“What if all the things you thought were falling apart were actually falling into place?”

Billy hasn’t been in since school opened and I haven’t been able to reach him. Yesterday I mustered my courage and went to the workshop to ask if anyone knows anything about/from him. He is okay, I was told, but he went through a hard time since December. It broke me after that, for the rest of the day I just couldn’t hold myself together. The last conversation I had with him was me apologising to him for not being able to bake him anything for Christmas. “That’s okay maisarah, I’ll see you next year. You take care okay.” I had ‘Call Billy’ in my to-do lists but never got around to calling him. More than ever, I feel lousy for not reaching out...when I know how painful it feels like to be alone by myself going through tough times. I’m finishing up in the lab soon, the thought that I might not be able to see him again before I leave hurts the core of my being. I’d recall the way he’d greet me every morning, the way he pronounces my name, our small conversations we had. I struggle a bit more to remember his advice throughout my time at school, it made me scared yesterday- how long will it be before I completely forget the sound of his voice, too? That phone calls I never made, the times I kept postponing, and the thought of having another day with me-may this be a lesson, though a pretty rough one. After all, when were we ever promised another day? https://www.instagram.com/p/CKGQGDBjyB3R3QWQALx8fDXtF_CxJJE6XQQRYU0/?igshid=1vb87aabrey48

fading (at Edinburgh, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CG1eCNoDbwB1OxbHGXTxj_b0xny0FLvif1L5f00/?igshid=18wxumx3wi17p