moonqueen

"To be loved by someone who gazes at you like you have personally hung stars in the sky, like you are the reason the sun rises every morning and the reason the moon changes its phases."

I will love you when the chaos blends out, in the numbness that evenings bring. I will love you when the summer heat hums against your eardrums, the low sound making your skin crawl.

"You don't have to believe in anyone or anything—you just have to believe."

I might always be a wanderer, but in my heart I will always carry my very own home because home is me, when I finally let myself be free.

Death is a funny little thing. You never know when it strikes you, but you will always know when it takes away your beloved ones. You will always feel the aftermath.

The downpour shivered through my soul, but my eyes found its relief. The cold showers drizzled all over my tainted heart; as if to remove the stain you left.

"You are not obliged to be everyone's person."

"love stays - after anger cracks, after uncertainty loses the battle, after selfishness, ego and misery leaves the soul. love stays because it is desperate. stubborn. a leech. it sucks the other emotions out to make space, to become such a greater feeling that it consumes you whole."

"Maybe love is so quiet that you don't notice its presence while you nag too much about its absence."

"Let me be in everything you call yours, for I can never call you mine."

Unknowingly, and rather unwillingly, I became you, Maa. The pain you have always carried now sits on my chest, heavier than the soil on my grave. The grief you endured is now the blood that runs through my veins, cold and desperate. The loneliness you lived with now rings in my ears, like a deafening silence. I became you, Maa. I became the way you show kindness through the bruises, the way you empathize like you are breathing air. I became the way you have so much love in you that it drains the air out of your lungs. I became the way you stitch yourself back, the needles pricking your fingers, a stabbing pain worse than knives. I became the way you were always there, even when the apartment was cleared out.

And I? I wanted to embrace your skin like warm sun rays, and tousle your hair like the teasing wind.

"Home for me was never the warmth of cozy blankets, but the harsh angles of four walls that slowly closed on me."

My eyes stuck where you were; never moving past your nose, scared your lips might pull me in. Never traveling straight to your eyes, scared the floor would shatter beneath me.

"I write and write of the same nausea — the one I hated at twelve, is now my favorite hysteria."

"Dearest, you can ask for my lips, my heart, my hands, my soul. But oh my beloved, you mustn't ask for my eyes, as they are of no use to you— for you won't be able to see anything but you."

"I ordered a piece of cake; it was difficult to swallow it whole."