M.W. Oceanborn 🌙

I haven't been here in ages. There's no time, I keep forgetting, but recently I've felt so empty and angry with no room for letting my feelings out. And maybe Tumblr can give me some free space or something, idk.

I am mostly happy. I've married my best friend and boyfriend of ten years, we have two beautiful children and I love them so much. I have a job I love and the best teammates, and we live in such a beautiful place in the forest.

But there's something missing. Last year I discovered Glee, and it hit me so so freaking hard. I mean I love this show so much and I am so devastated that Cory passed before the series ended. I still have season six to watch, but I'm saving it. Glee has punched a new life in my emotional spectrum and it really means a lot to me. So any Glee fans around? I know I'm ten years late, but still.

Glee has helped me to start singing again and allow myself to embrace my feelings, because I feel like I've been so numb lately, that there's no room for my emotions because I contain everybody else's feelings at work (children and families that struggle) and at home, with two toddlers and a husband with a sick mother. I'm just... Who am I right now? I'm scared that I might get depressed again, I'm scared that I don't take enough care of myself, I'm scared that I'm not a good enough mother and wife.

I'm happy that we've sold for a good price.

I'm glad that we don't have to meet any more strangers who wants to check out our home and see if they want to buy it.

I'm sad that we're leaving this house in just little over a month.

I'm devastated that I have to leave this place, this is my home.

I'm super excited about moving back to a farm again, where you can't see the neighbours and our home being in the middle of the forest.

And I am super scared of moving again. Packing and unpacking. Throwing away things. Buying new stuff. Stressing and crying and longing and waiting.

I'm doing alright

So much has happened

I'm a mother now

My baby girl is nine months

I love her so so much

We've bought a small farm

In a few years I'll have chickens and some piglets

Next year I'm finishing school and getting my bachelor degree

And we're getting married

Our wedding will be sensational, The Greatest Showman way

Life is mostly good. I'm not looking forward to moving, when I moved from my childhood home I faced an exhausting depression. But it's just phase and I hope it will go smoothly.

I'm going to play Kingdom Hearts now

Maybe I'll drop by again soon