Beautiful Design

First time this year that crying came over me. It just feels like a constant reminder of how unlovable I am. A poke in my side. It hurt. I had to leave. I'm still being looked over. Losing in comparison. Still invisible.

Fuel. I’ll take it. All the therapy in the world won’t change that you’re a vile person. Not good enough to love me out loud. Not good enough to be honest about me. Deny all you will, you chose that language, you chose that tone, you don’t care if you hurt me. So cruel. I’m back in that car after so long. ‘You make me wish I was dead.’ No matter what, you’ll never understand. Validation won’t change anything.

Happy 4th manniversary to me. 🥳

Goddammit. I know everything happens for a reason but, fuck. 

I feel fucking inspired and its awesome. The 1975 are just amazing in concert. Even for the second time ‘round seeing them. I think I’m ready to create again. I’ve painted all the pictures in my mind already. Now its time to give it breath.