I’ve been told that lies have been spread about me.  That my emotional abuser has been twisting situations & victimizing themself because we finally cut ties.

I’m going to speak up about the shit I went through, why their lies are in fact lies, & why this is complete & utter victim-blaming. 

A year ago [ish] I started to become friends with someone who currently goes by Key @huntingswarm if I recall correctly.  I would have kept this private but apparently !!  I’m in a DNI now, & they’re spreading victimizing lies about me.  Amazing.  

We hit it off initially.  They are a very sexually forward person, & I went along with it as I don’t mind such sort of advances.  I’m more of a romantic myself but, whatever, I didn’t mind.  Everything was fine.

Apparently it wasn’t.  Now, something you should know about me is that I am autistic.  Autism is not an excuse for toxic behavior.  HOWEVER, it is something that people are expected to keep in mind because I do not understand things unless they are explicitly stated to me.  I can NOT pick up on social cues.  I state this very clearly to people ; if you want something, tell me.

Key went back & forth with the idea of calling me a girlfriend, expressing that they weren’t super comfy with it because of trauma, & I accepted that.  But one day after their friend pressured them [NOT ME, THEIR friend who was trying SO HARD to get me gone] they finally said ‘fuck it, we’re gfs’.  Cool !!

Thirteen days later, they seem down & I attempt to cheer them up with something that was, as mentioned, a norm - intimacy.  Never once did they say ‘i’m not okay with this’, or ‘i’m not feeling it’.  We are still in a relationship at this point, & the boundary for sexual engagement has already been established as acceptable.

ONLY A YEAR LATER did I learn that Key classified the above as sexual assault.  A boundary that THEY had established as acceptable, that they never expressed change in, was sexual assault.

The next day, they broke it off with me, telling me they still weren’t comfortable being official.  Okay, that’s fine.  I was hurt, but, what are you gonna do about it.  We stayed friends, & Key continued to go back & forth with romantic advances vs pushing me away.  Needless to say, this hurt me a lot.  But, I attempted to encourage them to do whatever made them comfortable, & tried very hard to match whatever energy was given to me.

A while later, that friend that wanted me gone got cut off, & Key told me they realized how ableist they’d been towards me because of her, blaming me for my disabilities when refusing to speak in any tone that wasn’t mean.  I said it was okay.  For some reason.

Then we started to become actual friends.  I was moving on, emotionally.  They were still my FP, my best friend, & one day they expressed that it’d be really cool if I moved up to where they were.  So, alright, I got a job in my industry up there, thinking it’d be neat to be near a friend.

Now they had some issues at home that I won’t go into because that’s not my place, but the tl;dr about it is they were dying to get out.  I rented a 2 bedroom apartment because I wanted a craft room, but when Key visited me for my birthday they expressed that they did still want to move here & out of their home.  

I came across a job one day that paid 17-20/hr & said ‘hey, I found this, I know you want a job so you can live on your own & if you do still want to live here you can have the second bedroom, so you can pay half rent & save money to live on your own’.  It was supposed to only last for a year.  They were all for it.

APPARENTLY, this is ‘coercing’ them out of their home.  I offered solutions to their problems, & even found them a job, & it was all voluntary mind you.  There was not a single time when they expressed discomfort with it.  NOT ONE.

Honestly, I wish I’d never offered my home.  They did nothing but take advantage of me & my desire to help out.  Physically, financially, etc.  They constantly disregarded & berated my emotions.  They tried very hard to convince me I was still in love with them.  When they came into MY ROOM [without knocking btw] & asked how they looked, I offered compliments as friends are supposed to.

I’m being told Key is now saying I ‘gawked’ at them in inappropriate clothing.  I didn’t, but it all went along with their delusion that I was still in love with them.

My new partner heard the way they talked to me, on discord.  Friends heard the way they talked to me on discord.  It was NOT good.  But I toughed it out because that’s what friends do, right ??

I wish I’d left sooner.

I did not take advantage of anyone. I did not coerce anyone. I did not abuse anyone. In fact, I’m the one who was royally fucked up for over a year. Tugged back & forth, taken advantage of financially & situationally.

❝ …do you think i would’ve turned out differently if i grew up with someone like you? ❞ 

❝ i don’t want that bastard — taking away any more of what i have, not anymore. ❞

❝ will you really be able to go back? ❞

❝ wait. i’ll be there soon to kill you. ❞

❝ [name]’s out there alone!! alone!! ❞

❝ why don’t you quit with your bullshit. ❞

❝ i feel sorry for you, actually. ❞

❝ when death is right at your doorstep, pain is the last thing on your mind. ❞

❝ get your finger off of the trigger! ❞

❝ bluffing, am i? but, then, why do you look so terrified? ❞

❝ let’s not even bother with trying to save face. we both know you didn’t call me to ask about how i’m doing. ❞ 

❝ you do have a mental illness, really. ❞

❝ you’re always stupid, but today you really make me wanna cry. ❞

❝ i won’t forgive them. ❞

❝ i know now… that i can laugh comfortably by your side. but you must find me overwhelming and annoying. ❞

❝ i shouldn’t have trusted myself. ❞

❝ i won’t just stand by and watch my life fall apart! ❞

❝ i know i screwed up. i’m sorry. ❞ 

❝ there’s nothing in your life that gives you a moment of peace, of clarity? never a time where you thought you might have found something worth it all? nothing that excites you? nothing that you treasure? ❞

