Musuh

In her 96 years on Earth, there were 19 recorded assassination attempts on Queen Elizabeth II, only three of which were successful.

The first took place at her own coronation when Sir Edgar of Florin poisoned the crown she was to wear, but was averted when he himself inadvertently wore the crown and died.

The second took place at a fashion event in the London during the height of the swinging era, but failed when a brainwashed model trained to kill her in fact saved her with his signature good looks.

Other attempts included those by a jilted taxi driver, a bald man with a barcode tattoo, a French guy carrying a potted plant, and Sylvester Stallone. But all of these were foiled by security, fate, or the Queen herself, who many are still unaware was a black belt in Judo, a white lenço in Capoeira, and is a member of the Jedi council (though she was not granted the rank of master).

Of the successful attempts, Queen Elizabeth II was killed in 1976 by plot involving poisoned tea, 1983 by David Bowie in a vampyric ritual, and finally her most recent and permanent death in 2022 by, apparently, a whole lot of crabs.