually drank this custom made cooling fluid in order to keep their systems from over heating. The bottles were kept in a miniature portable fridge for easy transportation and the door handle was even digitally locked in a way that only the boys could open it to prevent anyone else from accidentally drinking that stuff. Of course the fridge was refilled at the company by authorized staff when necessary but the whole thing was cool nonetheless. You were curious as to what would happen if a person ever drank that green liquid, but you figured it was best not to ask. On top of that, their personal stylists were not exactly what you expected. 

They were professionals of course, but they did things a bit differently. When it came to hair they could style it like normal, but they never cut it or used any sort of products. The boys had life like hair but it was still actually this high-tech material. So they could make it as long or as short as necessary, and change color at will. Not to mention once styled the look could be locked in as if one had used hair spray. Within minutes the boys could have completely different hairstyles and it would always look amazing. Then there was the makeup side of things that was just as cool. The makeup artists still had all the typical items and tools, but they were kinda fake, almost like toys. 

They’d use these special high-tech brushes like one normally would, dabbing it over a color to make the bristles absorb it, except the color could only be applied to the skin of the boys. The brushes could apply foundation along with blush and eyeshadow. Then there were all the colorful pencils and lipstick options too. They were high-tech as well, so you could try to use them on yourself all you wanted, but nothing would appear. Only when used on the boys to add some finer details and color would they actually work. It was so cool to see, and you were impressed by the skills of the staff. It probably took some time to get used to such equipment, and you hoped maybe someday you could learn to use it as well.

Although what really surprised you, but made sense in hindsight, was the tablet the manager always had on them. It seemed normal, but was actually incredibly important. With it, the manager could monitor the boys’ vitals, energy levels, location, and system operations. It made sense to have such a device, you just never thought about all the logistics that would make an idol group like this work. If you didn’t know anything and just saw them perform one day, you wouldn’t know they were androids. Everything about them was carefully designed to appear real, and the things around them mimicked life so well. All this made you love and appreciate the group even more. Yet there was still more to learn.

🖤

One day you were asked to come in early in the morning, before your usual start time. You weren’t sure why, but arrived at the company when you were requested. That was the day you got to see where the boys had their dorm room, or at least what everyone called it. In reality it was something else entirely. When you walked into this supposed dorm you saw that this huge space contained seven pods where the boys would recharge and also receive maintenance. You were told that the boys tended to recharge every three days due to all the activities they took on as idols but when they were in between comebacks it was more of a weekly thing. Today was recharge day, so all seven were currently in their pods for a longer period of time. They looked like they were sleeping, but it was rather odd to see them in such a state.

Besides the pods, there was this giant control panel in the center of the room that monitored everything about the boys, even when they were elsewhere. Seeing all this was another interesting peek behind the curtain, but it also made you sad. This place was so cold and mechanical, not at all the way a real dorm should be. It hurt a bit to know that this was where your idols were when they weren’t on stage or behind a camera. To a degree this was also a bit of a reality check. No matter how realistic they looked, and how life-like they were as idols, they weren’t real people. It was a truth every nctzen knew deep down cause there was no slice of life content from the group. All they ever did was perform on stage, promote their albums on music shows, and do fansigns. The company saw it as a waste of resources to have them play pretend as real people. They were idols, that image was where the love, and money, was at.

“They should be waking up soon.”

You watched as one by one the boys began to wake, seeing an initial green glow in their eyes before it faded away. Definitely like some kind of electronic system booting up. Although they all soon realized you were in the room, offering you a smile and greeting you as they got out of their pods. All systems were good on their end, and now you got to know why you were really brought in so early. Besides learning something new about the boys, the manager handed you the tablet. It was about time you learned how to properly take care of them as androids. You were incredibly nervous to have such an important piece of tech in your hands, but this was a responsibility you’d eventually have to take on. Of course you weren’t the main manager, but you should know what to do in case your help is ever needed in regards to these things.

You slowly got the hang of it. Carefully watching what your manager did and asking questions. Despite how important that tablet was, it was not used much outside of basic monitoring. It wasn’t that scary to have it in hand once you better understood its function, and you certainly felt more like their manager as time went on. You had to keep things professional, but you certainly felt yourself growing closer to the boys. Being with them on the daily really made it easy to forget they were androids and not real people. Of course there were reminders here and there, but regardless you were their manager, and you felt like you were doing a good job so far. Then the real work began.

“Y/n, can I get some water?”

While you were checking over the schedule you suddenly heard a chime. You thought it was your phone, but there wasn’t any notification. Then your gaze went to the tablet at your side. You picked it up and saw a message bubble at the top from Jungwoo. You had no idea they could send messages to the tablet, but either way you couldn’t access the fridge. You were about to figure out how to send a reply when another message popped up.

“I’ll open the fridge for you.”

You glanced over at Jungwoo who was in the middle of hair and makeup. His eyes were closed, yet he was communicating with you. Since he asked, you got up and went to the fridge. As you reached for the handle it clicked and unlocked itself, allowing you to get one of the special bottles. You went over to Jungwoo, intending to place the bottle on the table, but he effortlessly reached for it and took it from you, all with his eyes closed.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

After that whenever you had the tablet the boys would message you. Either with some requests here and there, or just making conversation. It was a bit silly to text in such a way when they were right there, but they found it fun. You weren’t even sure how it worked, but it did. It just became another part of the job, and even though things were mostly smooth sailing, there were complications every now and then too.

“NCT Unity, be ready for rehearsals in five!”

Over time you got to know the other managers and saw each other regularly at music shows and other venues. You were all friendly with one another, and it was nice to chat with people who understood the job.

“Your job has got to be easy since all those boys actually listen to you.”

“It’s not as easy as you think.” You remarked. “They all have their own quirks and personalities. They’re life-like in many ways.”

Even though you had been with them for a while you never got tired of watching them perform. So it really was a treat to see them rehearse. Although the last thing you ever wanted to see was one of them get hurt. This time around during rehearsals Jaemin wound up slipping and crashing to the ground. The table in hand immediately flashed red and you rushed to Jaemin’s side to examine him. He sat up but kept his head low, and you could see why. His left eye was sporadically changing colors and flashing green.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah right, come on, let’s go back to the dressing room.”

You helped Jaemin stand up, the boy keeping a hand over his left eye. You yelled at the staff to examine the stage and fix it before the actual show. You led Jaemin back to the dressing room, the rest of the members following behind as well. Jaemin sat down in front of the mirror, seeing for himself how his eye was glitching. You looked over the tablet to see what the problem was, and it seemed there was some misalignment in his visual component, meaning his eye.

“Okay… how do we fix this…”

“A reset should fix me.” Jaemin commented. “There’s a button behind my right ear, should get it done.”

“Are… are you sure?”

“The alternative is going back to the shop.” Taeyong mentioned. “We don’t have time for that.”

“Right. Okay, it won’t hurt right?”

“Not at all.”

“Alright.”

Jaemin gave you a reassuring smile as you reached over for that reset button. He told you that you had to press it down for three seconds and you’d know when it worked. It was kind of scary to see that smile on his face drop along with his head. Jaemin fell forward into your chest as if he had suddenly fallen asleep. You caught him and held him, feeling this lingering warmth. He was deadly still and silent for what felt like eternity before he finally came back online. That smile was back and his eye was normal again. You double checked the tablet which confirmed all his systems were functioning properly. There was still some time before the show so you went to find his stylist and makeup artist to freshen him up before then. While looking around though you wound up overhearing some of the other managers talking.

“Good thing the android was the one that slipped on the stage, and not an actual idol.”

You certainly wanted to say something about that, but you held your tongue needing to be professional here. It still hurt to hear that. Regardless of what Jaemin was, he still got hurt. If anything he was lucky it wasn’t that severe. The rest of the schedule went by smoothly and you kinda wanted to celebrate to lift up their spirits after the morning incident. Of course your manager reminded you that the boys didn’t really do things like that. It killed your spirit a bit to go home without rewarding the boys, but then you got an idea. You’d have to be careful and keep it a secret, but you think they’d like it. Even though their schedules were done for the day, they intended to practice at the company before going back to the shop. That gave you time to prepare your surprise. It was a little difficult but you stopped by their practice room when everything was ready.

“Y/n? What are you doing here so late?” Jisung questioned. “I thought you went home.”

