30.06.2026—literally so close to finishing this (hopefully final) draft 🥹

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@muji-boy
30.06.2026—literally so close to finishing this (hopefully final) draft 🥹

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Somehow, after being out of med school for 6 years, I am still learning glycolysis and the kreb's cycle 😭
[19/6/26] long time no post! i made it through exams (well, i sure hope i passed. everyone pray for me) and now i have so much to do and nothing to do again.
im working on my dissertation which is like statistical mechanics and complexity science-- so smth i know nothing about. i used the special topics summer school as an excuse last week, but i also have weekly meetings with my undergrad group bc papers are so hard and i hate collider analysis. the postdoc is pulling a lot of the weight rn but i really should get my shit together.
but i wanna have fuuuuun. its so sunny outside i wanna froliccccc. fuck grinding in the libraryyyyyy.
oh dear, how will survive a phd if this is my work ethic? right, there's the whole moving for the phd thing too. i have to study for the qual.
26.05.2026 // drowning in the stress spiral
struggling with the current chapter that i am writing; once again, the feeling that i've bitten off more than i can chew. i'm dealing with the stress by procrastinating, which is of course causing even more stress. last week of teaching and then off to marking assignments.
a friend told me that she's finally submitting her phd thesis next week and i actually gasped out loud. when i had first met her 2.5yrs ago, she had just come back from her fieldwork and was struggling to get back into writing. we will eventually get there.
sunday | june 7
citing robert koch's seminal 1882 lecture in my paper that's meant to be on modern TB antibiotic development. like ok sure why not.
🎧 brand new cadillac - the clash 🧊 diet dr pepper 🕙 10pm

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2006'26: went for a morning run and workout, crashed to catch up on the z's, and the rest is just attempting to focus. can't wait for muscle soreness tomorrow ( who else likes that feeling? ) 👀
Cree; Saskatchewan, Canada, around 1930. Paul Coze
break from study content on this national indigenous people’s day.
after 4 months i'm finally finished with war and peace. it will accompany me for another week as i continue to write my thoughts on it but i'm glad i can lay it to rest on my bookshelf
dont know whatever this is called but a big fan of studying without any exam stress and deadline anxiety 🤪
since college is over for this academic year, im finally brushing up my braincells over Nuclear Physics now that i get the timee
also listening to Olivia Dean cus her songs resonate with my personality smm💛
D-1
checking what I know for sure and what I don’t.
funnily enough, we have a section about infoxification and I'm pretty sure I am at that point.

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19 june 2026 // friday
study setup this morning. started the day at the dining room table so i can enjoy the mini split. i have the day to "work remotely" but there's nothing i can continue with from home so it's a day to study. i picked up mcdonalds for breakfast because that's the only place that offer options without eggs (no hate from me, just hate from my digestive system). pictured is the salted caramel iced coffee with milk, 10/10 for cheap iced coffee.
so far today i've managed to get through three and a half sections. i realized that i accidentally chunked an entire chapter after the midterm instead of before so now i have to somehow get through that in the next eight days on top of finishing my assignment and reviewing for the exam. i really don't want to have to move it.
the rest of the day is going to focus on that assignment and a scholarship/bursary/award application that i started. i hope to get the assignment submitted before i go to bed.
i'm tired. the long weekend was supposed to be a break and now it's a race against time.
12 june 2026 // friday
ch: 17, 18, affix, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 28 i am on section 21.3 and over halfway through my course content. i have to book my midterm soon and am working on assignment 1 at the moment. time flies when you're having fun. i'm actually really enjoying ochem now!!
i finally know what my autoimmune disease is. after seven years of struggling so much and become increasingly disabled i have an answer. i have psoriatic arthritis. as someone who was worked in dermatology i never ever expected it to be me?? i saw people who were much much worse off than me from all sides of it. but i happen to be one of those who got the arthritis before the psoriasis, and now i finally have visible plaques. i don't know whether i feel relieved to have an answer and a treatment plan going forward or if i'm grieving the confirmation that the disability is real. add onto that, i have told some people close to me and one of the responses was "at least it's just psoriasis!" but you know, that would have been mine too before i worked in derm and saw that it's never just psoriasis.
work is going pretty well. i have a bunch of data collected and i've hard to start my qualitative coding because i had to pause data collection due to IT issues. i've had so many great conversations, some that have moved me to tears in all honesty. i am so excited to keep chugging along and to eventually present my findings at a conference in november. i think we've already got a lot of good stuff.
my faculty released a form to fill out if you want to apply/nominate someone for an award or scholarship and my friend and i are nominating each other. there's a renewable for the remainder of my degree that i would love to get and is the only thing like this i've ever felt like i deserved honestly. i am working so hard this time around. (and if i don't get it, i 100% know the person who will deserved it just as much. we are a small cohort and know each other and faculty members well).
maybe things are going to be okay?
Back to reading
I gave her a textbook so I'm not studying alone
some of my last commonplace pages
ps. next one is TN🤓

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that feeling of accomplishment when you lock in and complete three sections including multiple background readings in one go.
-> my bookstagram