As You Go, Preach

                                               Mzungu Night        

“I serve an on-time God. He may not show up when you want him to but He is always on time.”

When I was younger my grandmother always used this saying. I didn’t understand the depth of this statement until recently. I have grown up in a generation that desires instant gratification. We live in a world where we can send messages and emails across continents in seconds, our phones can tell us when someone receives our messages (and sometimes even when they read them), and we can Google nearly anything to have information within seconds. This advancement in technology is a great stride for our society; however, it can create a false sense of entitlement to rushed results.

As Christians, this sense of entitlement can cause us to raise our hand at God when he does not yield to our commands (that are many times packaged as a prayer) immediately we, in our self-righteousness, begin to doubt that God is really a “good” God who is “loving” and “compassionate.”

However, I am coming to learn that I can’t package God into a bottle as if He is a genie who magically floats out to fulfill my greatest wishes, dreams, or prayer requests at the snap of my finger. 

God has a way of meeting me when I least expect it, and this time is no different. 

Typically when I head to Uganda or when I am in the airport on the way home God lays something on my heart that reveals to me His intentions for my time in Uganda. When it comes before my trip, I can pray and wait expectantly for how the Lord will work for the duration of my trip. When it happens in the airport on my way home, I can praise God as I reflect on how God worked in my life during my time in Uganda.

However, this trip was different. One the way to Uganda I flew with other people. First one. Then two. And then eleven other people traveling together. With short layovers to meet new people and get to gates, it left little time for personal reflection. So I naturally assumed (another human quality that commonly leads to unmet expectations – but that’s a post for another day) that God would meet me in the airports on the way home. Well, to my surprise the way home was filled with airport goodbyes, shorter layovers, and gate changes. Needless to say, there was again no time for sitting still and listening for God to speak.

I shrugged this off and decided that maybe there was no big revelation from God for this trip. AGAIN, I placed my God in a box and confined his presence in my life to airport encounters. Spoiler alert: BIG MISTAKE.

For three nights after my return, I had a very hard time sleeping through the night. I attributed it to jet lag and decided to take medicine to help me sleep.

This morning I woke up earlier than anticipated, yet again. But the difference today, is that my first thought was a piece of advice that one of the Sozo house parents told me years ago.

She said, “When you keep waking up during the night. Begin to pray and ask God what He is trying to tell you.”

This morning I simply responded, “Okay God, I am ready for our meeting.”

He met me right where I needed Him. In the isolation of my room. In my comfort zone. In the place where I hold to the misconception that I am in control.

He met me here to share what He is teaching me in this season of my life. That is this:

“As members of the body of Christ, we are never called to walk alone. The body of Christ exists for us to live in community, collectively lifting high the name of Christ and proclaiming the power of His salvation.”

The magnitude of this statement cut deep. I commonly use the personality specification of being an introvert as a crutch to support my isolation; however, I am learning that being in isolation makes me a target to the enemy’s schemes. Over the past 6 months, I have discovered a new passion for seeking God. It has been a fruitful time of my life as I have surrendered some of my greatest hurts, fears, dreams, and aspirations at the foot of the cross. I’ve learned in this season that it is vital for me submit my plans to the Lord allowing Him to direct my path. This all sounds great, and it has been – to an extent. Let me explain…

I have been seeking God, but I have been doing it in isolation. I’ve been acting like a young child who found a secret stash of candy. I convene with God in my private place; I talk with him, cry out to him, and lift my voice in praise to him. But when our meeting concludes I package him back up, tuck him back into my secret hiding place, and tell him I will see him for our next meeting. Through my isolation my communion with God became closer, but my ability to fight against the devil’s schemes was diminished. Why?

 Because you can’t compete in an active battle when your weapons are buried.

I will repeat…

YOU CAN’T COMPETE IN AN ACTIVE BATTLE WHEN YOUR WEAPONS ARE BURIED.

