â i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. â
â idc (i do care) â
â âare you taken?â yes bitch, taken for granted â
â half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole â
â youâre yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? â
â you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. â
â in order lead a happy life iâm gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. â
â any body else here not good at anything??? â
â you canât force people to appreciate you. â
â *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now⌠â
â i fake smart.. like iâm honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. iâm smart-passing.. â
â every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her âgirlfriendâ owes me $50 â
â i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely donât exist â
â honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself â
â you canât cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer â
â patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. â
â honestly i donât even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and iâm like oh this is what weâre doing now? ok â
â no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all â
â imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour â
â i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe iâm pissed â
â hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested â
â *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes â
â please donât just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please donât do that. â
â concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. iâm financially stable and iâm never tired anymore. the bees are safe. â
â i canât believe what walkie talkies are called â
â the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal â
â me: *is bitter but is also right* â
â just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. â
â iâve never belonged anywhere, iâm always just in between â
â too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live â
â i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information â
â iâm like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i canât. always, iâm sleepy. â
â lmao no offense⌠but whatâs the point of being mean to people for no reason â
â drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk â
â âalcohol isnât supposed to taste goodâ buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i donât hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer â
â tfw youâre already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit youâre doing but you canât bring yourself to do anything to stop it â
â hey sorry for not replying i didnât want to â
â honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality â
â true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing â
â *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit â
â lets play âhow rude can i be until you realize i donât like youâ â
â i love drunk me but i donât trust her â
â hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if â
â iâm not on a high horse. iâm not even on a horse. iâm face down in a ditch on the road of life â
â i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place â
â i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive â
â you had me at âhelloâ and lost me at âi think your friend is cuteâ â
â iâm pretty sure by now âtiredâ is just a part of my personality description â
â wow i really liked that song now i think iâll listen to it another seventy times in a row â
â âshit itâs 2 a.m.â i say every day at 2 a.m. as if iâm surprised â
â iâve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade â
â telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship â
â i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed â
â about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  â
â i highly recommend never having feelings â
â due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake â
â iâm gonna solve mysteries so fucking good â
â what did people even wear in 2008 â
â iâll just ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ Â my way through life â
â you know what sucks? everything bye â
â me? overreacting? probably â
â people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience â
â honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself â
â if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper âshut the fuck upâ at least once every five minutes â
â any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later â
â hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof â
â what i lack in personality i make up for inâŚâŚ.. nothing â
â me? cancelled â
â an app that tells you how raven something is â
â be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything thatâs you â
â i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means thereâs a universe where iâve pulled every single fire alarm iâve ever seen â
â name a more iconic duo than the lengths iâll go to both get attention and to avoid it⌠iâll wait â
â i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick â
â 2017 is going to be a very healing year because itâs going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think thatâs the root of our collective issues â
â i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism â
â i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented⌠i forgot where i was going with this â
â how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift â
â supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis â
â stop breaking your own motherfucking heart â
â co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know itâs real â
â *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but â
â itâs not youâŚ. itâs your zodiac sign â
â i want to be loved so bad itâs pathetic and embarrassing â
â my heart is filled with hate and swag â
â âi donât careâ i say, caringly, as i care deeply â
â i highly recommend never having feelings â
â we all ugly to somebody, donât trip â
â do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? â
â my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldnât treat her like this â
â kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad â
â everyoneâs having their mid-life crisis at like 19 â
â there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine â
â dermatologists HATE me⌠everyone hates me. iâm so alone â
â you know when you realize and you just⌠realize â
â a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf yâall talkin about â
â iâm not badass iâm sadass i cry about everything â
â inspired by animal crossing, iâve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again â
â i didnât know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say â
â can someone please just be proud of me like fuck iâm trying â
â cosmo sex tip #367: when youâre in the mood, tell you partner âmy spidey senses are tinglingâ â