Ms Jolly Melancholy ♡♡

"She had always found villains more exciting than heroes. They had ambition, passion. They made the stories happen. Villains didn't fear death. No, they wrapped themselves in death like suits of armor! As she inhaled the school's graveyard smell, Agatha felt her blood rush. For like all villains, death didn't scare her. It made her feel alive.” ― Soman Chainani, The School for Good and Evil Hello and welcome to my life. I started this blog because I needed an outlet. A safe place to vent and share my life's experiences. Two years ago I had a botched back surgery. I woke up from a microdiscectomy paralyzed from the knees down. Afterward my life spiraled out of control and I lost everything...I mean everything. I fell even deeper into a bottomless sinkhole of depression and had severe suicidal tendencies. I was homeless, unable to work, and had to resort to couch surfing or sleeping in 24 hour laundromats. After living in this hell for two years, I finally decided I wasn't ready to give up on life so I sought out some much needed mental help. That's when I found out that I had been living with undiagnosed bipolar and borderline personality disorder my entire life. So now I'm dealing with the aftermath of permanent nerve damage, chronic pain...and trying to somehow get a grip on this mental illness I was blessed with. I've been diagnosed for a year now and it still hasn't gotten any easier to admit that I have a mental illness. The shame and embarrassment haunt me like a nightmare I can't wake up from.