This statement became tangible to me while in Uganda, but it wasn’t until I came back to my comfort zone to dig my God out of a box that He revealed to me what it meant.

I woke up this morning to meet God. To dig Him out of the box I designed for Him, talk with him for my specified time, and then package him back up for our next meeting.

But, to my surprise, He wasn’t in my box when I woke up.

I couldn’t find my bible. My pen that I write with was outside in the car. My roommate was still home so I could not play my worship music like I wanted. My box was empty.

In that moment, I felt the presence of God saying to me, “I am your God, but I am also the God of all creation. Meet with me openly. Meet with me like you did on Tuesdays in Uganda.”

A glimpse of Tuesdays in Uganda crept into my memory.

Mzungu night. 

Over 20 of us squeezed into two small rooms. Introducing ourselves to one another. Having one on one talks about how the Lord is working in our lives. Dividing into groups. Preparing dinner together. Learning about our brothers and sisters in Christ who we had never met before. Eating together. Praising together. Worshipping together. Praying together. Opening the word together. Communing together. Doing life together. Living out Acts 2 together.

The Sozo interns hosted mzungu night each Tuesday to love on the team, have an American meal, and invite the team to worship with them. This group of 12 interns is a tangible embodiment of community. They love each other, meet each other’s needs, pray for one another, serve together, and collectively radiate the love of Christ to those around them. While I won’t go into detail about all of the interns, I want to share how I saw the truth of God about the importance of community exemplified through a few of the interns.

Kyle, Grey, and Mark – These are the male interns. These three lead the intern group so well. They lead devotions. Care for the girls. Act as exterminators to relieve the girls’ fears of rats. But most importantly, they challenge their group to walk in community together, to fulfill the calling of Christ to be ONE body.

Joy, Megan, & Jennifer- Through my two weeks in Uganda I saw these three lead numerous kids’ club gatherings (a twice weekly bible study for over 150 kids in the local village) with so much grace and patience. They read the book, oversaw the distribution of the craft, collected 150 plastic bags of crayons at the end, and all with smiles. The smiles alone were a testament to Christ in them because giving instruction to 150 kids who don’t speak your language ain’t easy.

Annie – Annie’s family sponsors a Sozo child. While I was there I had the opportunity to see Annie meet her sponsor sister for the first time. The sheer joy on her face was a lesson on the joy that comes the community.

Tonight John Gray preached an amazing sermon entitled, “No Words Needed.” Often times I am skeptical of catchy titles, but tonight’s title fully encompassed the depth of the message. In a culture were coming up with elaborate captions, statuses, or blog posts is applauded, to hear a sermon that reminds me of the fleeting pleasures associated with lofty talk was refreshing.

 As I reflect on the Scripture shared tonight (Luke 7:37-47), I see the restoration that comes when words fail and worship begins. The woman in the Scripture didn’t come to Christ confessing her sins, justifying her actions, or offering verbal praise. She knelt at the foot of the One she knew had the power to heal her brokenness, worshipped Him, and trusted fully in his redemptive power. Those around her wondered how Jesus could allow someone of her status to dwell so closely to him, but while they were casting judgment Jesus was examining the status of their hearts. Within the sinful woman, he saw brokenness, he saw a sinful past, but more than anything he saw her worshipping him with all that she had. Within the Pharisees and religious leaders, he saw self-exaltation, judgmental attitudes, and self-righteousness. He honored the woman and rebuked the religious leaders. Why? Because Jesus desires worship over words.

 Worship over words.

 Worship.

Over.

Words.

 The sermon tonight was a challenge for me to examine the fruit of my life exemplified through wholehearted worship, surrender, and obedience to Christ. I don’t want to be known as someone with lofty words and faulty actions. I pray that the Lord instills in me a quiet spirit  - one that is led by the Spirit, walking in constant communion with God. Because I believe that when I come to the end of me, when my self-sufficient attitude ceases to exist, then the power of God can be manifested within me to be to be a light to the world around me.

