wished, wondered, shamefully recall
I believed you could be, might one day Become-, Lord;
Like Father (grhs) like son

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seen from Australia
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@murder-a-dream
wished, wondered, shamefully recall
I believed you could be, might one day Become-, Lord;
Like Father (grhs) like son

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I once detested her. I understand now that she gave me exactly what I needed, what I’d refused to give myself for so long. I hope that one day, someone will give her the affection and tenderness I yearned for then.
Why
Everything hurt until it didn’t
Or maybe I just chose to forget
Across the ocean, between colored lights and waveforms; I don’t care what you found, I just hope you do it right this time (for her sake)
I’d thank you for your best if I’d have received it

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Heard you found someone lovely
Though I swear she’s your spitting image
It hurt to see her go the same places I had to drag you to but
Someone told me you made a promise (the type we both know you can’t keep)
Painstakingly i prepared every piece of me and fed it to you by the spoon full, each bite forming something new for you
Deconstructing yet another part of me
Until you were no longer empty
Consume, still
Until I am nothing
And even then some;
I hope you find someone hungry
October 18th, 2022
I tried to figure out myself why the drugs were so worth it for you. It’s hard to accept that the loss of my trust was worth such a shitty high
On a night in December when it poured rain and stormed so bad there was lightning
You’ve gone out from me
You don’t live within me anymore
I thought I’d feel lighter

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Somehow, you never managed to find the time
I need you less now though, and frankly your attention isn’t worth nearly as much as it used to be
Sometimes I think I’m a bottomless pit
I clutch the pack of cigarettes I stole from you like a relic and wait for your arrival
Come home soon.
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
I want you to fight, I want you to struggle. I want you to cry and doubt yourself
I yearn to hear you find confidence in the bottom of that well I pushed you down
Cut her up and fuck the meat, the harder she cries the more I love her

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You don’t make any sense
And to think, bathed in pale-blue instrument panel glow, I’d for a moment considered something beyond tomorrow
Sinfully inconsiderate of gods property
Intertwined a cord of naivety and with heart open wide, I stitch and mend myself in amongst all the little precious and sharp things that make up you