Life is a love letter

Being where you spent so much time, your fingerprints on everything, your mind on display I feel overwhelmed.

I miss you.

I always will.

I try to take deep breaths, but I can't.

I try to sleep, but my mind won't let me.

No matter how prepared I was, I would never have been ready.

I will always carry you inside me.

Does one have to muddy the waters and seek why?

A soothing word, a kind hand in the moment, can make a difference.

DO NOT keep those feelings quiet.

Better to say it too much, than too little.

The deeper inside you I go, the less of me I feel.

The moments I look into your eyes, I need to pull away.

It isn't because of you I see, but it's because I know you see me as I am.

Vulnerability floods though my mind.

My heart begins to pound from insecure impulses.

Even if you need to suck in that stinging breath and pretend....

Never let someone that loves you see you quit the fight.

Never let them feel anything other than unwavering support.

Real love will have hard moments.

To be able to slow my minds thoughts, to be able to grow after my trust has been ripped away to the bone.

Only, my mind won't stop, can't stop, when it has its been memorable and the results are almost impossible to replicate.

The hope I have at the beginning of the day, wears down with every passing thought.

I stay distracted with work, with others, with things I can't ignore, yet.... At night... When all that is quiet, or gone....that's when I plummet.

My thoughts slice through me, i feel them bruise me, cut me, circle me.