Tonight, as I sit and try to process the death of a person who seemingly had their entire life ahead, I find myself crying out to the Creator of the Universe asking Him to please help me understand His ways.

My dad often tells me, “Live a little longer Monica, you will see.” This is a statement that is often frustrating to me, but as I grow older (or live longer) I begin to understand the depth of this 8-word phrase.

The longer I live the more I come face to face with the reality of death. Death is an inevitable part of life. It’s the only statistic that holds 100% true. We live and we die. However, I commonly find myself wondering how something that is such a common occurrence and something we will all face, can bring so much fear, heartache, uncertainty, and sorrow.

I have found myself face to face with the harsh realities of death four times in the last year and nine times in the last two years; however, no matter how often I am confronted with terrible reality of death the process does not become easier. With each phone call and text message my heart breaks all over again. My soul aches. My head hurts. I become physically sick. The thought of never speaking to a loved one again on this side of heaven is debilitating. Grief consumes me. I enter a state of mourning. It seems like a never-ending cycle.

However, today I am challenging myself to do more than mourn the death of a friend. I am choosing to celebrate life. I am choosing to trust in the perfect plan of my Savior. I am choosing to cast my cares on the one who bore my sin. I am choosing joy.

The Savior of the World. Fully Man and Fully God. Born of a Virgin. Jesus Christ. He came to the earth to become the first born off all creation, reconciled to a right relationship with God, destined to spend eternity in Heaven. However, reconciliation came ONLY THROUGH DEATH. Christ died so that we can be made right with God BUT the grave could not hold Him. He lives beyond death. Beyond the grave. I serve a Savior who defeated death. He won the battle. It is over. Death has no power over those who have chosen to follow Christ.

So tonight as I sit in utter shock, I find comfort in the midst of mourning. My friends and loved ones who have passed away have hope beyond the grave. I mourn tonight because earth lost a precious, precious soul today, but I rejoice because my friend, my sister is pain free, in fellowship with Christ, worshipping at the foot of the King where pain, suffering, sorrow, and hurt cease to exist. I rejoice because Christ, who was one with God, didn’t consider equality with God as something to be grasped, but humbled Himself by taking on the form on a servant, being born in the likeness of man humbled himself by becoming obedient to the POINT OF DEATH. Therefore God has highly exalted Him, allowing Him to pave the way for all mankind, so that we might all experience the eternal joy of Heaven. Because of this truth, I MOURN THE DEATH OF MY FRIEND, BUT I CELEBRATE HER LIFE THAT EXTENDS INTO HEAVEN FOR ALL ETERNITY.

2 Corinthians 5:1-9

When I boarded the plane to Uganda on December 3, 2015, I was praying earnestly for the Lord to restore unto me the joy of my salvation that had been, for the most part, absent from my life leading up to my trip. The devastating loss of a close friend in July, immobilized my walk with Christ. Let me explain… my faith was not shaken and I still believed (and currently believe) that the Lord is my all-sufficient Savior who reconciled my relationship with God, the Father, through His death on the cross. However, my pursuit of an active relationship with Christ was halted in July when I felt like the heartache of death replaced the joy granted to me by Christ.

 As I prepared to go to Uganda, I prayed earnestly for the Lord to restore the joy I so desperately longed for. I have always been taught, “happiness is circumstantial but joy is eternal;” therefore, it was difficult for me to understand how my joy could be depleted based on my circumstances. These uncertainties ultimately led to prayers of desperation for the Lord to intercede in my life, comfort me in the midst of my storm, reignite my fire to pursue Him, and restore unto me the joy of my salvation.

 LESSON 1: JOY COMES THROUGH COMMUNITY.

