doctor, doctor.

@mithrani​

“OH NO, BOTH OF MY ARMS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OFF IN THE CRASH, I AM IN AGONY, I AM– haha, just kidding! I don’t experience pain and I am reprinting a new shell for myself as we speak! How are you doing, Doctor? Good? Bad? Status report!”

Xari is screaming—Breville lost their ARMS, so she’s going to need to... to... do something! She’s a doctor for crying out loud! “ARMS! Arms, arms, where are you? Where?” It’s a babble, coming from her at this point, “Breville! Wh—” What was she going to ask? Wait, why does Breville not have their ARMS?

“It’s a short mission, no one who is strong will succumb to infection in a mere matter of days,” she argues, completely ignorant, but stubborn, “And you will stay. Only because it is too late to make you leave.” 

"I’m here because it’s too late to leave me back at base.” Her antennae flashed with irritation and she took a deep breath, slipping back into the a nicer demeanor. This was going to be one long mission. “Of course, co-captain. Do you want me to do anything during this mission?”

"Would you prefer your preliminary diagnostics to be invasive or not? Because I might have to take a sample and if you don’t want it, I’d be happy to perform something else.”

Thousands Of Gun Owners In Florida Plan To ‘Shoot Down’ Hurricane. Florida Man Breaks INTO Jail To Hang With Friends. Florida Man Disguises Self In Bull Costume As He Tries To Burn Down Former Lover’s House With Pasta Sauce.

It really is all very concerning. They may have to expect the unexpected from Monty.

“Oh, thank you for asking!” Breville’s own antenna rods do a cheerful little bounce. “I run my own weekly diagnostics, but I’m actually not an expert, so I check in with technicians now and then.” They were built for ship-fixing, not analyzing their own code. Besides, it’s a little weird in there! “Who runs your diagnostics?”

“Well, myself I suppose!” Breville was cheery—a breath of fresh air to the weird, tense mood that the ship was on. The excitement and adrenaline was draining off her fast and she wanted to not think about a lot of things right now. Just stick to her guns, do the job. “A little weird, considering I am the doctor, but I’ve done it before.”

“it is very exciting. there is so much more of a chance for me to find things here. do you know how many new little bugs i might find? hundreds. i cannot wait.” mel said. “how long will the diagnostic take?”

“Oh, depends. We have Alpha’s vessel—I’m sure diagnostics won’t take more than a half hour or so.” She looks at Melara and smiles good-naturedly. Their cataloger, at least, seemed to be enthused about what was happening. “Please don’t get bitten by bugs—I haven’t synthesized any new antivenoms yet. Try to proceed with caution, won’t you?”

        ‘  they … they don’t seem to care what happens ?  ’      tergi observes to the other. between the pilot’s rash choices that lead to destruction of parts of the ship before they even took off, the captain’s unyielding positivity, and the co captain’s want to punch their employers, he was slightly worried about their prospects.  ‘  maybe i’m being to harsh. have you worked with these guys before ?  ’  he’d only known them as long as they had been assigned to this mission, which was now something very different.       @mithrani​

"Cabbie’s a dear,” she replies, her antennae glowing a little brightly in response. True, they were on a hunk of metal careening towards an unknown planet, but they were doing it in style, and under Cabbie’s piloting, Breville’s leadership, she had a good... feeling about it all. “Vorna’s new, and I can’t place... well, most of you, really. I’ve only known Cabbie the longest, and even then, well...” She trails off, holding the holographic board, trying to run through the initial findings. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

❛  uh.  ❜  an  awkward  smile  sat  on  his  face  as  he  took  a  half  step  back.  ❛  well  i  appreciate  you  asking  but  my  mama  told  me  not  to  tell  anyone  about  my  private  business  unless  they  were  my  doctor.  ❜  after  a  moment,  monty  asked,  sincerely,  ❛  are  you  my  doctor  ?  ❜

@mithrani​

“i don’t get why we need a doctor. we have tape and a toolbox. anyone who doesn’t know how to fix themselves doesn’t deserve to live.” 

“Unless you can find a way to make someone with an infection live off tape, a toolbox and sheer force of will, I’m staying on this plane whether you want me to or not.” 

“We absolutely have those three things on board!” Breville enthuses, tapping their hand against the edge of their face-screen in a thoughtful motion. “I’ll leave the decision on Invasive Procedure XJ-4122A up to you, in your vast medical wisdom!”

After a moment of processing, they add, “Yeah, you might also want to do a cognitive test. Cursory research reveals Florida Men act in some really concerning illogical ways.” The symbolic face disappears from the screen, replaced with headlines like Florida Man Tries To Use Taco As ID and Florida Man In “No, Seriously, I Have Drugs” T-shirt Arrested For Possession Of Drugs. “I’m concerned.”

The amount of headlines were alarming—a Florida Man threw a reptile at something called a Wendy’s? Impressive strength, little regard for well-being, half thought out plans. Interesting enough to make a study out of. Perhaps Florida had some unnatural phenomenon that caused most of its population to become Florida Men, an offshoot brand of human.

“I still cannot believe we’re using the Alpha ship—exciting, isn’t it? Though, we do need to do the medical diagnostics in an hour or two, unless we all want to come down with something.“