“I was, but I wanted to do something for you guys. I’m sure this morning was a bit rough, but I wanted to cheer you up. I wasn’t sure how, but I hope this works.”

You presented each member with an icee made from their cooling fluid. At first they were confused, but as you explained it you could see their eyes light up. They eagerly took a sip, rather surprised at how different this was. It was a perfect treat after practicing.

“This is awesome!” Jeno exclaimed. “I didn’t know you could do this.”

“It’s got a little crunch to it too.” Jaehyun added. “I like this better than just drinking this stuff.”

“Thank you very much.” Taeyong commented. “For this and all your hard work as our manager.”

“Of course. It’s my job to look after you guys.”

You stuck around for a bit before heading home. It was late and you had to be back in a couple of hours so you needed some rest. Although instead of your morning alarm waking you up, it was a phone call. The main manager hadn’t shown up to work due to an emergency, so you’d be fully in charge that day. Which meant you had to be there earlier than usual. You had to drag yourself out of bed with less hours of sleep, but duty called. It wasn’t even going to be an easy day as the boys had a fansign scheduled and those events could be rather complex. Still, you put on a smile and prepared to face the day.

🖤

Preparing and making sure everything was set up properly for a fansign was a lot of work, especially since you were fully in charge that day. You wanted everything to be perfect so everyone involved had a good time. The venue was properly set up in no time, and you were going over the final checklist before letting fans in.

“Okay. Your boxes of gifts are under the table. We’ll start with fan interaction and-”

“Come on, y/n, lets do a test run.” Johnny said. “It’s the best way to do this.”

“Huh?”

Before you could say more Johnny was pulling you up on stage. The table had been set, plenty of markers, and a bench for the fans to easily move on from one member to the next. Johnny had you sit down before Jungwoo.

“Hi there, you’re a very pretty czennie.” Jungwoo began. “Is this your first time here?”

“Jungwoo, what are you doing?”

“Come on. You said you never had a chance to come to one of our fansigns, so lets do it now.”

“I-”

“Pretty please.” Jaemin begged. “It’ll be fun and you can say it’s a warm up.”

“Okay, okay.” You smiled. “I don’t have anything with me though.”

“That’s okay, we got you.” Taeyong brought over their new album, handing it to Jungwoo. “We can use this.”

As much as you should have refused, you couldn’t but indulge your fangirl self. This was more of a personal meet and greet, so you put down your title as manager and became just another one of their precious czennies. You always hoped to get into one of their fansigns, getting to meet them, talk about their music and talents. They were just as kind and fun as you had always imagined. Even though you had been working with them for months now, as you went down the line with them, you felt the same awe as you did when you first got into them.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. It’s almost time to get started. Thank you very much for this.”

“Thanks for coming.” Jaehyun teased. “We hope to see you next time too.”

“I’ll do my best to attend.”

“Wait, wait!” Jisung interrupted. “You have to open the album first! We wanna see who you pull!”

“Alright, but after this we have to get started.”

The boys all eagerly gathered around as you did a mini album unboxing. You did your best to avoid seeing the photocard, everyone counting down before you took a look.

“I pulled Jungwoo!”

Of course there was playful disappointment, but Jungwoo was happily puffing out his chest. This was certainly going to be a topic to discuss and tease about going forward, but for now it was time to start the main event. The doors opened and fans were let in, the venue filling up quickly. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, and everyone was having a good time. Then a message from Taeyong popped up on your tablet.

“I don’t mean to cause a fuss, but there is someone here who is banned from these events.”

Just then you got another message with a picture of this person in question. You didn’t know the circumstances but then another message seemed to explain. You got this persons name and reason for being banned, along with the fake name and information given to get into this event. They weren’t kidding about having a database and remembering every fan they ever interacted with at these events. Now you had to handle this without causing a scene, but you knew this would draw attention regardless. You took a breath before talking with some security guards and going over to the person in question. You politely introduced yourself, and when you used their real name they seemed to get nervous. Security along with yourself escorted them out, and you made sure to refund the account used as they never should have been here in the first place. Thankfully the rest of the event continued on with no problems.

“Good job everyone.”

“Let’s take a picture!” Jeno said. “To commemorate today.”

You couldn’t say no as the boys dragged you up on stage. Jungwoo got your album for you and was happily showing off his photocard. You happily let your inner czennie take the photo, knowing this was one of the happiest moments of your life.

“Y/n, can we have those icees again?” Johnny asked. “They were really awesome.”

“Hm, I suppose you deserve a nice treat after all your hard work. Sure.”

There was something special about seeing the boys smile and laugh. It felt more authentic in these private little moments. Of course they shined bright on stage and on camera, but that was their job, their purpose. Now that you were here letting them enjoy custom made icees, those smiles and laughter felt more real than anything you had seen before. All anyone ever really saw of them was when they were idols, but they were truly so much more. You wanted other nctzens to see this too, but as you had been told before, it would be a waste. You didn’t think so, you were a nztcen, you knew you’d love to see them outside of schedules, and so would many more of their fans, but the company was in full control of them. They just wanted idols, and that’s all they were ever going to let these boys be.

After the fansign the boys had no schedules for a while as they had to undergo regular maintenance. It was also a chance for you to take a little break and rest. For the initial stuff you were present, supervising and also wanting to see what maintenance entailed. It wasn’t anything grand. While in the pods the boys underwent a full system and body analysis to make sure everything was functioning properly. The boys were happy to see you, and Jaehyun told you not to be scared of anything. They do this all the time and are perfectly fine. You watched as they all got into their pods, offering you reassuring smiles before closing their eyes. The technician explained a few things to you, saying it was a really simple process. The boys took care of themselves well, so after the initial scans there was just a full system reboot to clean things out.

The reboot part scared you the most. They were people to you, and people didn’t just undergo something like that. You didn’t have to stick around for everything, but it didn’t feel right to leave them alone. So you watched and waited. After the reboot there was a flash of red on the screens, but then it showed that everything was fine. You didn’t know what that meant, but you were glad it was all over now. The technician also informed you that the maintenance had no issues, and excused themselves afterwards. To be safe the boys wouldn’t partake in any schedules for at least three days, so now you all had some downtime. Although besides going home to rest, you weren’t sure what the boys did when they had free time.

“See, quick and simple.” Jisung said as he stepped out of his pod. “We’re all good now.”

“Kinda wanna hang around but…” Jaemin began. “We don’t really have our own place.”

“I know.” Jungwoo added. “This place is so cold and metallic, not comfortable or good for relaxing at all.”

“Why don’t you mention it to the higher ups.” Taeyong suggested. “You’re one of our czennies and our manager, you know it would be better if we had a real place to rest during our downtime.”

“I know, but I don’t have that much power. I can bring it up to the main manager once they get back.”

“Hm, maybe one day you’ll hold that title. Then you could speak for us, right?”

“I’d do my best.”

Even though the boys weren’t on schedules for the time being, it didn’t mean they couldn’t start simple preparations for their next album. They wanted to see the type of things you did as their manager, given you were still in charge, so they stuck close with you over the next few days.

“I feel like you’re just as busy as us.” Jaehyun commented. “When do you get a break?”

“Here and there, I’m alright I assure you.”

“We’re not busy now, so why not take a proper day off.”

“I have to start scheduling for the next album.”

“A nap won’t hurt.”

Jaehyun pulled you away from your things and brought you over to the couch, making you lay down and rest your head on his lap.”

“Jaehyun, this isn’t-”

“Sh. I can sing a lullaby and you can take a quick nap.”

“Jae-”

“You look tired, y/n, let me help.”

“… fine… just fifteen minutes.”

“Deal.”

You were rather tired. Despite it being downtime for the boys you were still rather busy. With the main manager still absent, you were still taking on their duties on top of your own. So far you were handling it, but you were feeling burnout as well. You didn’t want to let the boys down, being able to take care of them is any fans dream, and you intended to do just that. It was easy to fall asleep in Jaehyun’s lap, especially when he started petting your head. His soothing voice lulling you to sleep. After your nap you opened your eyes to see Jeno and Jaemin sitting on the floor in front of you.

“So cute.”

“What the-”

Seeing the two startled you awake and you jumped up. The boys quickly apologized, saying they had been looking for you but Jaehyun told them not to bother you. They said you looked adorable sleeping and figured they would just wait until after your nap.

