Rabbit holes and skeletons. • I'd do anything to not do anything. Whatever I'm fleeing, there's a door to open that will keep me distracted. Seemingly productive procrastination. But at least I'm doodling and jotting my concerns and interests on paper again. I skipped photographing the rawer sketches. I try to let them happen but they're few and far in-between, clumsy, and really too vulnerable to expose publicly. Luckily more palatable images keep popping up. • The perpetual issue is how fast they pop up and how quick I move on. I'm an initiator, not much of a pursuer or toiling person. Looking at these sketches and at old drawings, I do have the skills to produce finished, beautiful pictures. Just not the patience. If I put something aside, it's often as done as it's goong to get. Revisiting old sketches feels like watching a children's movie: it elicits memories, but just doesn't have the flavor and power it once had. It rings differently, in dissonance with the self of the present. Reading old diary entries is the same. If the feeling and the mindset that elicited the birth of a piece are gone, changed, or become irrelevant, I can't keep working on this piece, even for the sake of memory. • A few days ago I lost myself in the whirls of Jupiter's clouds and learning about turbulent flow. I've satiated the craving for knowledge that would serve this first sketch, but then my heart moved on. Looking back, just a few days later, I don't find it in me to try and make a complete version. I've moved to some other images, some other interests—drawing is one way of taking information in, but my identity and concerns fluctuate too much, move too fast, for me to keep focus, digest and transcend. • I envy the artists that have a strong identity coursing through their work, who not only carry a piece through, but who also have a consistent output and demonstrate a gradual, sensible progression. • Can I ever tame my erratic tendency ? Can it be tapped into ? • Can I ever take care of paperwork on time instead of buddying up with bunnies? • Last pic is reward for paying attention :) #sketchbook #inksketch #anatomy #turbulentflow #study https://www.instagram.com/p/CIGQxkSBImH/?igshid=1heore093j28e
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