❝ i’m tired. i’m tired of talking about this, i’m tired mentally, i’m just — …tired, [name]. ❞

❝ you’ve taken what is most precious to me. so i shall do the same. ❞

❝ run and leave me behind. ❞

❝ [name]. you have to be happy, okay? ❞

❝ stop begging for love and get out of here. ❞

❝ the only thing i have left is an eternity of waiting. ❞

❝ fuck, i’m gonna kill him/her/them and then tie a fucking noose around my neck! ❞

❝ no, i can’t lose you like this…! ❞ 

❝ you can’t die here… not you! ❞

❝ okay, this is a nightmare. it’s just a dream. a horrible, horrible one. ❞

❝ what? does it feel unfair? did you think i’d just laugh it off and apologize? not what you had in mind, is it? ❞ 

❝ so you won’t even admit your mistakes?! ❞

❝ are you looking down on me too now that i’m old news?! ❞

❝ why do i keep letting him/her/them manipulate me like this? ❞ 

❝ how could i so easily forgive someone who tricked me and made a fool of me? ❞

❝ when you finally come to your senses and look around, you see nobody taking care of you. ❞

❝ only i can take care of myself. ❞

❝ i don’t know why you’re trying to give me false hope, but just stop it. ❞

❝ please, i don’t want you to leave. ❞

❝ but if you are going to leave now… don’t ever come back again. ❞

two lovely nonnies requested these and i hope they find them well!! some of these are general, others are a tiny bit more specific, they're very angry and aggressive and conflict-based so i hope they work out! bon appetit!

" you've got some nerve... "

" how dare you! "

" get the hell away from me! "

" what did you just say? "

" how could you say/do/think that?! "

" no. no way. not happening. "

" we're not having this conversation! "

" that's not a good enough explanation! "

" god, why does it always have to be a fight with you?! "

" get out! "

" get away from me! "

" god, i can't believe you... "

" what were you thinking?! "

" i hate you. "

" wait a minute, you're blaming me?! "

" well, of course i blame you! "

" none of this would've happened if you had just listened to me! "

" what are you talking about?! "

" god, you're [INSERT INSULTING ADJECTIVE HERE]. "

" i never want to see you again. "

" this is all your fault. "

" you're a monster! "

" what did you do?! "

" what's THAT supposed to mean? "

" you think you're so much better than me, don't you? "

" okay, that's it. what the hell's your problem? "

" you wanna know what your problem is? "

" i'm not talking to you when you're like this. "

" your plan's gonna get us all killed, and you know it. "

" god, you can never admit when you're wrong! "

" i want you to leave. now! "

" you have no idea what i've been through! "

" quit playing the victim card! we've all been through stuff! it doesn't give us a free pass to be an asshole! "

" you hypocrite! "

" you lied to me! "

" this is the part where you apologize. "

" this is the part where you leave. "

" you must think you're god's gift to the world. "

                        𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫.                         𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤.                         𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝.

it’s unfair of us to have platforms and not use it to speak up for palestinians. i have resources provided below for how you can educate yourself on the ethnic cleansing that is happening in israel right now and how you can help.

educate yourself

thread on what is occurring in sheikh jarrah, another thread

thread of infographics about misconceptions regarding israel and palestine

tw bombing video of al aqsa mosque being bombed

tw violence, tw bombing, tw shooting video of palestinians in al aqsa mosque

tweet explaining importance of al aqsa

a website where you can learn more about palestine

a video breaking down the history of the israeli oppressing palestinians

video of palestinian explaining the importance of spreading awareness

tw violence video of 16 yo palestinian boy being forcefully evicted from his home by israeli solders

tiktok of palestinian speaking about what is going on in her country. please see the links in her bio for more information— tiktok will not let me copy and paste her linktree

tiktok of palestinian speaking on situation in gaza

instagram page for jewish voices for peace, an organization working for liberation and justice for palestine

free ways to help if you cannot donate

do NOT sign petitions !! they are not accounted for in the middle east and do nothing.

simply go to this website and click

watch this video to donate, it’s 3 hours long but just playing it in the background can help

watch this video to donate, it’s 1 hour long but just playing it in the background can help

if you are from the U.K., follow these instructions to call local MPs into action

if you are from the U.S., text RESIST to 50409 to urge congress to help palestine

thread of dua’as muslims can make to pray for palestinians

boycott israeli products

donate— it is better to donate directly to people rather than organizations, but i do have a few organizations listed.

do NOT donate to change.org

help children and hospitals affected by gaza bombing

help hungry children in palestine

donate to palestine child relief fund, known to be reputable

donate to united palestinian appeal, a direct charity

donate directly to journalist injured in gaza

ramadan zakat fund for palestinians in gaza

i’ll add more links as i continue to find reliable sources and proper donations. please dm me other resources and i can add them to this list. if anything here is not trustworthy, please let me know immediately and i will take it down. free palestine until it’s backwards, pray for palestinians who do not know whether they will be safe in their own country.

SUSIE & FRANK RELATIONSHIP BOARD

    𝚂𝙴   𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙴𝚁   (𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚑)    /𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋/

                     𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗    •    𝚝𝚘  𝚍𝚒𝚎  𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑  𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗    ;    𝚝𝚘  𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