“… sorry…”

“It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it. Alright, what did you want to see me about?”

“We had some ideas for the album, come on.”

Jeno took your hand and dragged you off. During these days off the boys were way more social with you, and intimate in some ways. They were always happy with you, smiles all around, holding your hand, being clingy and touchy as well. None of it had malicious intent, you knew that, but it certainly made your heart race. In those days it almost felt like you were living in some kind of fantasy, having all their attention on you. Then it hit you.

“… fuck…”

Of course fans loved their idols, but this was something else for you. All this time you had gotten to see a side of them no one else did, gotten to know them and see them in a light fans never did. Your heart wasn’t just racing as a fangirl, but as yourself. It was silly to entertain the thought that you had fallen in love with these boys. They weren’t real, they were just androids, but love couldn’t make that kind of distinction. From the beginning they knew you were a fan, and were more than happy to do all kinds of fanservice for you, which certainly didn’t help your feelings. You weren’t sure what to do with yourself anymore, but you needed to get your heart sorted or else you couldn’t continue doing your job. It wouldn’t be a good idea.

“Alright, the choreography portion of the music video is done. We’ll film a separate dance practice in ten, so everyone freshen up.”

The main manager was still on leave, and you were doing well so far, but you certainly needed help. You considered putting in a request for an assistant manager, but you weren’t sure how that would look. You went to the dressing room to take a breather, needing to look over some things as well.

“There you are.”

Taeyong walked into the room, offering you a smile and then checking his appearance in the mirror. He grabbed a bottle from the fridge, watching you work for a bit.

“Do you think we could get some icees once we’re done for the day?”

“Uh, sure, it’ll just take a while since I still have some other things to do once you guys are done.”

“You’re so busy lately.”

“Well, I am your sole manager right now, so there is a lot for me to take care of.”

“Why not hire some help?”

“Cause the main manager is on leave, and I’m just filling in. I don’t think it would look good of me to ask for help.”

“But you need it.”

“I’m managing thus far.”

“Then maybe you need to unwind a bit.”

“Hm?”

The whole time you had been talking with Taeyong you were focused on your computer, going over emails, but when Taeyong mentioned needing to unwind you looked up. He was standing before you, and next thing you knew he pinned you down on the couch.

“Taeyong… what are you-”

“Your heart is racing right now.” Taeyong chuckled. “And your body temperature is spiking too.”

“… taeyong… it’s not nice to monitor my-”

“You do it too. With that tablet you can see everything about us. This is only fair, isn’t it?”

“I… I don’t understand, please get off-”

As you tried to get Taeyong off of you he suddenly grabbed your hands and held them above your head. Now you were completely pinned beneath him.

“Did you like watching us dance earlier?”

“Huh?”

“Your heart always flutters when you watch us. Even after all this time you get excited to see us perform. You’re still our precious czennie.”

“Taeyong-”

“Will you let me try something?”

Before you could even question his words Taeyong had his lips pressed against yours. It was wrong, you knew that, yet you couldn’t help but kiss back. You let yourself indulge and that was a big problem. You snapped yourself back to your senses and pulled away, starting to fight.

“Taeyong, this is wrong!”

“Then why did you kiss back? Hm?”

“This shouldn’t be in your code.”

Taeyong scoffed. “I’m AI, not a robot, so I’m always learning new things.”

“No one taught you this!”

“But isn’t this a fans dream come true?”

“Taeyong-”

“Don’t you like me?”

“Not like this…”

“Why not? I have all the parts to please you with.”

“This isn’t right! Now get off, Taeyong, please!”

“Who cares if it’s right or wrong?”

“Taeyong!”

To your own surprise he let you go and got off, stepping away just as the door opened. The rest of the boys came into the room, and you quickly composed yourself. Without saying much you excused yourself, rushing to the bathroom to catch your breath and compose yourself. You splashed water in your face, trying to process what had happened. You never expected such a thing to happen, or even be possible. Something like this was really more of a fantasy, but you couldn’t understand why it was happening. Moreso why Taeyong would do such a thing. You kept things professional, you never made moves or dropped hints. You knew any sort of intimate relationship was out of the question, so it made no sense for Taeyong to act in such a manner. He was an android designed to be an idol, not a partner. Something had to be wrong. Yet when you checked the tablet it showed that Taeyong was perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with his hardware or software. Still, this feeling of something being off lingered.

🖤

After that incident nothing crazy happened again, and all the members were just focused on comeback preparations. They definitely had to undergo some maintenance before the big day and get plenty of rest. By then the company was already discussing with you about promoting you to the main manager position and getting a new assistant manager. Back then you’d jump at the chance, but at the moment you were a bit weary of taking the position. You were given time to think about it as per company policy, but you weren’t sure what to do. Your own inappropriate feelings still lingered, as did the incident with Taeyong. You were starting to think it wasn’t a good idea to stay, yet it also seemed too unfair to just leave the boys with completely new managers, especially during a comeback. You told yourself to just make it through this one, and then really decided whether you’d stay or go.

“Y/n, I heard the news!” Jaemin cheered. “You’re gonna be promoted to being our main manager! That’s awesome!”

“Oh, you heard…?”

“Well, Taeyong said he mentioned it to other staff cause you’ve been filling in the position for so long and could use some help. You’ve basically been our main manager for weeks now, so it should be official.”

“Ah, right.” You glanced over at Taeyong for a moment. “Well, it’s currently being discussed.”

“Discussed? What do you mean? You don’t want to be our manager anymore?”

“I just want us all to focus on the comeback before we talk about promotions and all that, alright.”

“But-”

“Stop nagging, Jaemin.” Johnny interrupted. “She’s right, we gotta focus on our comeback right now. Here, I made you some coffee.”

“Thanks.”

You were sitting in the corner while the boys underwent maintenance, drinking coffee and going over the schedule. You also needed to focus on the comeback above all else, but you were struggling to keep your eyes open. The exhaustion was catching up to you, so you figured you could take a little nap and then once the technician was done you’d head out. You made sure to set an alarm before closing your eyes. It never went off though. You didn’t know for how long you were asleep, but when you opened your eyes it was rather quiet. You were still in the maintenance room, but the technician was gone, and all the boys were in their pods. 

The technician probably felt it was best to let you sleep, and the soft hum of the machines could be quite soothing. If you slept through your alarm then you must have been tired. Regardless, you were up now and the boys were resting, so it was time to go. You gathered your things and went to the door only to find that it was locked. That was odd as you were told the doors were only ever locked when the boys were away on schedule. They were in here, and so were you, so it shouldn’t be locked. Maybe it was some kind of mistake, and you just needed to call someone. Although when you started dialing on your phone someone suddenly grabbed your hand. You screamed before realizing it was Jaehyun. You had no idea when he got out of his pod.

“Gosh, you scared me.”

“Where are you going?”

“Huh? You should actually be resting, you need to…”

You glanced back to notice all the pods were empty and the boys were starting to surround you. There wasn’t any reason to fear them, but you were starting to get worried.

“You should go back to your pods. I don’t think you should be up so soon after-”

“We’re perfectly fine.”

“Yes, but protocol… and I need to call someone so-”

Jisung took your phone from your hand and when you tried to reach for it Johnny and Jaehyun began to drag you towards the pods.

“Wait, stop, what are you doing!?”

Your strength was really no match for them and they shoved you into one of the pods. You slammed your palms against the glass, shouting over and over again.

“This isn’t funny! Let me out! Guys, I’m serious!”

“It’s kinda unfair that you’re not like us.” Taeyong commented, standing at the control panel. “But you can be, even if it’s just a little bit. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Taeyong… what are you talking about?”

“Don’t be scared.”

You had never seen the full extent of what went on in this room, or how things worked, but when these tendrils appeared from the top and bottom of the pod you began to freak out.

“Taeyong! Let me out!”

None of them listened as those tendrils wrapped around your limbs and pulled them taut. You were fully restrained in a matter of seconds, and no one seemed concerned about the situation besides yourself.

“That’s enough! Stop it! I’m not supposed to be in here!”

“You’ll be fine, we promise.”

“Taeyong… I don’t know what’s the meaning of this but-”

Your words were cut short as you felt this sharp pain in the back of your neck. You screamed and thrashed with what little movement you had. Then everything cut to black.

