Ayebea

Today is the first time in a while that I heard God’s voice SUPER CLEARLY. Then that email came through?!!! Wow!!

Nah. God has been so good to me this year. 2020 has been crazy but the DOORS GOD HAS OPENED?!! Wheew!! And let me not even talk about the LOWS?!! He took me to the lowest of lows this year and wow.

Anyways, reflecting on my life and I’m grateful I never went through with taking it. I look back to 2016 and wheew I was really going through it. Depression is not easy. It can be so subtle and other times, it turns into this great big monster that suffocates you. I’m grateful for those who noticed the signs and I’m grateful to God for placing them in my life and for opening my eyes again.

There are a lot of people who fail to understand that when someone puts boundaries in place, it doesn’t always necessarily mean they no longer want to have a relationship with you (speaking on platonic ones). It just means “this is something I don’t tolerate and/or would prefer to not engage in. So please respect that”. People always want to resort to the “you’ve changed” or “you’re immature/childish” or “you’re attacking me” narrative, and it blows my mind that they never have the desire to hold themselves accountable or even admit to their faults. To take a step back and say, “actually yeah maybe I shouldn’t have said this that way” or “yikes, what I said is actually problematic. Let me take a step back and unpack where that response stemmed from” or even reassessing their thoughts by thinking “to be honest, I should stop expecting him/her/them to be my ‘source of happiness’ or expecting that I have access to him/them/her all the time, especially since we aren’t even close”

God, thank you! 😭❤️