My Untamed Plot Bunnies

Oh no! Your sect fucked up for the third time this month and ordered too much alcohol and not enough food with your budget to feed everyone? Hmm. I wonder who did that? Wouldn’t it be a shame if they mysteriously died of some rare and exotic poison that doesn’t even exist in this province. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you all were just refused aid and support until you pledged fealty to him to fix your mistakes and put someone responsible in charge of the sect after weeding out all of the corrupt problems. Wouldn’t it be a shame if others tried to send them aid and supplies, but those caravans kept going missing? Wouldn’t it be horrible if SQH gets so sick of the world he created that he accidentally becomes the sect war lord.

He just thinks he is helping by showing others the consiquences of their actions(reguardless of how powerful they are, because he knows each and every single one of their secrets and how to make them fall) just long enough to get them to recognize the errors of their ways and come crawling back to him for help.

The others in his sect aren’t stupid enough to correct him about this, and are honestly a little in awe at his brutality and how they have less stuff to fix retroactively.

He tells Cucumber so in a drunken, late night anger response post to a comment with nothing but cheep booze and ramen fueling his rage.

Cucumber almost immediately replies and states that he would pay him. Quite a lot, actually. To write a better plot if he could, which he mockingly doubts.

Tired and exhausted from a late night working, SQH crashes at his good cucumber bro’s to complain about what a harsh task master MBJ is, and how he needs a vacation. He steals SQQ’s tea. Shen Qingqiu, being a tolerant friend, just waves him on, because what’s one stolen cup of tea between bros?

Months pass and LBH becomes more and more concerned as to why SQQ isn’t showing. At the same time, SQH is concerned about the weight he is gaining for no reason considering he doesn’t even eat regularly.

MBJ is the first to realize what happened when he A) notices his SQH smells like he is carrying a child and B) realizes that SQH smells like he is carrying LBH’s child?! How dare LBH lay a hand on his beloved!

Fights, insanity, and crack filled chaos ensues.

SQH is, surprisingly, very okay with being unexpectedly pregnant and looks forward to giving this new life a chance at happiness he never knew growing up with a loving family. It’s also kind of an honor since accidental pregnancy/baby acquisition are two of his favorite tropes (along with Mpreg).

Binghe is offended: “He stole the tea! It was a special brew for Shizun!”

Shen Qingqiu smacks him with a fan: “Why were you trying to impregnate your teacher in the first place, you little beast?!”

MBJ’s instincts take over and he starts nesting with SQH… and LBH because he needs to take responsibility for his actions and the nest doesn’t smell right without them in it as well. Which drags SQQ along because he feels partially responsible for how unhinged LBH is about him, as well as wants to support his bro through the pregnancy.

Of course, that is exactly when Shen Qingqiu rounds the corner and sees him standing, guiltily in front of his door with a still sealed letter in his hands that he is fumbling to hide. Shen Qingqiu comes to the incorrect conclusion that the multiple letters he has found over the past several months full of poetic verses and flowery messages of secret and forbidden love is from Shang Qinghua. Knowing how SQH dies in the original, Cucumber decides to accept the romance (maybe Sqh is a traitor because he was rejected harshly by the original Shen Qinghua and nobody knew?) and pursue relationship with this unexpected secret admirer.

Airplane has no clue what exactly is going on when he gets forcefully told by the scum villain of his original story that he will be his boyfriend moving forward in a sharp way that brooks no arguments. Honestly, he is too scared to fight him on it, even when he is whisked away on their first date that very second and sees LBH watch them go from the bushes with a very foreboding look.

LBH decides the best way to get back at his master for clearly rebuking his affections by dating that rat SQH, is to seduce SQH away from SQQ and publicly humiliate him for cheating on his SQQ, who he will clearly swoop in and console after.

Through a series of misunderstandings with palace staff, Mobei Jun becomes involved and lets his disgust at the abandonment of a child be known to his servant, who continues to disgustingly deny the child is his until Mobei Jun offers him several incentives to admit to and take responsibility for ‘his’ child. Shang Qinghua finally claims the child as his, lying and admitting that he didn’t want to accept responsibility for a child of mixed blood especially considering the dangerous position he is in as a spy/informant and crying pitifully when the incentives go from money and rooms and equipment to violent threats to end his life sooner than expected. He also hopes taking this child as his responsibility may lessen the likelihood of being killed by his king.