🖤

You jolted awake in your seat, frantically looking around and realizing where you were. The maintenance shop was quiet, and the scene was all too familiar. The boys were sleeping in their pods, and the technician was gone. The first thing you did was run for the door, stopping only when you realized it was open. You stood in the doorway for a moment, questioning everything. If that had all been some nightmare, it was incredibly vivid. Then you remembered how it ended and reached up to your neck. You didn’t feel anything wrong, and there wasn’t any pain either. Clearly you were stressed beyond what you even realized. It further made you question whether or not you should continue with the job. 

Either way, you should go home now, so you grabbed your things and quietly made your exit. Even if it was just some messed up bad dream, it lingered in your mind. You couldn’t make sense of it no matter how hard you tried. So it was better to just focus on work. The boys were their usual self and nothing was really out of the ordinary. Of course because of that dream there was this weariness that lingered in the back of your mind, but it wasn’t fair to treat them differently just cause you had a nightmare involving them. It was all so confusing and messing with your head, but you did your best not to make them feel guilty over something that never happened. Soon enough the dream would fade and it wouldn’t even bother you anymore.

“Y/n! Can we have icees after our schedule today?”

“Huh? Oh, sure, I’ll prepare some.”

“Thanks!”

They really liked the icees so they asked for it more often. At first you gave it to them as a reward or for celebration, but since they loved it so much you started making it for them whenever they asked.

“Y/n, can I borrow your phone?”

“Huh? Why?”

“I’m bored, and I know you have games.”

“But don’t you… wait, you said you didn’t have phones.”

“Yeah, so can I borrow yours? Please, pretty please? I’ll give it back later.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Awesome, you’re the best!”

Sometimes it was easy to forget the boys didn’t have basic things like a phone. By now yours was full of apps and they’d play between schedules. Although sometimes they’d drag you into some other games, wanting to hang out and be normal like everyone else. You enjoyed playing games with them, and when they asked you to dance you joined them. They liked to teach you their dances and you were more than happy to learn. Even though there was that mishap with Taeyong before, you seemed to be growing closer with the boys.

“Y/n, can I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

It was late into the night, and the current schedule had you filming for a music video. They had energy all day long, but you were growing tired from being up all day. You were resting in the dressing room when Jeno came by.

“Could I… have a kiss?”

“What?”

“I want to kiss you, will you let me?”

“Uh…”

“Y/n, can I kiss you?”

“… sure…”

Jeno happily sat down next to you, taking your head into his hands and caressing your cheeks before planting a kiss on your lips.

“So cute.”

“… jeno… you… you shouldn’t-”

“What are you two doing?” Jungwoo walked in. “You should have locked the door, what if the staff caught you?”

“Sorry, I just knew y/n was alone and-”

“I… I should go… I have…”

You got up, intending to go elsewhere but Jeno pulled you back down, having you sit in his lap so he could wrap his arms around you.

“Come on, don’t be like that. Did you like my kiss?”

“I…”

“We can practice some more if it wasn’t good. I want to do better and-”

“I need to leave.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere, okay?”

“… okay…”

Jeno snuggled against you, seeming very content. Then Jungwoo came over, petting your head for a bit.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?”

“Huh?”

“Y/n.”

“Yes, Jungwoo.”

“Would you take us home?”

“I always drive you back to the company.”

“No, no, that place isn’t home. I mean, would you take us to your place?”

“My place? That’s not a good idea.”

“Please. We really want to see your home. We’ll be good, promise.”

“… okay… after we’re done filming… we can go to my place…”

“Great, I’ll tell the others. They’re gonna be so excited.”

The two stayed with you for a bit until they were needed back on set. Once gone you were able to think more about what they asked. It wasn’t a good idea to take them to your place, even if they wanted to see it. At least not at this time. When everything finished up the boys were excited, but you had to break the bad news.

“Look, guys, I know Jungwoo said I was going to take you to my place, but I can’t. It’s late and surely the company would realize I took you elsewhere cause of the tracking-”

“Don’t worry about that.” Taeyong cut in. “So let’s just go, okay?”

“Uh… okay.”

They were all so excited to see where you lived. On the drive there you told yourself it wasn’t that late, and they’d just be over for a little while, so it wouldn’t be a problem. You’d show them around, let them explore and ask questions, then take them back. They were so excited when you showed them the little place you called home. You lived alone, so you didn’t need much, but for them it was probably everything. The only semblance of a home they had ever known was the maintenance shop, so they adored everything about your place. They basically made themselves at home.

“Y/n.”

“Hm? Yes?”

“How come you live here?”

“What do you mean?”

“The company offers housing near the main building. You could move there and be closer to us.” Jisung mentioned. “Then we could come over more often.”

“Oh that, I know about the company housing, but I like it here.”

“You should be closer to us.” Jaemin countered. “You’re gonna be our main manager soon, so you shouldn’t be so far away.”

“I… nothing is official yet, and I’m not-”

“You’re going to be our manager.” Taeyong stated. “There’s no point denying that.”

“I…”

Your head started to feel a bit fuzzy, your vision blurring as well. The boys noticed and had you sit down, one getting you some water.

“It’s best not to argue with us. If you don’t fight us, then there won’t be any pain.”

“… what?”

Despite the headache you were trying to make sense of what was going on. You didn’t understand what they were talking about, but then something came to mind. Maybe that nightmare wasn’t a bad dream after all. You reached up to your neck, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Still, you couldn’t shake this feeling.

“… what… what did you do to me?”

“What are you talking about?” Johnny questioned. “We’re just here-”

“You threw me into one of your pods! And… and… I… I don’t know…”

“Huh, I’m surprised you remember that. You weren’t supposed to.”

“What is going on!?” You jumped to your feet, stepping away from the boys. “What did you do!? My head… everything has been weird lately, and it’s cause you did something!”

“Y/n, calm down, we haven’t done anything.” Jaehyun mentioned. “Are you okay?”

“Stop it! Johnny just admitted to what you did! I just… I don’t…”

“If you think about it too much your head’s just gonna hurt.”

You wanted to get away, but the problem here was that you were trapped. This was your home, and if you just left the boys here you’d be in major trouble. The whole situation was bad, and you had no idea what to do. Something here was very wrong, they did something, yet this innocent act made no sense. You needed to be alone, just to clear your head and then figure out what needed to be done. Except they weren’t gonna let that happen.

“Come here, you don’t have to be scared.”

“No, no, no! Stay back! Don’t come-”

Even if you wanted them to stay away, you couldn’t really run. They easily had you cornered, and before panic could really set in everything kinda stopped. Jisung got close to you first, and when his fingers touched your temple this charge of electricity ran through your head. It was nothing serious, but just enough to discombobulate you. The boys had you sit back down, Jisung keeping a hold of your hand.

“You have to be careful with that, Jisung.” Jeno commented. “If the voltage is too high it could hurt her.”

“I know, that’s why I practiced.”

“Well, a strong enough hit would likely make her forget the last couple of minutes.” Jaemin remarked. “What about the other thing?”

“… I…” You started mumbling. “… I’m scared…”

“No, no, don’t be.” Jungwoo knelt down before you, placing his hands on your knees. “We’re not gonna hurt you. We’re just looking out for you.”

“You know we care about our fans.” Jisung added. “And you’re our special czennie. With you by our side we can have more freedom, just like you want for us, right?”

“… I… yes… but… but… what did you… do… I don’t…”

“It’s nothing harmful, we promise.” Taeyong said. “It’s just a small implant so we can track your vitals and location among other things. Just like what you do for us.”

“… why… did I… do something… bad…?”

“No, of course not. It’s the opposite. We want the same thing, and together we can have it all.”

“… huh…?”

“We know change takes time, but with you on our side it’s possible.”

“For starters you should move closer to the company.” Johnny came over to pet your head. “That way we’d have somewhere else to go that’s company approved. Don’t you want us to have a better space to rest?”

“I… I do…”

“Then, with you as our main manager you could help us get more.” Jaehyun mentioned. “We could get a proper dorm, do some activities outside of comebacks. The company would listen to you more than us about these things.”

“We should help you start packing now.” Jaemin suggested. “The sooner you move the better. That way you won’t be all alone out here either.”

