I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Lily: There’s something sweet.. and almost kind...

Remus: But he was mean, and he was coarse and unrefined...

James: And he still is... His nose is gone!

Lily, mid-rant: ...and they play morally ambiguous movies!

James, who has recently looked into muggle movies, nodding wisely: Willy Wonka

Lily: ...

Remus: ...

Sirius, talking about his family: And I was never safe because I am the danger!

James: *attempting to flirt with Lily on the way to class* I love stalking – I MEAN walking with you!

James: ...

Lily: *rolling her eyes* I’ve had a hex I’ve been dying to use, so if you keep it up I’ll just have to practice it on you.

James: You’ve already cast your spell on me, sweetheart *eyebrow wiggle*

Group of girls sitting in the courtyard, talking about their periods: It’s so annoying how it happens each month!

Remus, off to the side reading a DADA book: I know exactly what you mean.

The girls, alarmed, yet continuing: I hate how my body rips itself apart every month...

Remus, sorrowful: Me too. I just get so angry, I’m like a monster.

The girls, fully face Remus, too shocked to answer: ...

Remus slams his book shut and turns to them: The blood may be bad, but chocolate helps.

Remus: As your new prefect, I’ve been asked to remind you of the school’s safety guidelines.

Remus: Don’t go to the forbidden forest.

Remus: No dungbombs.

Remus: Close the windows at night. That’s just my opinion. It gets drafty.

Remus: And finally, *squints at McGonagall’s handwriting* ... don’t run with scissors? *glances accusingly at Sirius*

James: *kicks feet up on desk* So I heard you like bad boys

Lily: *hiding a smirk* Well you heard right

James: *visibly uncomfortable*

James: ...

James: Well I once set my cat on fire

Lily: *sitting up in shock* James that’s horrible!