Model Lexi Von

And on my birthday she got all fired up and threw it in my face like it was something to be proud of. Because I told her I didn’t need to know anything about her personal life, which somehow offended her?

Anyway. He at some point responded by telling her he apparently cheated on her with me twice. I didn’t know that had happened until I read it. Standing in my kitchen trying to put together a home cooked meal, caught in the middle of some awful episode of Jerry Springer, being told to “learn to take better care of my man” by a woman I’ve seen overdose on heroine because a mutual friend called me for help.

When I tried to deescalate it got worse. When I stooped to her level it got worse (and I felt very embarrassed of myself after). She literally threatened me with physical violence because I tried to maintain a boundary I (thought) I established nearly two years ago. And somehow I’m expected to go pick up the kids from her today.

And my husband can’t understand why I’m upset and literally called me abusive because I am upset and I tried to talk to him about it and he tried to act like it wasn’t his fault in any way and he has no control over the situation and it can’t be helped. He tried to avoid any level of personal accountability. And when I explained to him exactly how and why he was accountable he screamed at me for “treating him like he’s a stupid child.” And really I’m done with it. I’m too old for this shit. I don’t have energy for this drama.

I have a bit of a head cold which is dampening my spirits. And all the same usual stagnation that I can’t seem to sort out what to do with.

Many things seem to come to weigh me down when I start to think I’m doing better.

I recently deleted Facebook. So here’s a bunch of pictures from when I was in high school.

I had to call off work today because my Bun woke up with a fever. If she has a fever daycare won’t take her. I called my job and informed the manager on duty that I couldn’t take the child to daycare because of her fever. The response was “Oh no, you’re the third person to call off today.”

Okay.

Every time he’s felt the need to bring up the fact that he has a ~lawyer~.

Ever since he inherited whatever from the untimely death of his adoptive father he’s been exceedingly weird. So many of his words and behaviors suddenly became strangely manipulative in ways I couldn’t quite grasp. And now here we are. Custody battle. And for why? Because he needs to try to win? Because he has something to prove to his grandmother or mother or girlfriend? Because he got himself in over his head in a lie one time when he ditched Scarlett and this has become his only option aside from telling the truth? Who the hell knows. I can’t help but speculate. With as much as he complains about child support I can’t imagine what he’d do about actually doing all of the supporting. As much as he complains about ever having to drive more than 2 and a half minutes I can’t imagine how he’s going to deal with her growing up and having friends.