“… wait, wait… that’s-”

You whimpered as your head was starting to hurt. The words all around you weren’t registering properly, but a bit here and there was making sense. Nothing really sounded all that great, but you weren’t sure what you could do to oppose them. You were trying to argue, to make this a discussion and not some demand, but trying to talk hurt. Then the hand on your head sent another electric shock through your body and everything went black.

🖤

You groaned awake, peeking your eyes open and seeing the blurry outline of your room. As you sat up you felt your head spinning, but it soon settled down. You looked over at the time, you woke up before your alarm but there was no point in trying to go back to bed. You got up and got ready for the day, being cautious to avoid the boxes scattered around. It wasn’t just another day, you had important things to do. The commute was the same, but when you got to the company you went to the higher ups. It was about time you gave them an answer. Taking on the position of main manager for NCT would be a big shift for you, but you’d certainly enjoy the pay raise. Even though you’d be doing mostly the same things, the company could start looking for your own assistant manager. On top of that you brought up the company housing.

It would benefit everyone if you were closer, and you certainly wanted a spacious area. The latter could be discussed later, but at least everything was set in motion. The boys were happy to see you so early and when you shared the news they were overjoyed. They volunteered to help you move, but you said you’d have to see cause they couldn’t just be doing things like that, especially so close to the company. Although Jeno brought up the lovely point that you’d be able to sleep in a bit more, and that was truly a blessing. Of course when it was time to move the boys were there despite your protests. They wanted to see your new place, and definitely hang out. They loved it just as much as you did.

“We should totally come here after schedules.” Jaemin said. “Can we keep icees in the freezer!”

“What if she accidentally eats one?” Jungwoo questioned. “She can just make some when we want.”

“Thi is her place.” Jaehyun reminded. “We can’t just impose.”

“You boys are always welcome here.” You offered. “As long as you don’t cause trouble.”

“You know we behave ourselves.” Jeno teased. “It’s how we were made. We can’t possibly do anything wrong.”

“Hm… if you say so.”

“Can we have icees though?” Jisung questioned. “To celebrate your moving day. You have to have one too. What flavor matches? Green apple?”

“Okay, okay, but I need to get some from-”

“We brought some bottles.” Johnny interrupted. “Figured they’d come in handy.”

“Aren’t those supposed to stay at the company when you’re not on schedule?”

“No one’s gonna know as long as we don’t tell.”

“Fine, just have patience.”

“I’ll order your icee then!” Jaemin volunteered. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“It’s on the coffee table.”

“Thanks.”

The boys were certainly making themselves at home, and it was nice to see them being normal. They weren’t just idols here, but seven boys enjoying a nice treat. This was something you had always wanted to see, and it was great to know you helped make this come true. There were lots of good times ahead, and you were eager to see it all.

“She’s so cute when she sleeps.”

Jaemin sat on the floor, watching you sleep on the sofa. It was late into the night, and despite trying to stay awake you eventually dozed off. Jaemin reached over to pet your head, knowing you weren’t gonna wake up anytime soon.

“Don’t idols tend to live with their managers?” Jisung questioned. “Does that mean we can live here with y/n?”

“Easy now. She just got promoted.” Jaehyun reminded. “She has to settle in first before we can talk about that.”

For a long time you dreaded your birthday. Every year that you got older you got closer to something that terrified you. Things were different in the present now. You were free, you were safe, and you weren’t alone. Taemin was by your side. He was a childhood friend. You both grew up together in this community, isolated from the rest of the world. As kids you never really saw a problem with your way of living. Yet as you grew older, understanding more of the world, you began to see how this wasn’t exactly good. You couldn’t leave the community, and the rules were strict on keeping your knowledge of the outside world limited. Even asking about things beyond the community walls was forbidden and taboo. If you didn’t follow the rules or caused trouble, you’d surely be punished.

In theory one might find such a life peaceful and comforting, but there was more going on here. The leader, the high priest, he led the people here to worship this prince of darkness. The thing is, this wasn’t just some manipulation tactic or form of control. It was real, and you had bore witness to it your whole life. The people in the community did not get ill, and any sort of injury healed in a matter of minutes, from minor cuts to broken bones. The crops were always bountiful, and cattle were always healthy and providing. You all lived a good life, but of course such a gift had a price. One person from every generation would be sacrificed when they reached the age of twenty, and it wasn’t a beautiful or peaceful death. The chosen one would be stabbed in the heart with a cursed dagger and left to bleed out in the town center where what was named the fountain of life stood.

At the age of fifteen you were chosen as the sacrifice. It should have been an honor, but you didn’t see it that way, you didn’t want to die. So you made plans to run away. You were careful and took your time, knowing you at least needed to be an adult to really succeed. When you finally turned eighteen you made your move. You had packed some food, figuring out a direction to head in, and intending to sneak away in the night. Yet you barely made it to the perimeter fence when you were discovered. Not by the high priest or one of the others, but your friend, Taemin. You didn’t know what to say to him, you had no idea what he would do, and you were terrified. If you failed to get away you’d never have another chance. Taemin understood immediately what you were doing, and to your own surprise he had no intention of exposing you. Instead, he joined you, and the two of you escaped together.

It certainly wasn’t easy traversing the real world. To you both it was foreign and new, and incredibly dangerous. Still, together you managed to figure things out. You got a job at a warehouse, packaging items and moving boxes around. It was quiet and didn’t require socializing, so it kept you hidden. The last thing you wanted was to draw attention to yourself, and this worked in your favor. Funny enough Taemin worked at the same place, but he was over in the office building. He kept an eye on you and the things around you, acting like a sort of shield. It was nice, and at the end of the day you got to go home together to the apartment you lived in. For the most part your lives were peaceful, and you weren’t constantly looking over your shoulder. A few birthdays came and went without incident, but now that you were approaching the important one you were reminded of the fact that maybe you weren’t as free as you thought.

One night, after a long day at work, your dreams took you somewhere new. You found yourself in an endless void, completely alone. You tried to find someone else, something else, but there was nothing. You ran and ran but the darkness never ended. That was the nightmare at first, but then it began to evolve. After more pointless running you collapsed to catch your breath, only to freeze up when you heard footsteps. You had no idea what that meant, but the sound kept getting closer and closer. You’d tightly shut your eyes, not wanting to see whatever that was, and eventually you’d wake up, but you knew it was only a matter of time before something else happened. Taemin had noticed you weren’t sleeping so well anymore, and when he asked about it you admitted to your recent nightmares. Taemin seemed to understand the cause, and that terrified you.

“Hey, hey, this doesn’t mean anything bad is gonna happen. It’s probably just stress and nothing more.”

“It feels ominous…”

“We’ve lived freely for over two years now, they aren’t going to find us.”

“That’s not who I’m afraid of…”

“Hm?”

“The demon… that’s the one haunting my dreams… that’s the one that’s after me…”

“These are just stress dreams, nothing more. We’ve distanced ourselves from that terrible place, it has no power over us.”

“I was supposed to be the sacrifice… what if that thing marked me somehow?”

“Surely it would have done so way back then and not now.”

“…”

“Y/n, you’re okay, we’re okay. This will all come to pass, you’ll see.”

“I hope so.”

You really wanted to believe Taemin, and for the most part his words did bring you comfort, but the nightmares persisted. You tried running from the footsteps, but they always seemed to be right behind you. Then things changed again. There was silence in the darkness and for a moment you thought things were getting better. 

“Why do you keep running?”

A voice in the darkness sent a chill down your spine. Things were definitely not getting any better. The footsteps started up again, but you shut your eyes and refused to turn around.

“I would never hurt you.”

“… please… please just leave me alone…”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“… why… why me… couldn’t you pick someone else…”

“It was always you, darling, from the very beginning”

You woke with a start, out of breath and taking in your surroundings. Your eyes slowly adjusted and you saw that you were in your room. It was a relief to see things in the dark, assuring you that you were not dreaming. You got out of bed once you felt better, going over to the bathroom to splash water in your face and calm down. Then you felt a sudden pain in your chest. You collapsed to the floor, feeling this burning sensation over your heart. When the pain subsided you got back up, looking in the mirror and seeing this black blotch on your chest, right where your heart was.

“… no… no… no… what is this, what is this!”