 For the first week of my trip, I led a team of four amazing women of God from Florida. I accepted the leadership opportunity reluctantly because I felt insufficient to lead from a valley. When I began the trip, I thought I had to put on a façade that I had it all together. This act came to a crashing halt on the third night when we sat to share our testimonies. By expressing my vulnerabilities to my team through my testimony, I learned that they didn’t need a “perfect leader” they needed a leader broken at the foot of the cross, surrendered wholeheartedly to God’s will, and willing to be made new again in Christ. I also learned that they were fighting similar battles, and one of my team members was in a season that was VERY similar to the season I am in. This was the first instance where I felt my joy being restored. God, in his infinite wisdom, placed “my best” on my team to show me that I am not in the valley alone. He placed her on my team to show me the importance of staying connected to the body of Christ and the joy that comes from having someone who can say, “I understand where you are, but OUR God is sufficient to meet my needs and yours.” When I removed my façade, came face to face with my circumstances, and surrendered my weakness, fears, and worries at the foot of the cross God began restoring my joy through time spent in community with others in the body of Christ. Four days after the team departed, I received a text that said, “With a deeply thankful heart, I can honestly say you helped me find joy!” In return I sincerely say, “You did the same for me, my friend.”

  LESSON 2: JOY COMES FROM WORSHIP

 The night before my team left Uganda, we entered into our daily devotion with no real expectations beyond the “typical” devotion experience. Well, we quickly learned that this wasn’t going to be a typical experience. The kids are beating the drums passionately, singing loudly, and praising God with excitement. Junior is leading devotion and engaging everyone to actively participate. In the midst of our praise, the lights go out. The room becomes so dark that we can’t see our hands in front of our faces BUT praise never stops! The kids begin praising even more energetically. Then Junior announces, “Prepare your hearts as we are going to worship.” The room begins to ring with Luganda and English prayers being offered to the same God who hears each of our prayers, regardless of the language spoken. We begin worshipping and the lights return. The older boys are down on their knees offering their worship to God. John 4:24 is more real to me at this point than ever before, “A time is comes and is even here now, when true worshippers will worship in spirit and truth.” We move on to prayer and with the same reverent hearts the kids call out to God thanking him for the work he has done in their lives, pray for their current circumstances, and commit their lives into his hands. I decided not to be a spectator and to join together with my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray earnestly to Our God. When I walked away from devotion I felt a joy in my innermost being that was undeniably the result of the Spirit of God that dwells within me.

 LESSON 3: JOY COMES WHEN WE REALIZE THAT CHRIST IS GREATER THAN OUR CICRCUMSTANCES.

 After a week my team left and headed back to the states. While God began the restoration of my joy through time spent with them, He was far from finished. The week after my team left I had the opportunity to begin delivering Christmas gifts to the Sozo children. While there are MANY stories I can share to show how God used delivering gifts to restore my joy, I will focus on one. We traveled late one day to deliver gifts to Keziah and her brothers. When we entered with their backpacks, the children immediately started laughing and speaking in Luganda. We explained to them that their Christmas has been provided by their sponsors, individuals who commit to monthly giving to provide for their basic needs, and that we would be delivering the gifts and taking pictures to share with their sponsors. Keziah immediately started practicing her poses and eagerly raised her hand when I asked who wanted to get their gifts first. I handed her the backpack and she opened it with wide eyes and a bright smile. First she pulls out her dress. “YES!” she exclaims. Next, are her light pink shoes. “Maama, look at my shoes!” Then come the toiletries. “Here, maama. Look, maama. This is good, maama,” I hear. Finally, she reached into her bag and pulls out the baby doll she had asked for. No words come at first. Then comes the screech. Followed by a sincere embrace where she just hugs her baby doll. Keziah opened her gifts on a cement floor, in a dark room, days before Christmas. Her Christmas morning won’t look like the “typical American Christmas,” but when asked what she will look forward to on Christmas she simply replied, “I am happy to go to church with my family, eat food, and wear my new dress.” The simplicity of Keziah’s joy was indescribably impactful for me. Keziah lives in an environment that many Americans would refer to as “poor,” “unsafe,” and “unsanitary,” but while physical needs are very present in Keziah’s community, the joy of the community is abundant and their hope in Christ is sufficient. Sweet Keziah was a vessel used by God to help restore my joy by providing me with a tangible example of pure joy made whole by the presence and power of Christ.

