the arcade's mogai corner

[PT: pinned post /end PT]

hihi!! we're the arcade, a 21 y/o system who uses he/it collectively!! this is a blog for us to reblog terms we (both as a collective and as individual people) identify with, as well as speak on our experiences with our respective queer identities :-)

dividers by @enchanthings

[ID: A light brown divider line, with the previous, play, and next buttons typically used on music apps in the middle, in the same color as the line. /End ID]

tagging system:

[PT: tagging system: /end PT]

collective id: labels we identify with on a collective level

id: [name]: labels that specific alters identify with

speaker: [name]: tags to find stuff said by a specific alter. posts made by multiple alters or as a collective will be tagged with "speaker: collective" (like this post)

[ID: A light brown divider line, with the previous, play, and next buttons typically used on music apps in the middle, in the same color as the line. /End ID]

further info on us as individual alters under the cut!!

Tagging @dragonpride17 @radiomogai

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 22: View - how do your views (on the world, on society, etc.) affect your identity, especially your MOGAI identity?

I'll be honest, I have never thought about this! I'm sure they do, theyr'e bound to, but still. I guess the main way I notice them impacting my identity is via how I see relationships and how they're labeled: because of our alexithymia and dissociation, we struggle with figuring out the exact feelings we're feeling, and thus trying to do so is too difficult to be practical, so we go by how we want the relationship to be perceived by others outside of it.

Day 23: When? - are there any important dates when it comes to your identity? when did you discover the MOGAI and/or queer communities, or that you were MOGAI/queer?

Oh gods- memory issues mean this is difficult to know, but- we realized we were queer in some form at age 12, some form of trans (used here as an umbrella term to mean "not cis") at age 14, transmasc specifically at age 16, and we started going by MOGAI identities... really recently actually, I think either this year or last year

Day 24 & 25: Xenogender - are you xenogender? what are your thoughts on the label? & Y (Why)? - why are you part of this community?

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 21: Unity - what are your feelings toward the MOGAI community? do you consider yourself part of it?

Tagging @dragonpride17 @radiomogai

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 20: Terminology - what terminology do you use to describe yourself, and/or what others refer to you as? is it typical of your gender? does it vary by what setting you’re in?

Tagging @dragonpride17 @radiomogai

This links back to my answer to day 3's prompt (Culture), in that the terminology I use depends on what language I'm speaking. Really, the ideal terminology I use doesn't exist in Portuguese, since my main genders are MOGAI terms that were coined in English. I settle for masculine terms in Portuguese, but that's really just because there's no alternative.

As for English, while masculine terminology is also okay, I really like when my neoumbrellas' terminology (aka terms for sunsiney, monachine, pokéven, and craftine people) gets used! I'm most used to sunsiney terminology, but I tend to like them all. That being said, I want to make a little list of what terms I prefer from those four!! Some didn't have options for certain terms, but I did my best :3

Individual: Sunburst = Misfit > Mob > Pokéventurer

Adult: Jocket = Sunspot > Loser

Partner: Diamond > Halofriend = Advenfriend

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 19: Structure - how do you conceptualize your identity as a whole? how is it structured or divided, if at all?

Tagging @dragonpride17 @radiomogai

I can't speak for everyone in our polyplex, but I (Tommy) have types of labels/identities! I think of them as tags in a database, if that makes sense. Here they are!

Primary: Identities that are VERY important to my sense of self; without them, I would be a fundamentally different person. These generally have aspects of most or all the other types of Identities listed here.

Appearance Identities: Identities that primarily influence me from an appearance standpoint. It is rare for me to have identities that only, or primarily, affect my sense of self like this; generally, if a source is an appearance source, it is also some other type of source, likely a primary one.

Behavioural Identities: Identities that primarily influence me from a behaviour standpoint, without necessarily influencing my personality, emotions, etc.

Personality Identities: Identities that primarily influence me from a personality standpoint. These usually go hand in hand with emotional identities, but don’t have to.

Memory Identities: Identities that primarily influence me from a memories standpoint. These are usually plural identities, but not inherently.

Emotional Identities: Identities that primarily influence me from an emotional standpoint. These usually go hand in hand with personality identities, but do not have to.

Identities by Proxy: Identities that I primarily identify with because those dear to me do too

Mixed Identities: Identities that do not fall under any of the previous categories, but aren’t a small enough part of my identity to fall under the following category.

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 18: Relationships - how do you approach relationships, romantic or otherwise? what does an ideal relationship look like to you?

tagging @dragonpride17 @radiomogai

I think I use the word partnerships to refer to what you're talking about? Personally, conflating the word relationships with "person/people you're partners with" feels very amatonormative, since it implies that friendships, familial relations, etc., aren't a form of relationships, which is just- not true.

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 17: Queerness - do you consider yourself queer? what does queerness mean to you?

oh yes, and we consider people who feel like its use should be retired a hell of a red flag, at least for our personal peace of mind/engagement with those people. queer means... to us, being queer vs being lgbt+ is the difference between a black activist vs a black person, if that makes sense? in that- yes, they both face adversities, they both have to advocate for themselves, but queer carries a sort of political weight to it? that implies a sharper edge, in our mind at least.