You quickly turned on the faucet, trying to rub away the mark as if it was just paint, but nothing happened. Tears blurred your vision but you kept scrubbing, wanting that mark gone by any means. Your commotion must have been loud as moments later Taemin burst into your room and found you. At first you tried to hide yourself, but he wasn’t going to let you. He forced you to face him and saw what was happening.

“… what… what is that…?”

“I… I don’t know… it just appeared…”

You admitted to Taemin what had happened in your recent dream. About that demon speaking to you, telling you that there was no escape. You fully broke down speaking this all out loud. Taemin cradled you in his arms, trying to comfort you, but he knew that wasn’t going to be easy. As much as he tried to assure you that nothing bad was going to happen, this certainly wasn’t a good sign.

“It’s gonna be okay, no one’s going to hurt you, you’re not gonna be some sacrifice.”

“… I’m scared…”

“I know, but I’m right here with you.”

You didn’t know how long the two of you just stayed together. Your chest hurt from trying to get the mark off, and the tears kept flowing for a while. You exhausted yourself and somehow fell asleep, for once not dreaming of anything at all. It was actually the best sleep you had in a while, but unfortunately, in the morning the mark was still there. Last night wasn’t a really bad dream, it was real. You tried not to dwell on the situation but it lingered in the back of your mind and kept you on edge. Taemin was well aware of this too, insisting that you sleep with him. It did help keep the nightmares away, but it didn’t change your reality. With your birthday approaching you only got more worried.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else for your birthday.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s go out of town, go far away, even if for a while.”

“I like that idea.”

“Cool. You should pick a place and we can make plans from there.”

“Alright.”

On your day off you looked into places to go. A few caught your eye and you made notes, wanting Taemin’s input as well. You were more tired than you knew and wound up falling asleep for a bit. Without Taemin around you found yourself back in the nightmarish void. The second you heard those footsteps you ran, but just like countless times before you were being chased. This time around your running did take you somewhere new. Since you couldn’t see where you were going you wound up falling into this black pool. You knew how to swim, yet this water seemed alive in its own way, keeping you from getting back on your feet.

“Please! Please, I don’t want to die!”

“Who says you were going to die?”

“Stop! I know… I’ve seen it… I don’t want to die… please… please just let me live…”

“I’ve never forgotten your words of devotion. So kind, so beautiful, just like you. What happened to all that love?”

“I was a child! I didn’t know any better! I… I was afraid…”

“You still are.”

“… please… please…”

“You have nothing to fear from me.”

You couldn’t believe such words, and it all felt so hopeless. You kept trying to escape, to break free, but instead the water seemed to wrap around your body, dragging you into its endless depths. When you went under you woke up screaming, desperately gasping in air.

“Y/n, y/n!”

Taemin heard you from the other room and came running over. He quickly pulled you into his arms, trying to calm you down.

“Easy, easy, you’re okay, you’re okay. I’m here, nothing happened.”

You definitely didn’t want to sleep again, so you opted to just watch TV. Taemin stayed by your side, messing around with your hair and trying to help you relax. Peaceful moments like this were what you needed, and what you hoped would remain when this was all over. Later on you two discussed your plans for the big day. You did decide to travel, planning to head out early tomorrow morning and go to a certain place for lunch and then another for dinner. You laid out the whole plan, knowing to be cautious, even if it was your special day. Besides that you wanted to stay up until midnight, so it was best to sleep early. With Taemin around you didn’t have nightmares and you could kinda look forward to the day to come. Afterall Taemin would certainly do whatever he could to make the day wonderful and make you smile.

“Happy Birthday!”

You were up early the next morning, and after washing up Taemin surprised you with a muffin and a candle. He sang for you, bringing a smile to your face.

“The actual cake will be later, but I wanted to start celebrating right away.”

“Thank you, Taemin.”

“Go on, you can make a mini wish and blow out the candle. I’ll do my best to grant it.”

“This is already a good start.”

More than anything you wished for this day to be simple and happy, but the muffin was meant for a small wish. So you wished for Taemin to stay by your side, always, but today more than anything. You blew out the candle and Taemin handed over your little treat.

“I’ll take our stuff down to the car.”

“Alright. I’ll finish cleaning up so we can get going.”

“Awesome.”

You finish up your muffin and grab the bags by the door, heading down to the building parking lot. The sun had yet to peek over the horizon but there was some light in the sky, just enough to see. The day looked to be a pretty one. As you were putting the bags in the car you suddenly felt these eyes on you. When you looked around it seemed that no one else was present, but something didn’t feel right. Maybe you shouldn’t have come down by yourself. Regardless, you did your best to remain calm and make your way back to the apartment. After a few steps you heard another set of footsteps behind you. Despite your better judgement you broke out into a run, screaming, but someone was quick to catch up and muffle you. That didn’t stop you from trying to fight back, but soon enough others showed up, dragging you along elsewhere.

“Taemin!”

You managed to make one feeble cry for help, but it was truly a desperate attempt. Much of the world wasn’t awake at these hours, and Taemin wasn’t exactly close by. You were properly gagged after that stunt, feeling some rope around your wrists being used to tie your hands behind your back. You kept struggling, growing desperate with every passing moment. Then there was a second of relief.

“Y/N!”

Hearing Taemin’s voice, looking over to see him running in your direction, the world seemed to slow down for a bit. At least you weren’t alone anymore, but his appearance seemed to bring more trouble. A bag was suddenly placed over your head, and you felt more hands on you. These people lifted you off the ground, and your thrashing only got more violent. That is until you heard a gunshot. Your body stopped, dread seeping into every bit of your body. You screamed through the gag, fearing the worst, and so focused on what might have happened that you didn’t really notice the pinch on your arm. It wasn’t until you were starting to fall asleep that you realized you had been sedated. The adrenaline running through your system wasn’t enough to counteract the drug, but you still fought back. You didn’t want to slip into darkness, but at the same time you weren’t sure you could handle knowing what happened with that gun shot.

🖤

“Taemin!”

You jolted awake, looking around frantically as you took in your surroundings. You weren’t sure what to expect, but being surrounded by the familiarity of your own living room was rather confusing. This didn’t make sense, and then you heard noise coming from down the hall, seeing Taemin.

“You’re awake.”

“You’re alive!”

You quickly got up and ran to hug him, losing your footing a bit from the rapid movement. Taemin managed to catch you though, holding you tight. You were still processing, suddenly remembering the gunshot and pulling back, frantically examining Taemin.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I heard the gun and-”

You froze when Taemin took your head in his hands, forcing your gaze to meet his. Worry reflected in his eyes.

“I’m alright, but what about you? I thought… I thought I was hearing things, but something told me to check on you…”

“I… I’m okay… I just… I was so scared…”

“Me too, but we’re okay. I got you.”

Taemin pulled you back into his arms, holding you close and cradling your head. You were both glad the other was okay, but the whole morning had certainly ruined the day. The sun was already high in the sky, so your original plans were cancelled.

“Taemin…”

“Hm?”

“What happened…”

“They missed, but the gunfire was loud and police were called. They showed up quickly and took care of the situation. I didn’t want to take you away from home after all that, besides, the police are still lingering around, so it’s safer here. I am sorry though.”

“For what?”

“Your day got ruined…”

“I mean… it’s been ruined for years in all honesty, as long as I have you, that’s good enough for me.”

“I feel the same way.” Taemin pet your head. “We should get some actual food though, do you want to order in? You can also pick what kind of cake you want. We can order a chocolate one, a cream one, an ice cream one, whatever you want.”

“Hm, let’s eat first and figure out the cake later.”

“Sounds good.”

You didn’t mind staying home, it did feel safe, and with police around you could let your guard down a bit more. As long as you made it to midnight, you’d be alright. Sleeping again wasn’t an option you wanted to consider so you figured a movie marathon was a fun way to spend the day. There were a bunch of films you wanted to catch up on, so this worked out. You ordered some food and enjoyed your lazy day with Taemin. This was more than enough, and it got you thinking about something. You and Taemin weren’t anything official, yet you were rather close for being just friends. It was a conversation neither of you ever brought up, but you wanted to. Maybe not right now, but when this whole day was over with. That way you could mark your survival with the beginning of a new chapter in your life.