There is heaviness on my heart today as I prepare to fly over to Uganda. I think about the events that are occurring more and more frequently across the world on a daily basis. Massacres that take place in our own backyards and abroad. These events lead people to constantly question why I travel in the midst of such chaos and uncertainty in the world. Well, here is my best answer:

 Christ is sufficient.

 I would be lying to every person reading this if I said that fear doesn’t sometime cloud my perspective and shape my actions. Even today, as I prepared to travel to the airport I thought of all the risks associated with my journey; however, I challenged myself to also consider the alternative…the joy associated with following the will of God. I challenged myself to remain cognizant of the issues in the world while keeping my eyes set on the author and perfecter of my faith, Jesus. Christ came so that fear loses its debilitating power over those covered by the blood of Christ. (Note: I didn’t say fear become nonexistent. I said it loses its power).  I choose to walk in that freedom.

 There is an undeniable evil that exists in the world. There are daily reports of individuals killed because of their beliefs, discriminated against because of the color of their skin or their religious affiliation, denied basic liberties because of their socioeconomic status, or condemned because of their lifestyles. The evil is very tangible and widely publicized.

 However, I choose to focus on the never changing joy and peace allotted to me by the One who saved my soul. There is a risk associated with proclaiming the Gospel of Christ and acknowledging Him as Lord. (And contrary to popular belief, the risk is present on American soil and abroad.) The risk is great BUT the reward is so much greater. The risks are centered on our earthly existence while the reward is eternal. Therefore, I choose to follow the command of Christ to keep an eternal perspective in a temporal world. My eternal perspective drives fear to my peripheral and sets my focus on Christ alone.

 Today, as I board my flight to Uganda I am aware of the events that are occurring throughout the world. My heart breaks for the people of Paris, Kenya, Nepal, San Bernardino, Colorado, and every other population experiencing immense heartache today. The souls lost in the aforementioned territories are my motivation to utilize every ounce of energy I have to make his name known among the nations.  

“I sank into a valley.”

At approximately 6:30pm on July 13, 2015, I received about 4 consecutive calls from my grandmother followed by two calls from my cousin. I was preparing to go to Breakout Birmingham so I simply thought, “oh, I will call them back later.” However, as I entered the Breakout room I looked down at my phone to a message that stated,

“They say Snoop just drowned call somebody”

At that moment numbness overcame my body. I mustered the strength to tell the group that I needed to step outside. I slowly walked outside and called my cousin. She confirmed she had been told Snoop had drowned in Florida; however, she didn’t know 100% so she instructed me to call my grandmother to see if it was true. I felt a sense of hope after she hung up. I thought to myself, “This isn’t true. Snoop is in Florida. She is confused.” I proceeded to call my grandmother. The phone rang and rang. When she answered all I could hear was sobbing. At that moment my heart sank because I knew it was true. She said the words that I dreaded.

“Snoop is dead! Judy, Snoop is dead. He drowned. Lord, help me.”

I couldn’t bear to face the reality so I hung up the phone. I proceeded to call my mom. The phone rang for what seemed like an eternity and then went to voicemail. I hung up and called 4 more times. Still no answer. I felt so alone. I had 7 people inside who I knew would love me through this, who would do anything they could to comfort me, and who would drive me to Tuscaloosa to be with my family; however, I felt as if I had no one. Minutes later my mom called back. She sounded “normal” so I knew she had no idea. I was immediately filled with anger and sadness. Anger because I called 5 times and she didn’t answer. Sadness because I was about to tell her news that would break her heart

I said, “Have you heard what happened?”

She responded, “No, what?”

