Monkey Nipples

I like to imagine that one day a random stranger will stumble across my little page, think “wow, this user sure has exquisite taste.”, and read my entire history. Future user, if you’re out there, everything I’ve ever done is for you <3

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

i must stress that he's never seen the original comic. My mother simply showed him the shorthand symbol and he memorized it. As far as he is aware this is just a fucking hieroglyph that deals instant psychic damage to everyone under the age of 30

please do not tag my posts as #shitpost i'm not a silly goose i'm a serious business goose 🪿🧳

my gay ass loves to giggle and hihi and haha (The word "gay" here refers to my joyful and humorous nature, not my homosexuality- although both exist in equal proportions within me.)

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

this post came from a darker universe