welcome to the chaotic cum carnival

honestly even if we're not mutuals too fuck it idc i just love hearing people's music choices

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

op are you a hobbit

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

Another update: I taught him what it means when something is "the GOAT" and we've been teaching the dog new tricks, so whenever he learns a new trick, we call him goated. My grandpa taught him a new skill while I was at work and the first thing he said to me when I got home was "the goated dog knows how to roll over on command now :)"

i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently

yo mr white can you sign my permission slip so i can go to the aquarium bitch

jesse. you need money to enter jesse.

yo mr white can i have $5 to go to the aquarium it's for school bitch

jesse. do you want some money for the gift shop jesse.

yeah mr white. can i have money to get lunch there too please. bitch

of course jesse. bring me back a cuttlefish plush jesse

you got it mr white

thank you jesse

wht my penis produces when i ceank it off to Mysterious Porn