I said, “Momma, Snoop drowned.”

She responded, “Judy, stop playing.”

I frantically stated, “Why would I play about something like this? Momma, Snoop drowned. Snoop is dead!”

At that moment, the reality of the statement consumed me. The permanency of the statement overwhelmed me. Numbness overcame me.

I drove from Birmingham to Tuscaloosa in a daze. Numerous people volunteered to drive me; however, I felt the need to be alone. I made it to Moundville and arrived at Snoop’s mom’s house. The yard was filled with people. People who had come to “pay their respects.” I whispered to myself, “This can’t be true. Please God, don’t let it be true.” I made my way through the yard, up the steps, into the house, through the living room, and into Snoop’s mom’s room. She was hysterically crying. I knew it was true. My heart broke. My soul felt weak. I sank into a valley.

The valley is overwhelming. Many days I don’t know if I will every reach my mountaintop again, but I have chosen to embrace the journey. I have chosen to place my hope and faith in the One who is able to take me from the valley to the mountaintop. I have chosen to stop climbing an uphill battle out of the valley and submit to Christ who is with me in the valley and who will bring me out in His timing.

I am endeavoring to share my journey from the valley to the mountaintop with you. I anticipate that the journey will be long, there will be days when I want to give up, there will be times when I look to something other than Christ to get me out of the valley, and there will be a vast array of emotions, defeats, and trials along the way. Bear with me because though the journey be long, my God is faithful.

Today as I arise to begin my day and go about life as usual, my heart is broken for the situation in Ferguson, Missouri. Yesterday, the grand jury returned with a decision not to indict the officer who shot and killed Michael Brown earlier this year.

Since the verdict was handed down there have been riots and countless individuals have taken to social media to express their feelings about Ferguson. My heart breaks for the lost in this situation. The people who don’t know the living, sovereign, and just God that I serve. These individuals are being driven by their feelings. They either stand firmly behind the officer, want vengeance for Mike Brown, or are indifferent because it doesn’t affect them. As a believer, I will pray without ceasing for these individuals.

HOWEVER, my soul aches for Christians who have taken a stand on this case. As Christians, the Word of God is the lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105). But my heart aches as I see Christians justifying the killing of an 18 year old child or asking for the head of the police officer on a platter. The Word of God says that there is only ONE lawgiver and judge (James 4:12), and when I last checked it was the Most High God who is seated on the throne of Heaven. Yet I see so many Christians who, in their own self-righteous, are judging the Ferguson case.

How can we who proclaim to be a loving people, who want to see souls rescued for the Lord, make such harsh comments concerning the life of a human being? Last time I checked Christ died for the sinner (and yes “Christian” that includes you, me, and the lost world as well). Then how can we, as people who have been washed by the blood of Jesus, not show grace and mercy. How are we not heartbroken for the lost life of a child? Remember the Scripture that states the kingdom of God belongs to CHILDREN? (Matthew 19:14). Mike Brown was 18; he was a CHILD. Therefore, the kingdom of Heaven belongs to him. Regardless of the facts, a mother has lost her child in this tragedy. Let’s say he did try to rob the convenience store. That’s a sin, but again let’s remember Scripture. Jesus said, “Let he without sin cast the first stone.” (John 8:7). We all sin and fall short of the glory of God, but does that mean we should be shot and killed at the discretion of another human being? NO, Christ's blood paid the debt for ALL mankind’s sin. Yes, even the big black kid in Ferguson, Missouri. So, I ask how are we as Christians not heartbroken for the lost life of an 18 year old child?

