RMH

Janaina Medeiros

@theartofmadeline
wallacepolsom

oozey mess

pixel skylines
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
dirt enthusiast
h
d e v o n
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

â
hello vonnie
Sade Olutola
Cosmic Funnies

Love Begins
art blog(derogatory)
sheepfilms
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Philippines
@miramami

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Okay, Iâm okay now. But like wtf is going on
Oggi cosĂŹ
Iâm fine until Iâm not.
Most days I can carry it well. Then something small breaks the surface and suddenly Iâm underwater.
I linger in sleep because itâs the only place he still feels close. Waking up feels like remembering a death that hasnât happened.
And then begins the daily search for enough comfort, distraction, or dopamine to make peace with not knowing how heâs doing. Iâm fine really, I am.
Iâm fine
I think it was the feeling of being loved back that I obsessively tried to get back. That feeling of togetherness that lasted a second. Once again, I identified after it was too late. Now what remains is appreciation, gratitude, and embarrassment. Once again, Iâve identified my limitations. Walking forward with directions on the map.

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Desperately hoping to reach some version of me where everything is made better. And I find love, a true love of my own. But it looks like the end of the world has come again, and all I can do is hope heâll be okay

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Tears.
Crazy I was mistaken for nonchalant.
That was âguarded and afraid.â Iâm extremely âchalantâ

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5:00 am: I woke up from a dream that wasnât even about him⌠just missing him. Itâs like a slow cooked pain. Granted, I also have rollers in my hair.
Guess Iâm truly heartbroken. How is it that you can grow so deeply attached to someone youâve only known for a brief moment in time? He made me feel emotionally alive, seen in a way I hadnât been for years. For so long I wandered through the mundane, and now I sit staring at the scattered pieces, hoping they were real⌠hoping they still form the beautiful picture I believed I was holding. Hoping all the pieces are still somewhere in the box, even if itâs destined to sit on a shelf collecting dust.
A box filled with little treasures from the Spring. Memories already beginning to fade at the edges, slowly turning into echoes against the ceiling of my mind. Phantoms of joy. Glimpses of warmth. The memory of a safety net that only seemed to hold us for a day.
I donât know why itâs impacted me this deeply. I wasnât expecting any of this.
Guess it will leave a mark for a while.