Things

- Fix little parts of their clothes, and tie their laces.

- Use their favorite petnames when greeting.

- Spoonfeed them, and bonus, say “aaaah” while you do.

- “Good job, baby!” for praise, plus a sticker for rewards.

- “Let me help; you’re a bit too little for that, aren’t you?”

Little ones hate these tricks!!!

Effective immediately. No deviations without Daddy's approval.

7:00 AM – Wake up. Daddy checks diaper. Morning change on the changing table.

7:30 AM – Bottle feeding on Daddy's lap. No holding your own bottle. Breakfast in the highchair after.

8:00 AM – 10:00 AM – Playpen time while Daddy works. Crayons, blocks, approved cartoons. No electronics.

10:00 AM – Diaper change.

10:30 AM – 12:00 PM – Tummy time / crawling practice in Daddy's office.

12:00 PM – Lunch in the highchair (finger foods, cut small). Baby bottle only.

12:30 PM – Diaper check.

1:00 PM – 3:00 PM – Nap time in crib with all your stuffies. Pacifier required.

3:00 PM – Diaper change. Outdoor outfit (skirt, onesie, sneakers).

3:30 PM – 5:00 PM – Afternoon outing (park, errands, or stroller walk). You stay close and hold Daddy's hand at all times.

5:00 PM – Home. Onesie unsnapped. Diaper check.

5:30 PM – 6:30 PM – Free play in living room. Supervised.

6:30 PM – Bath time. Daddy gets you all clean after playing in the park.

7:00 PM – Bedtime double diaper (extra thick). Powder. Cute onesie (maybe).

7:30 PM – Bottle and story on Daddy's chest.

8:00 PM – Special playtime. Daddy's hand slides beneath your diaper. You moan. He shushes you like a fussy baby. He coaxes that tight, sleepy pleasure out of you while you hug your stuffie. "There we are, baby. I know. There it is."

8:30 PM – Crib. Lights out. Pacifier in.