Mistress Kitty

Of all the images that I have come across on Tumblr this easily one of my favorites.

Her half closed eyes, slightly open mouth, she has lost to the trance.

Sure there may still be a small part of her fighting, trying so hard to resist. But anyone observing her knows how this is going to end.

Time to make you sound dumb. No one takes you seriously anyway, lets help reinforce their beliefs about you. You should be abandoning all your friends for porn anyway, they distract you.. This will help them distance themselves from a dumb loser like you. 

Go to your phone. Click on settings, then general, then keyboard. You’re going to sound so so dumb after this, no one will want to hang out with a loser like you. 

Firstly, click off to auto-capitalization, auto-correct, check spelling, predictive and smart punctuation. You’ve relied on these aids for so long, your punctuation and spelling are going to seem piss poor compared to normal people. But maybe you’re naturally good at spelling, even with auto correct etc providing assistance etc. People won’t think you’re dumb, you just made a mistake or two. That won’t do. We need to punish you for spelling correctly, for not being dumb. 

Click on text replacement. We’re going to change your vocabulary so that if you choose to spell a word properly, your phone will change it into something dumb sounding. The only way not to change it is to spell it wrong. You’ll have to choose, send a text that sounds like it was written by a 16 year old girl, or a text by someone who doesn’t know how to spell or use basic English. Either way, people will be laughing about you behind your back, judging you. And you’ll be jerking off to the thought of it. Oh, and as you write, some things that change wont be grammatically correct. Don’t delete it. If you wrote “if you want to” and it comes out “if u wanna 2″ then that’s how it is. So dumb sounding. Perfect for a dumb loser like you. Never use delete any more. Keep all your mistakes in.

In the phrase section, you’ll write the new replacement word. In shortcut, you’ll type the correct spelling of the word you meant to type.

Tour list of words to input are below. Once you’re done, jerk until your almost leaking. Write a text to the hottest girl in your contacts, choosing whether to spell a word wrong and sound  like an illegible idiot or spell it right and sound like a brainless bimbo. Then hit send. Goon knowing she’s confused as fuck deciphering your text. Phrase          Shortcut