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 16: Plurality - are you plural? what ways does plurality affect your identity?

yes we are. we're a polyplex (essentially a system of systems), which makes collective identity an actual nightmare to figure out, enough so that our coll. identities, both as systems and as a polyplex, are more chosen on how we want to be perceived than they are inherently felt. besides that, though, um- i guess, much like how our neurodivergence affects basically everything, and in a way where it's hard to tell how much it does, our plurality also affects basically everything. it's especially hard to figure out an individual identity when you're basically never alone, after all.

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 15: Orientation - talk about your orientation/attraction! what is it? does it feel or work a certain way?

milo: um. i just showed up rip but like. lesbian ig? idk i barely go here

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 14: Neurodivergence - are you neurodivergent? how does your neurodivergence or mental health affect your identity?

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 13: Modality - what’s your relationship to gender modality – trans, cis, iso, amodal, etc?

That is a question with an answer that varies from alter to alter; on a collective level, though, we identify as transmasculine, typically trans guy but it varies, and honestly being seen as trans- is more important than being gendered correctly? Like, we're more akin to a trans guy within the spectrum of transmasculinity, but if someone saw us as butch, or nonbinary, or transfem, or whatever, we'd take that any day of the week over being seen as cishet. Being seen as some sort of trans-, or really queer in general, is our primary goal.

Tommy's answer

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 12: Love - do you experience love? in what ways? what’s your relationship to love as a concept?

I definitely love things, but loving people is... both rarer and trickier. I mean, I love a LOT, and often! But rarely is the target of that love a person. yk? It's likely trauma informed, but... people leave, things don't, if that makes sense. And love as an experience is very different with things than with people- I think I'd get overwhelmed if I felt the intense love I feel for, say, Pokémon, every time I talked to/thought about a loved one. Love for people is... gentler. It's comfort as opposed to excitement, if that makes sense.

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 11: Knowledge - is there something you wish was more widely known? share a fun fact about MOGAI or your identity!

Hmmmm I can't think of anything in particular? I guess, I wish nonbinary identities, including neo- & xenogenders, were more widely recognized and had more... I guess, established ways of presenting? I REALLY want to present and be recognized as sunsine, it's SUPER important to me and my identity! But it's simply not recognized, so I kinda have to settle for transmasculinity. And I don't mind being seen as transmasculine, but it still sucks to not be able to present the way I want to.

As for fun facts... I have nothing on MOGAI & whatnot, but I do have the story I love to tell about 12 year old us, who then identified as bisexual, who was nervous that people would hear her listening to the Coming Out Song (link) by Ally Hills, because she didn't want people to think she was a lesbian... and then promptly identifying as a lesbian for 4 years following. So yk, that aged lmfaooooo

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 10: Joy - how do you find joy in your identity? what does it look and feel like to you?

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 9: Intersex - are you intersex or questioning? how has it affected your identity?

[CW mentions of genitals]

Not- to our knowledge? It's hard to be 100% sure, our brain creates a sort of. Barrier, I suppose, regarding anything that involves genitals and whatnot so actually checking if ours match up with the expected ones is... difficult. We're not actively questioning, but we're not... I guess you could say we're open to the idea? I'm not really sure how to phrase this one, I'm afraid, but this is the best I can do at the moment.

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 8: Hoard - are you a hoarder? how does this affect your MOGAI identity? if you collect terms, how do you organize them?

Some of us are, yes. We all share labels that fit others' identities with each other as a form of pebbling & affection, but some of us actively look for more labels for ourselves. While I'm not 100% sure on exact numbers, I think Tommy has the biggest label collection, with myself (Skye) as a close second, if memory serves. It serves as a way of better identifying things that are important to us, which is difficult without some sort of prompting due to alexithymia and general lack of sense of self.

We like sharing them, so here are (some of) our collections. Most are on Google Slides, but I personally have been working on making a version on Notion so I can more easily look for a specific theme within my collection.

Icarus - Link

Lee - Link

Mira - Link

Skye - Link

Talon - Link

Tommy - Link

from the MOGAI ABCs prompt list:

Day 7: Gender - what’s your experience with gender? how do you understand it?

That is not an easy question to answer with our level of alexithymia and identity variation due to plurality. We're going to answer as a collective first, and then as individuals (those of us in front, anyways)

As a collective

We have very little instinctual collective identity? By which I mean, our collective identity is more chosen than, say, had? We think of it like the back up textures videogames use when the specific object's texture is missing, if that makes sense.

Because of this, I guess the gender label that best applies to us as a collective would be agender? With a masculine presentation as default, since we are out as a trans man to most people we know irl.

As an individual - Talon

The most important label I use for my gender is trans man. My masculinity/being a man is inherently trans, the two cannot be separated. This is important enough that the rest of my gender labels are almost entirely accessorial to my transmasculinity, or stem from it.

The only other gender label I find relevant to bring up is the fact that I'm also archtransalfosic. I find a lot of comfort in seeing queer people of the past as my ancestors, maybe not by blood but definitely in spirit and by culture. I find a lot of comfort in using older/historical queeer labels, like being a butch man, because of this. Queer history and culture is my history and culture, and it means a lot to me.

As an individual - Rumi

When I first formed, I was identifying as an agender woman. I now feel that I do have a gender, though I don't really know how to put it into words yet. I think, if/when I find a label that fits, I'll recognize it, but that has yet to happen unfortunately.