Dog: I'm a sleeve hater with very high standards, alright? If I'm gonna be displaying these deadly weapons I wanna do it in a nice case, y'know?
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Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle

PR's Tumblrdome
Xuebing Du

roma★
YOU ARE THE REASON
Game of Thrones Daily

shark vs the universe
NASA
Keni
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Kiana Khansmith
untitled
One Nice Bug Per Day

Product Placement
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
★

titsay
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States

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@murder-quotes
Dog: I'm a sleeve hater with very high standards, alright? If I'm gonna be displaying these deadly weapons I wanna do it in a nice case, y'know?

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Dog: did you let ursa have a gun?
Shade: no
Dog: then why does she have one?
Shade: listen, you can try to take a gun from a bear if you want, tell me how it goes. I'm not touching that.
Dog: Give us more time to catch the murderer.
Head of the Usterix: No, but you can play with this kaleidoscope.
Dog: What? A kaleidoscope? I'm not 5 - shapes and colors.
Dog: Candy, the worst thing you can do in these situations is take things into your own hands.
Candy: Got it.
Candy: *hangs up*
Candy: We’re gonna have to take matters into our own hands.
Candy: Must be hard not being able to laugh.
Ziazan: I do have a sense of humor you know.
Candy: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Ziazan: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

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Dog: What does it mean when you have a bunch of crows hanging out in your backyard? Asking for a friend.
Coal: It means you have new friends!
Dog: Are these good new friends or “death is coming” sort of new friends?
Coal: Yes!
Ali: here’s my dossier on all of alastor’s moves and strategies to beat him.
Dog: why are some of the pages written in crayon?
Ali: i started compiling it when we were kids.
Ali: Your kids are doing excellent.
Dog: W-what? They're not my kids.
Ali: Surely they must be?
Dog, to the area at large: Okay, whoever thought these four were my kids, raise your hands.
Everyone in the room: [raises hand.]
Dog:...
Dog: Sabell, Ziazan, Candy, and Ursa - put your hands down.
Ziazan: I despise being touched. The only physical contact I tolerate is the feeling of my fist colliding with my opponent's jugular.
Dog: Sabell is literally hugging you right now.
Ziazan, hugging Sabell tighter: That is COMPLETELY different-
Waiter: And what will you be having?
Candy: The Unborn!
Dog, exhausted: Eggs. She wants eggs.

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Sabell: This tree is completely hollow inside but still totally alive. Wow!
Shade: Me too bitch you ain’t special
Coal: Who's turn is it to give the pep-talk?
Dog: [sighing] Ziazan's.
Ziazan: Fuck shit up out there, but don't die.
Sabell: [claps]
Candy: [wiping away a tear] Inspirational.
Shade: Alcohol may not solve your problems but neither will water or milk.
Sabell: I just leveled up, what should I put in my spellbook?
Candy: Put spaghetti in it
Sabell: I’m taking suggestions from literally anyone but you
Ursa: Put spaghetti in it
Sabell: I’m taking suggestions from anyone but you two
Caius: Put spaghetti in it
Sabell: I’m no longer taking suggestions
Dog: How do I beat up a demon?
Dog: Just as an FYI, I WILL figure out a way to beat this demon up, that's not a question. I'm just asking if someone has already experimented with this, or if I'm gonna have to 1800's pioneer that shit.
Dog: I'm sorry if this isn't exactly coherent, I'm just real fucking mad right now.

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Caius: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.
Candy: I'm an adult! I do grown-up things! Independence!
Candy, 5 minutes later: ...hey Coal, what are taxes...