thank you for the music

          wrapped in a blanket, hair up in a messy bun, sophie sat on the couch next to her aunt. this might have been the first time in a while she hadn’t been sad while talking about sky and she deemed it a good sign. and indeed, the blonde had noticed a change before, something inside her mind.    “  i'm not sad for him, but i'm sad for all the time i had to waste.  ”     sophie gave a small smile as the words left her lips, wanting to make it clear she wasn’t actually sad.    “  that ... that is a good sign, isn’t it?  ”

“  auntie rosie … i really don’t think i should answer that question because no matter what, someone will be offended.  ”    frown upon her features, sophie thought about it for a moment, trying to find the right words.    “  but, i love you so much and you’ll always be one of my favorite people in the world.  ”   

          arms wrapped around the older woman, sophie had no intention to let her go anytime soon. this woman, her aunt, had always been like a mother to her, how heartless did she have to be to just leave.    “  you've always done the same for me.  ”    holding her tight, she didn’t look at her, afraid to see rosie still sad. how terribly she wanted to cheer her up.    “  whenever i’ve been sad, feeling alone, you’ve been there to cheer me up. let me do the same for you right now.  ”

                    “ i could back down and fall to pieces. ”    voice rich of emotions, sophie didn’t even try to hide how close she was to letting tears fall down her cheeks. when things got difficult, the younger sheridan had often thought about giving up, letting herself fall but there was always a reason for her not to do it. always the same one. whenever she was feeling powerless, one specific picture would come to her mind, making her feel stronger. strong enough to carry on.    “  as long as you’re by my side, i know there’s someone to catch me.  ”    sophie might not say it often enough --- or so she believed --- but as long as she had her mother around, she felt safe and secure.

          a drink in her hand --- that alone being something she usually wouldn’t do --- sophie tried to avoid her grandmother’s gaze as much as possible. more than anything did she want to just let her guards down, fall apart and just be embraced by the great ruby sheridan but at the same time, the younger blonde was afraid. as much as she loved the other sheridan, as much as she trusted her, she couldn’t help but feel the hint of fear still.    “  i had a feeling that i belonged. i had a feeling i could be someone.  ”    sophie didn’t regret her choice of leaving sky, not for a second. of course she felt sad, lonely, but she knew the feeling would go away. eventually.    “  i did the right thing, didn’t i?  ”   blue eyes eventually looked up to meet, as she hoped, understanding ones. supporting ones. 

          it only seemed natural for her to go to tanya. tanya who would be able to give her a helpful advice. if anyone could help her, it would be the older woman. letter still tightly held in her hand, the blonde went looking for her.    “  auntie tanya?  “    gaze wandering around, sophie didn’t pay much attention to where she was walking.    “  i need your help.  “

          eyes shut tightly, the young woman tried to focus, tried to think of anything else;  without success. suddently, she felt a hand ontop of her shoulder, causing her to jump and take a step back. turning around, blue eyes met the figure of   ruby sheridan   and for a long moment she wondered whether her grandmother had been following her or if she had been closer to their cottage than she had imagined. mouth opening, words didn’t quite find their way out. instead, she could feel the tears building up in her eyes and there was hardly a thing she could do. turning away once again, she couldn’t bear to look at the older sheridan, not like that. with the weakest of voices, another attempt to speak her thoughts was made,    “  i’m   ---   have you been following me  ?!  ”

                    eyes closing, deep breaths being taken, sophie remained silent for another moment, enjoying this peaceful moment knowing it couldn’t last FOREVER. soon enough, however, the young blonde heard the words slip from her lips without actually realizing she was saying them.    “  mom? you know that i would never do anything to hurt you, right?  ”     CAREFULLY sitting up as if she was afraid she had said something utterly terrible, sophie looked at her mother, all the adoration she held for the other woman visible in her eyes.    “  i mean ... you’re THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON in my life. i owe you so much. i’m just ... i’m afraid i don’t tell you enough. that i don’t show you enough how much i love you.  ”   

                    as her voice carried on, she didn’t notice a stray tear finding its way down her cheek, faint smile on her lips as emotions took over. so many words ran through her mind but she had no idea how to voice all of them. it was a mess of thoughts but all of them tried to explain what donna sheridan meant to her.    “  i could have never asked for a BETTER mother.  “