Many, Many Days

Today was the inevitable

We knew it was coming.

But it doesn’t mean we wanted it.

In a way we did.

She was suffering

And didn’t remember us,

Bed ridden

And lonely.

But not anymore.

This doesn’t mean we’ll stop loving you.

This doesn’t mean we’ll forget you.

You’ll always be my memory,

You’ll always be in my life.

There’s so much of her in me

That it would be impossible

That she has ended.

I’m proud of it

And I’ll cherish it.

For now it’s goodbye on this planet

But it will never be goodbye in our hearts.

I love you so much.

Don’t forget it

High expectations

Is what I want.

It feels wrong to think

That I’m the common denominator

With how projects turn out,

Because I don’t know

How other teams without me do,

I can’t help but always see competition

I know we’re on the same team

And I know his success is mine,

But I also feel like I have to prove myself

Good to see

And good to know

Couldn’t have been too much

I would say I’m fine

Without being recognized.

But today seemed like

Too good of a time not to be.

Too many people,

In the right mood,

Ready to be impressed.

Well I passed

This right of passage,

Does that mean I’m in?

Now to think my plan

Depending on how this goes

I can see myself here.

They’re doing what I want,

And they started where I am.

It’s all very possible.

We’ll see how this goes

I wonder if everyday,

Something will remind me

Of how it should have been

And I’ll have to fight

I’ve talked it out

And I can’t tell how I really feel,

Because I’m making myself feel

A certain, non-destructive way.

Am I really over it,

I can’t be disappointed

Because this is still cool,

But I guess I’m jealous

That I don’t get to do

What they get to do.

This will probably be better,

I’m dreaming of what I really want.

I know the perks of what I have,

But I still want different.

I can’t even say

I’m being picky or ungrateful,

It what everyone would want,

And what a lot are getting.

I want it.

I know I do.

I know it will be a lot of work.

I don’t think I’m quite ready for it

I need a little more proof

Before jumping head first.

But if this was normal,

I would be all for it!

I just want it to be normal.

Not too much

And not not enough.

We won’t get sick of each other

And we won’t be too alone.

This will work better

Than any year before.

Compliments and insult go hand in hand

Especially when the negative

Leads to a positive.

Yes I may have this trait,

But it will do me good eventually.

I’ll win,

It’s good to be back

With little changes.

I know there’s always going to be

And thought in the back of my head

Saying it can’t be normal.

But it’s as close as it’s going to get for now.

And I’m okay with that.

This is good,