I have also seen another set of opinions on the case. This is that of individuals who are outraged at the decision of the grand jury. I’ve seen post that have been disturbing to read that detail what individuals want to see done to the officer or “what they would have done.” But again, as Christians we are called to follow the Word of God. As Christians, how can we so adamantly fight for another life to be lost or taken when the loss of Michael Brown’s life has already been so devastating? The Word states that judgment is for God alone and we will all stand before His judgment seat (Roman 14:10)  The officer in the case has to live with the weight of his actions all the days of his life. I am not saying I know how he feels, whether he feels remorseful or justified; what I am saying is that this is not something he will soon forget. So, I urge believers to pray for this officer without taking stand to justify or condemn his action. Remember, that’s the Lord’s job.

We all have opinions on this case. Personally, I am devastated at how much this case has reopened issues of race relations. I will make a bold statement…I think the Ferguson case has once again racially divided our nation. I am not saying that this is a black or white issue, but through the posts I have seen on social media there is a VERY clear difference in opinion among the races. This breaks my heart to know that race is still an issue at the forefront of American society almost 150 years after slavery was abolished and almost 50 years after major legislation was passed during the Civil Rights Movement. I pray earnestly for the day when we will be an equal nation where individuals aren’t stereotyped, identified, judged, or condemned by the color of their skin. But until that day comes, I will fix my eyes on the author and perfecter of my faith who see us all as sons and daughters of ONE God, equally loved.

Dear Little Black Girl,

            I am writing this letter to encourage you to pursue your greatest dream. I am writing this letter to encourage you to be the best that you can be. Throughout your life there will be many people who will try to discourage you. They will tell you what you can’t do. I am writing you to tell you what you can do. So, take five minutes to read this and allow it to encourage you.

            If you are old enough to read this chances are that you have endured many trials in your life.  As a little black girl living in America, the statistics are not in your favor. Statistical research has found that there is a 50% chance that you will not graduate high school. Research also says that if you finish high school you will not receive a Bachelor’s Degree in the normal four-year time frame. Statistical research has found that your chances of contracting the HIV virus is nineteen times greater than your white counterparts. Statistical research has also found that you are likely to become a single mother at a rate much higher than other races in America. These statistics are not in your favor. However, you are not bound to these statistics. You have the capacity to change these statistics, but only if you believe that you are capable of overcoming the barriers that you will face.

            You have the ability to accomplish great things. As a little black girl I was told that there were limits to the things I could accomplish. I was told that there were dreams too big for me to even think of achieving. However, I have always believed that I was created for a greater purpose and I was not bound by the people around me telling me what I couldn’t do. The American culture has led us to believe that our worth is defined by society. I am here to tell you that your worth is found in Christ alone. When He created you He destined you to fulfill His will for your life. He has equipped you uniquely to accomplish His purposes for your life. You have a capacity for greatness. You were created with a divine purpose.

            I challenge you to break racial barriers, to disprove the statistics, to redefine America’s perception of little black girls. This will not be an easy task, the odds are against you. There will times when even you will believe that you don’t have to potential to effect change in society. However, no victory comes with opposition and obstacles. The greatest successes are the results of many failures. You will become weary; however, I encourage to look to those who have gone before you as great African American matriarchs. I encourage you to explore the roots of African American history. Read the stories of Harriet Tubman, Madam C.J. Walker, Dr. Eliza Ann Grier, Bessie Coleman, Ida B. Wells, Rosa Parks, Coretta Scott King, Maya Angelou, and Michelle Obama. Let the courage that these women have exemplified motivate you.

            You are a little black girl who has the potential to grown into a strong black woman. Dream big. Set goals. Work hard. Pray without ceasing. Accomplish your greatest dreams.

                                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                Monica Blackmon

Acts 2: 42-47 states, “They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

As I read this description of the church in Acts 2, I am filled with joy as I see what the church was created to be and heartbroken at what the church has become. The Acts 2 church is characterized by constant fellowship, devotion to the Word of God, constant prayer, caring for those in need, continual praise, and unexplainable JOY.  However, in American culture the church has become known as a judgmental, unwelcoming, unloving, exclusive gathering of those who “proclaim” to know Jesus. How have we strayed so far from the Acts 2 model of the church?

