hi @taylorswift! i’m lore, i’m 20 years old and i live in montevideo, uruguay. i’ve been following you and your music since i was 11 years old (2010, which is a lot!!!!). you’ve been there for me since i had my first kiss at 12 and it didn’t feel as i always thought it’d do. you’ve also been there for me at 13 when i had a crush on a guy who didn’t want me back. you were there for me at 15 when i was mistreated by the boy i liked and felt like i would never be enough for anybody. you were there for me at 17 when a fuckboy thought i was some kind of game he could play whenever he wanted to. and you are there for me now in my 20s when i’ve finally found the truest and purest of loves.
i have been a dreamer, a hopeless romantic since i can remember. romance has always been my favourite genre. people falling in and out of relationships until they find the one. first kisses that are flawless and fearless. tragedies that become victories, villains that become heroes, evil that becomes good.
the truth is, when you wrote that “you have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily every after […] because i think love is fearless” it was the exact way i’ve always felt. even when i was scared of abandonment, boredom, heartbreak, i always craved real love that shines golden like starlight and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust. those words stuck with me from the first time i read them in 2012. for whatever reason, you’ve always said exactly what i wanted to say, what i needed to hear. that line described exactly the kind of love i’d always wanted to feel, the kind of relationship i’d always wanted to be a part of.
2016 came by and you disappeared. we all missed you, but sometimes it’s just the healthiest thing you can do for yourself: go off the radar. to live your best life it’s necessary to cleanse your spirit, to get rid of toxic relationships and habits in order to heal.
i strongly believe we all have wounds. of different kinds, differently shaped. but everyone has a memory they’d rather forget, a person they’d rather not see again, a song they can’t listen to anymore. i also believe everyone has a special someone they have yet to meet, someone that can ease the pain, share the bad moments and love you until you find a way to fix your soul.
i think you were lucky enough to find that person. you will never know how happy i was when in 2017 i heard you had been dating a guy for months.
2017 was huge for me. you came back doing better than you ever were. and little did i know i had met the absolute love of my life.
you said you’d write a whole album about that kind of “real love that shines golden” if you ever found it. and five years later, reputation came out. i’ve always felt like it means a lot to you. i see it as a groundbreaking point in your life. a love that changed everything. when my relationship started to develop, leading me last year to the most beautiful love story i will ever be a part of, reputation became everything to me. “these songs were once about my life”, you said in 1989′s prologue. “they are now about yours”. i hope one day you get to know how truthful that statement was.
2019 finds me in a relationship with an amazing boy whom i’d trust my life with. he listens to me, even if what i have to say is not in his main topics of interest. and he advices me on every problem i encounter. he supports me, takes care of me. he makes me feel loved, makes me feel like i matter.
with reputation, “call it what you want” became kind of our relationship anthem in my head. i went through harsh staff this past year. in the road to heal my wounds i had to let go of people who would only put salt in them. and i felt alone. and i felt guilty, like everything was my fault. but he stayed. he built a fire just to keep my warm. and there’s no amount of words that can describe how thankful i am for having him in my life. he knows me, truly knows me, more than anyone in this world. and he loves me all the same. i’ve finally found a love that really is something, not just the idea of something.
and i will never be able to thank you enough for putting into words how i feel about the most important person in my life. and you will probably never know how special it is to have someone feeling the way i do, and making it into art. this month will be 13 months since our relationship started, and i really wanted to let you know how important your music has been in the process.
i feel like lover is coming down the same line as reputation. and i can’t wait to hear it and find more love anthems.
love you with my whole heart.
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