Poly :::3

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

Hookup culture is so convoluted these days and I don't meant that in a way that is dismissive of the act in of itself but rather that you used to be able to just have a few drinks with a girl and then she'd put her eggs in you or vice versa nd then maybe you'd stack colored pebbles together for a few hours but nowadays she always has to try and poison your wine which I suppose I can't really complain about because I also try to poison hers while slipping antidote into mine but she does the same so we get mad at each other and grapple for a while and then she stings me with her stinger or injects venom into me with her fangs or what have you and THEN finally gets to the oviposition. It all just feels a bit overcomplicated to me and you can't even stack colored pebbles afterwards because you're still paralyzed from the venom

sometimes i get weirdly anxious about the fact that thousands of years of evolution have led to my specific bloodline and it will almost certainly be ending with me. but then i remember the same is true of like every fly that dies in a drink before it gets the chance to reproduce so like. who am i to get all precious about the concept of bloodlines really. who give a shit. my ancestors arent any better than that flys ancestors.

i could totally take a hexbug in a fight

White people be like: I have to take my french bulldog to the chiropractor

step 1: mitosis

you guys gotta stop deactivating your blogs cause you're making it harder for me to go back in a reblog chain to remove the annoying additions

Swallowing glass just to stay pure

if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass