having an emotional support shitty phone game is actually really good for you

when I talk about the weather it isn't small talk. I actually care about it and I want to discuss

white boy i will flush you down the toilet

nobody is more stressed than a 24-29yo thinking they are running out of time lol

its POOP friday

i think that i deal with a lot of [remembers this isn't my diary] Nothing. i've never had a problem

the real people who need to be told Omg You People Can’t Do Anything is the people who can’t watch something if it’s not on a streaming service…. like girl let’s search Watch Free Online

dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now

Duuuuuude its so cool how you made ur car go 2 mph faster and sound like it was taking a shit... I bet it was pretty expensive, to make your car sound like it was poopshitting and farting whenever you accelerate slightly. Thats so cool.

Do you ever see people you know being friends/socializing with each other and think Damn. They're probably having so much fun and interesting conversations. Sadly I can't join them due to not being ensouled

me to me: you stress me out

when 1D said does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes they were so fucking right