Eli

I kinda wanna throw up

We have to learn about eating disorders in class and it will take an unhuman amount of strength to try not to correct everything ik damn well isn't right

My mom's fiancè won't go to bed and is in the living room so I can't eat till probably like 5 cuz he'll go to bed right before my mom gets home

I have school 4 days a week which means I can burn calories easier

I didn't measure the calories in my coffee yesterday I used creamer in the first cup which was fucking stupid and I used almond milk in the second one, I ended up not eating and I walk pretty active all day so I burnt off a good amount of the creamer, This morning I'll have the coffee again with almond milk then shower and go to bed when I get home

My mom started yelling the moment I got home so guess whos sleeping through the day

I had to much coffee before school and now im shakey and (tmi ig) i feel like im gunna shit my pants

Imagine being fat except you don't have to imagine it because you are

I hate it when someone takes a bite/peice of my food ik they had unclean food in their mouth before and now I have no idea how much calories I'm about to eat but the main thing that bothers me is how dirty the food feels after that like it suddenly went bad because it isn't exactly how I set it out

I like water and apples they feel clean and pure if that makes any sense like you can't ruin them unless you actually tried because they taste good alone and any other flavor added is just fat that ruins your progress

My moms fiancè bought me my favorite chocolates that I haven't had in forever Idk what to do

I hate having to sleep more because I'm sleeping all day so I can only be awake when I can't get food but at the same time I literally check into my classes and sleep but do all my work at night or on the weekends

I thought i ate way to much and went over my cal limit but i was suprisingly under it and i now feel better