The church isn’t a meeting place on Sundays and Wednesdays. The church is Christians proclaiming Christ every hour of every day. The church isn’t place to come and pretend we have it “all together.” The church is a place where we come and surrender all of our burdens to the One who gave His life so that we could experience abundant life. The church isn’t an exclusive gathering. The church is where ALL are welcome to experience the redemptive love and unexplainable grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. The church isn’t a place to come and feel “dirty” and “unlovable” because of sin in your life. The church is a place to come and be loved despite your sin because Jesus has paid your debt and cleansed you of the stain of sin. The church isn’t a place where you come and feel unwelcomed. The church is a place where you can come when the rest of the world rejects you. The church is the place where you are loved despite your greatest flaws. The church is the Word of God being lived out in our homes, schools, workplaces, communities, states, nations, and WORLD!

Are we, as the body of Christ, living out this Biblical depiction of the Church? As a devoted member of an American Church, my heart breaks as I answer “no” to this question. As a believer I pass people every day who need to know Jesus. I pass people searching for love, joy, peace, hope, and purpose. As a believer who claims to know and love Jesus, I horde the truth of Gospel. I selfishly cling to Jesus. I attend MY church every Sunday without inviting a single person to join me. My heart breaks as I sit and reflect on the many people who need ME to share Jesus with them; yet I go about life as usual because I know Jesus. I go through life comfortably waiting until I am united with Christ in Heaven without thinking about the many people I pass who don’t know Jesus and will spend eternity separated from the Savior of the world. I am afraid that I may represent the typical American church member. I am afraid that the selfishness I experience is common in the church today. This terrifies me.

Lord,

Four months ago I boarded a plane to say "yes," to Your command to "Go." I had no idea that I was beginning a journey of finding myself. I was prepared to go serve in a children's home, witness You at work in Uganda, and to simply be Your hands and feet. I experienced all of those things; however, my most significant experience in Uganda was getting lost in You as I found myself. As I learned to surrender all to You, You opened my heart to give and receive love. You revealed my purpose in life.

 In Uganda I was challenged to surrender ALL of myself to You, Lord. You revealed to me how much You desire to be Lord of my life. Through Your word, I learned how important I am to You. Lord, You are the creator of the universe yet You desire fellowship with me. You know every detail of my being. You have my name imprinted on Your palm. You knit me together in my mother's womb. You are enthralled by beauty. Your thoughts about me are as numerous as the grains of sand on the seashore. YOU LOVE ME. Lord, You love me. You love me. I am speechless as I try to wrap my finite mind around the truth that You love me. I am lost in the magnitude of Your love for me. Through this lostness I am finding myself. I'm finding myself as I not only read what Your word says about Your love for me, but as I also BELIEVE the truth Your word reveals. Lord, I surrender all to You and ask that You continue to reveal Yourself to me.

 I discovered my God-given purpose through whole hearted surrender to You, Lord. You revealed Your purpose for me to spend myself on behalf of the fatherless and to disciple younger girls. You have revealed to me that I can't invest four months in the lives of these children and walk away. You have also revealed to me that  I have to remain faithful the relationships I have formed as I have had the opportunity to disciple younger girls prior to my service in Uganda. You are revealing to me what true discipleship is. True discipleship is a lifelong commitment. As I reintegrate into the "comforts" of American society, my heart longs to be back in Uganda. Lord, I haven't gone an hour without thinking about and longing to return to Uganda. I long to love on the precious children who captured my heart. However, through these longings I learn to draw closer to You. I'm learning that faithfulness is more than saying "yes" to the command to "go." Faithfulness is also being obedient to return when You call. As much as I selfishly desire to be in Uganda, I am confident that You are calling me to serve You both in America and in Uganda. Lord, I know that You are faithful to give me the desires of my heart. My soul desire is to do Your will. Thank You, Lord, for providing me with the opportunity to serve You with life.

 Amen.