At some point there was a knock at the door, which startled you, but Taemin assured you it was just the cake he had ordered. You decided to let him choose the cake, and he knew what you liked, so you were curious to see what he got, but you’d let that be a surprise for later. From the comfort of your apartment you both watched the sunset. It was always pretty, but this one meant more, and you were greatly looking forward to sunrise. Since night had fallen Taemin figured it was time for cake. You stayed put as he went to get everything ready, closing your eyes when he asked you to. Moments later he began to sing and you opened your eyes, seeing the cake in his hands. You listened joyfully as he sang for you, his smile just as bright as yours. Now it was time to make a real wish and you knew exactly what it was. You took a moment to make the wish in your heart and then blew out the candles. Since it was a small cake just for the two of you it didn’t need to be cut into slices, the two of you just dug in with some utensils.

“What did you wish for?”

“You know I’m not supposed to say.”

“Well I promise to make it come true.”

“You don’t know what it is.”

“As long as I make sure you live a good and happy life, I’m sure I can make all your dreams come true.”

You smiled and leaned against Taemin, getting another mouthful of cake. It wasn’t midnight yet, but you didn’t want to wait much longer to say what you wanted to. The only problem was your nerves. Between eating cake and watching TV you were working up the courage to express your feelings. This was long overdue, but you were still struggling. You didn’t think Taemin would reject you but the possibility was still there. You glanced outside at the night sky, reminded of the day and the importance of it. You had done crazier things just to survive, and this was just another crazy thing to do, one you could do too.

“Taemin…”

“Hm?”

“I wanted to… talk to you… about something…”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Uh… well…”

Taemin realized you were struggling with your words and muted the TV, giving you his full attention. That didn’t help calm you down, but you weren’t gonna back out now.

“I wanted to ask if-”

The words suddenly caught in your throat. For a second you thought it was nerves, but you suddenly felt this pain in your chest. You soon realized it was that mark on your chest that was burning, yet there was more. Something was stuck in your throat, and you soon found yourself coughing up blood. When you saw the red stain your eyes went wide with panic and fear. Your worst nightmare was coming true.

“… no… no…”

“Y/n!”

Taemin’s voice was muffled, and your vision was blurring. You fell to your hands and knees, but instead of feeling the hard floor beneath you, the ground was wet. You couldn’t properly understand the sensation, but your vision was losing focus on everything. You thought Taemin would help you, but you never felt his touch. As your vision blurred your surroundings seemed to change as well. You weren’t at your apartment anymore, but water seemed to surround you, making you grow cold. Muffled voices began to fade in and you desperately tried to focus your strength. You glanced up, seeing you were no longer home, but somewhere else entirely. At first it seemed foreign but as your vision cleared in waves you could see where you were. It was the last place you ever wanted to be.

Now that you understood where you were, it made no sense. Moments ago you were at home with Taemin, and now you found yourself on your hands and knees in the fountain of life. Although you didn’t really have time to understand what was happening. Realizing where you were brought attention to something else. You were losing strength but you still looked down at your chest, seeing the truth. There was a dagger in your heart, and you were bleeding out. That was the pain you had felt all along. You coughed up more blood, collapsing into the water. Blurry figures were around, all watching you, and you knew no one was going to help you. This fate was what you had tried to run away from, yet it still caught you in the end. You had no idea how it happened, and it didn’t stop the tears slipping down your cheeks. You wanted Taemin, you wanted to know if he was okay, if he was alive, but there was nothing you could do now but embrace your destiny.

🖤

“Happy Birthday, My Love.”

You inhaled sharply as you regained consciousness, soon coughing up blood and water. Your senses weren’t all there, but you couldn’t ignore the pain in your chest. Without any hesitation you reached for the dagger in your heart and pulled it out. For a moment you stared at the instrument stained with your blood, not truly understanding how you could do such a thing. You should be dead, yet you seemed to be alive despite everything that happened. You dropped the dagger, noticing the water in the fountain had turned black. Although your attention soon turned to the crowd around the fountain. You were surrounded by unfortunately familiar faces, and they were all staring in shock. This wasn’t supposed to happen, it never had before.

“What is the meaning of this!?” The high priest’s voice drew attention. “How are you alive!?”

“I-”

“Who are you to question me?”

That dark voice cut through all the commotion, causing silence to fall. The water in the fountain began to move, a bunch of bubbles rising from one area. Something was coming, the demon was coming. You needed to get out of the fountain yet when you tried to move you couldn’t. You looked down to see the black water rising up your legs and holding you in place. Your heart was pounding in your chest, realizing you were stuck here and had no choice but to witness what came next. This whole thing felt like one of your nightmares, like the next chapter. You stood in that cursed fountain, watching as something began to rise from the water, and when you saw what it was you did not understand it at all.

“… taemin…?”

Out of the water Taemin seemed to rise. You were still trying to process, but the first thing you noticed was the rips in his clothes. They were bullet holes, multiple ones. 

“… how… what…”

“You’re supposed to be dead!” The high priest proclaimed. “The both of you!”

“That is not my will.” 

“What?”

“Do you not recognize the one you’ve worshipped for the entirety of your existence?”

The demon stepped closer and closer to the edge of the fountain. The eyes were completely black and even though Taemin’s lips were moving, the voice that you heard was not his own. It was that of a demons, the demon that had been haunting you and hunting you all this time. This wasn’t your Taemin, but that demon using his face. It broke your heart to see him like this and you couldn’t stand it.

“Get out of him!” You screamed. “Leave Taemin out of this! He doesn’t-”

Your voice made the demon stop in its tracks and turn to you. The darkness in their eyes disappeared and for a moment you could believe that was your Taemin. He smiled at you just like always, coming over to you.

“It’s me, y/n, I’m right here.”

“… no… no, you’re not Taemin! You-”

“It’s okay, y/n.” Taemin took your head in his hands. “I’m okay.”

“… no… you… they… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… this is all my fault…”

“It’s not, don’t say that.”

“I… I got you killed… I-”

“No, no, no, you did nothing wrong. I’m not dead, these mortals could do me no harm. I’ve just been trying to protect you.”

“… what?”

“Your birthday was supposed to be special. Yet these fools ruined everything.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I was going to explain everything after your-”

“What is the meaning of this!”

The voice of the high priest drew both your attention. You were still terrified and not understanding what was going on, but Taemin, or this demon, seemed annoyed. The darkness returned to Taemin’s eyes. He stepped in front of you, glaring at the high priest. Then his gaze swept over to the crowd gathered around.

“Kneel, and I’ll consider sparing your lives.”

“Who are you to-”

“KNEEL!”

The loud voice startled everyone, and some fell to their knees in fear. You would have too, but you were still stuck in place. The high priest was one of those that held their ground though, further annoying the demon.

“For generations I have given so much to this little congregation. You’ve reaped from the fruits of my power in exchange for what? Your eternal worship? Your undying devotion? Your souls?” The demon laughed. “I’ve grown tired of this, so I left with what was mine. I showed you mercy by leaving you alive, yet you had to ruin it all.”

It seemed that those words finally got through. Not to mention the fact the clear skies were becoming clouded, and the wind was picking up. Those who were still standing fell to their knees, including the high priest.

“Your highness, please, we merely did as you asked.”

“I don’t recall commanding you to hunt down anyone.”

“That child was your chosen sacrifice, if we did not offer them up to you, we’d surely face your wrath.”

“As you are now. That child was gone for years and yet you only found them now? It sounds like you weren’t even trying.”

“Forgive us, we were only trying to do right by you.”

“Indeed. I’m the one at fault here for believing I could leave you breathing.”

“… your highness…?”

“If I truly want to be done with this place, I must reduce it to nothing.”

“… your highness… we have-”

“I’ll be quick.”

A sword made of black flames materialized in Taemin’s hand, his clothes beginning to change as well. You watched as he basically transformed into this elegant figure, dressed in what you could only describe as royal attire, completely black with bits of red here and there. He looked so different, yet in that outfit you could truly believe him to be the prince of darkness you worshipped in your early years. You snapped out of it as you saw Taemin stepping towards the crowd around the fountain.

“No! Wait! Don’t-”

“You don’t need to worry. I won’t hurt you.”

