I couldn’t agree more with this. As someone who has been married for 7 years (together for 9), kissing hardly proves anything of love, at least on its own. The starry-eyed lover type of intimacy is cute, but using it exclusively is like eating fondant off a cake. It’s sweet, looks polished and pretty, but lacks robust the flavour of combined elements — fillings, frosting, toppings, and the cake itself.
It’s gestures often overlooked, silent acts of respect without calling attention to them. Subtleties mixed with the obvious.
The good, bad, and the ugly.
playful banter, ribbing, insults/backhanded compliments
recognising ticks/tells and how to respond (e.g. specific throat clear before they speak)
tolerating inconsequential bad habits (e.g. puts dishes beside dishwasher, not in it)
listening to the same stories multiple times as if they were new
developing similar quirks (e.g. particular laugh)
mock fighting, mini competitions
blatant honesty, humble apologies, knowing when to drop an argument
saying nothing/talking for hours
tending to illness or injuries
pokes, pet/pats, head/shoulder bumps, bites, tickles, cuddling, long gazes, stroking hair
grooming, restraighten clothing, touch up hair, brush off crumbs
singing and dancing together
understanding your partner’s hurt rather than just apologising
knowing how to cheer the other up, how to piss them off, humour them
reassurance (e.g. I’m here to talk, you’re doing a great job, your insecurities don’t define you)
associating sights, smells, touches, songs, phrasing, etc with them (e.g. “I saw a pigeon today and thought ‘is this my partner?’”
hating dumb things they do, but finding them hard to live without and secretly loving them
compromising, sacrificing, reciprocation
Love is unspoken, tolerant, and a spectrum of emotions.
It’s accepting that you’ll fuckin’ hate their entire being at times, exclaim with vitriol, “god, you’re so fucking annoying” while you smile and know that it’s trivial in the grand scheme.
It’s real. It’s healthy. It’s fun. That’s what I try to encapsulate in my sappy romantic fiction because realistic fluff is so much more gratifying.
blakekathryn
stormborns
theartofmadeline
areudirty
yousharknotpass
janainaart