Before you could say anything more you felt this force pull you under. The fountain itself wasn’t that deep, yet you were completely submerged. That should have given you a hint as to what was really happening, but you were more focused on the fact you couldn’t hold your breath underwater for that long. The surface was so close and you swam up to reach it only to find yourself trapped. Instead of breaking through the water your hands pressed against some invisible wall, keeping you under. You began to panic, moving around and trying to find some way to break through. Your chest was starting to burn and you began to wonder if this was to be your true end. You tried to hold out for as long as you could but eventually you had to breathe.

People said drowning could be peaceful, but when you finally let the water in nothing happened. Instead you found yourself breathing normally. You didn’t understand how this was possible. You were underwater, you felt the cold all around you, yet you could breathe just fine. You examined yourself, but you hadn’t magically grown gills. This didn’t make sense, maybe you were dreaming, but either way you weren’t fearing for your life anymore. Then you heard screams. You knew where they were coming from above the water, but you couldn’t see anything from down here. As you looked around you couldn’t even tell where the edge of the fountain was. Wherever you were, it appeared vast and endless, so you figured it was best to just stay put and wait to see what happened. Your gaze returned to the surface that was just out of reach, seeing the sky above covered in storm clouds.

It was calm and quiet for a moment, then bright strikes of lightning filled the sky. An ominous feeling began to take hold. You couldn’t just remain complacent, you had to do something. So you tried again to break through to the surface, but you were still trapped. You were screaming underwater, not knowing what was going on just out of view. There was no sense of time down there, so you couldn’t tell how long you had been underwater. You still kept trying, so unaware of the looming shadow approaching you. Next thing you knew something wrapped around your wrist and pulled you out of the water with ease. Your full body was lifted above the water and slowly let down, and when you felt the ground you saw the water was just barely above your ankles. Although you soon realized your surroundings had changed.

The buildings of this place were on fire. A raging storm of flames had engulfed everything, and then you noticed the bodies on the floor. During the sacrificial ritual everyone wore white, so you could clearly see the stains of red that decorated the ground. You could still hear faint screams in the distance, but the shock of it all kept you in place. This was a massacre, that demon that everyone had once worshipped was truly burning this all to the ground. You didn’t know what to do anymore, you didn’t know what any of this meant. A shaky hand reached up to your chest. You could see the tear in your clothes, but there was no wound in your chest. Even that dark mark had completely disappeared. You were perfectly fine, but you weren’t sure if this was real life or some messed up afterlife.

“You’re alive and well, I assure you.”

That haunting voice drew your attention, and you turned back to see Taemin approaching the fountain, approaching you. Despite the chaos around, the disaster he had caused, he seemed perfectly fine. His clothes remained pristine, and not a single strand of hair was out of place. He stood at the edge of the fountain, holding his hand out to you. The darkness in his eyes faded and you could see your Taemin once more, but you didn’t want to believe that was the person you had known all these years. Instead you fell to your knees, bowing your head.

“Your highness… please have mercy.”

“I said I wasn’t going to hurt you, and you can just call me Taemin.”

You shook your head. “That wouldn’t be appropriate.”

Tears were running down your cheeks as fear was taking hold. All of this was so cruel, and to leave you as the last one alive, it was horrific. You didn’t want to die here, let alone like this, but it was weighing on you that you couldn’t escape your fate. 

“Y/n, it’s me.”

Another force suddenly pulled you forward and onto your feet until you were at the edge of the fountain standing before Taemin. The smile on his face, the shine in his eyes. He was Taemin, he looked so much like him but you couldn’t believe it, you didn’t want to.

“What… what happened to Taemin…”

“Y/n, it’s always been me, this is who I am.”

“… I don’t understand…”

“Like I said before, I’ve gotten tired of this place, so I intended to leave. You see, I didn’t choose you as a sacrifice, but my final offering. All these years I had seen mortals care for one another, love each other, yet it wasn’t the same as the worship I received. Those feelings were never real, and I wanted something real. I should have something for myself after all this, to have made it worth all those years. So I chose to live among this congregation, and you were quite lovely.”

“… you… there… there was never… I… your highness I apologize for not-”

“Sh, sh, sh, there’s no need for any of that. I wanted you to know me as I am, and I wanted to know you as well.”

“… I’m sorry…”

“What are you apologizing for now?”

“… running…”

“Ah, that.” Taemin chuckled. “We had so much fun here. We made a lot of good memories, I genuinely didn’t know the thought of running away had crossed your mind. That night I just knew something was off with you, and when I found you trying to escape, I was rather impressed. In a way we both had the same idea.”

Taemin reached over to take your hand, gently pulling you along so you’d get out of the fountain. As you stepped out your clothes seemed to return to their normal state, and his clothes returned to normal as well. 

“You wanted to leave this place as much as I did, so it was only right to run away together. If I had things my way, we never would have come back.”

“… if… if that’s all true… then why… the nightmares… the mark… why would you do that…?”

“I’m sorry. In order for you to truly be mine, somethings couldn’t be avoided. Like the mark, and your death.”

“I… I died… I-”

“Sh, sh, sh, you’re okay now, you’re alive. You were always going to live. My original plan was to complete the sacrifice while you were in a deep sleep, that way you’d never know or feel pain, but these pathetic mortals had to ruin everything.”

“So… I… I never escaped… I was always… going to die…”

“I was hoping to soothe you in your dreams, but your fears made it difficult and I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry for everything.”

“I still don’t… understand… you… Taemin… you’re the prince of darkness… a powerful demon…?”

“Yes.”

“All those years…”

“I heard everything you ever told me.” Taemin chuckled. “You were so adorable as a child.”

“And you… ran away from this place… with me?”

“It does sound funny when you think about it. A demon running away from those that worship it in order to live in peace with a mortal. I did intend to tell you the truth eventually, but I wanted this all to come to pass first.”

“Taemin?”

“Yes.”

“Do you… care about me?”

Taemin smiled. “Always. Shall we continue where we left off? You had something to tell me.”

“I… I…”

“I know what was on your mind, and the feeling is mutual, but I would like to hear you say it.”

“All our time together… was any of it real?”

“Every moment. My heart is yours, just as your heart is mine.”

Taemin still had your hands in his. The touch was familiar and gentle. Your gaze swept your surroundings, seeing the fire all around, yet it wasn’t all that terrifying. This sense of calm was starting to wash over you. Then you met Taemin’s eyes. They weren’t black, they were him, you could see your Taemin in that moment. Maybe everything was true. The dark prince you were told to worship and love in your youth turned out to genuinely love you back. It really did sound silly, and perhaps you were just as silly to believe it. Even if you were still trying to understand everything, you couldn’t just deny all the years you spent with Taemin, and all the things you felt. Despite standing in this awful place engulfed in flames, nothing between you and Taemin had really changed.

“… tae… Taemin…”

“Yes?”

“Can we go home now?”

“Of course.”

You walked with Taemin, hand in hand, the fire around you not hurting or burning, but providing this warmth. You weren’t running away from this place again, you were walking out with no burdens on your shoulder. You squeezed Taemin’s hand tightly. It would still take time to understand all that happened tonight, and what you had been told, but if you still had Taemin, then you felt that you could trust things to be alright. The trip home was long, but it gave you time to think and process. It kind of felt like a dream, but when you got home that place brought you back to reality. It was familiar, it was comforting, and it grounded you in the real world. You were tired from the trip, yet you weren’t going to sleep just yet. The lights slowly began to dim and you turned around to see Taemin holding a cake.

“We didn’t do this properly last time.”

“… when I thought you saved me from the kidnapping… was all that just some hallucination?”

“A sweet dream so you wouldn’t be afraid until I could get to you.”

“So the bullets… they didn’t really kill you… they just hurt a lot, huh?”

“You could say that. Let’s do it right this time.”

Taemin began to sing, and you saw the candles light themselves. This felt much better, and it felt right, as if some veil had finally been lifted. A real birthday you could actually enjoy. You blew out the candles with a big smile on your face, and Taemin smiled bright too. Of course this new future was filled with unknowns, but you had a feeling it would be okay with Taemin at your side.

“Taemin…”

“Yes?”

“I’m not dreaming right… this isn’t some kind of afterlife or fantasy in my head… is it?”

“This is very real. We’re both free.”

“… free…”

“Whatever you want to do, let’s do it.”

“Right now… I just want cake and my bed… with you.”

“We can do that.”

You chuckled. “Taemin.”

“Hm?”

“I… I think I like you… a lot…”